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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
How to be repulsive to predators, repel LVM and stay safe.
For those of us that want relationships-- a huge part of finding a HVM, is by culling LVM left and right. You can't be in the right headspace to find a HVM, when LVM are monopolizing your time and energy.
You HAVE to be repulsive to predators. Be the opposite of what predators look for.
Predators look for someone naive or for people with unresolved traumas.
If you are naive-- either completely avoid men, or learn to not be naive. If you have any traumas-- work on them. The mind has a way of being in denial, to avoid addressing trauma. You can think you're doing all the right things, and you might be, but predators can smell trauma, like sharks smell blood.
In order to be repulsive to predators, you need to carry yourself with this energy of assertiveness, confidence, like you have a whole village behind your back.
You never know what man is a predator or not. Predators will typically hide who/what they are, until they feel confident that you are emotionally invested enough and/or mindfucked enough by them, to not leave, when their mask drops.
For example, if you move to a new city, don't tell men you're alone.
Maybe this advice is controversial, but I personally dodged hordes of predators and LVM by saying that my roommate was my brother. That it was a temporary situation, because we just moved to the same city.
So many men immediately lost interest. They didn't care that it was temporary, they have no patience. Use their own patriarchy against them. Men take random men they've never met, more seriously than they take women they've met and talked to. Remember that. You don't have to go as far as I did-- but definitely don't tell them you don't have friends, no family where you live, etc. You have NOTHING to gain by giving them that information.
Predators in particular zero in on women who seem isolated. That is what they do once they get a victim to trauma bond-- they isolate them from family and friends. So if you're already isolated, you're tantalizing to them.
Repelling LVM : just don't entertain them. At all.
You will repel LVM when you ignore them. Any attention to them, even bad attention, is seen as "I still got it", "She wants me" or "I can trick her lol what a bitch I'll show her".
Don't give them any attention, and obviously don't sleep with them.
Avoid most men in friendships
The majority are keeping tabs on female friends, getting off on having some access to their life, a lot actively try to get romantic or sexual attention from female friends.
Don't entertain men who send you sexual texts, who make no effort. Don't give reasons or explanations. Use a Google Voice # and block, block, block.
Don't give him the benefit of the doubt or a 2nd chance. LVM RELY on women giving them the benefit of the doubt/2nd chances.
Their "strategy" relies on women's good nature, giving men the benefit of the doubt, and giving them 2nd/3rd/etc chances. They don't have a real strategy-- they are just looking for a sucker to exploit.
Staying safe
Don't let any clown pick you up from your house, know where you live or work.
Keep social media private/have minimal social media presence.
If you are meeting on dating apps-- be super suspicious.
Don't give them your full name-- people can discover a lot about you by doing a Google search or a background check.
Always tell a friend where you are/who you are with.
Men are vindictive and you are not being paranoid, in an age with no privacy, by trying to protect yourself from men who may possibly want revenge after you reject them.
Saynad's comment:
Be PARANOID. Be extra super duper triple careful with men -- especially the ones who has interest in you. Take extra measures in making sure you are safe when out with them.
And for the love of GOD -- don't go anywhere suspiciously isolated with them! He are a complete stranger until he is your husband! If sh*t happens, husband is usually the main suspect but "boyfriend" or "date" often get away scot free!
If you think you know how desperate and pathetic LVM are, you don't.
They will use a lot of their energy and time, to try to manipulate you. If you think "Oh he's not that desperate" think again.
Just like men are the actual irrational ones, they are also the desperate ones. Everything negative that they are, they project onto us. You can't cull all LVM by blocking them after they send sexual texts. Not all of them are that obvious.
Some LVM know that they can get much higher quality women, by being more patient and more manipulative. If a guy seems too good to be true, he probably is. Always ask questions, and view all men as guilty until proven innocent.
The real HVM, who aren't wolves in sheep's clothing, are out there. But they are almost impossible to find, if you're putting 95% of your attention and energy into LVM and predators.
They are parasites, and always find ways to steal from you-- steal time, energy. As parasites, they evolve and become resistant to methods that once culled them.
For example, a lot of LVM men know that by doing the opposite things fuckboys and incels do-- they can find much higher quality women. Most can't keep up with the charade, but they get this false confidence from it-- their mentality is this-- "if I did it once, I can do it again, and next time I can find a hotter more quality woman to do it to."
Men remember hot women they slept with or casually dated in the past, and they use that as their "standard" for finding a bangmaid/slave/wife, who is as hot or hotter.
They get frustrated when they can't find a sane, stable, hot, quality woman. It doesn't matter to them if they've aged 5, 10 or 15 years since then.
It doesn't matter to them if most sane, stable hot quality women in their area/circles, are taken. And it definitely doesn't matter to them, that the attractive women they used to sleep with and casually dated, probably just regretted dating them and sleeping with them.
They have this air of "I'm a decent, good man with a good job, my own house-- why can't I find a smoking hot woman who will endlessly entertain me". They know how low standards are for men, and they capitalize on that. This is how you find dumpy LVM with attractive sweet funny loyal forever girlfriends, and you're thinking "wtf?"
LVM who want relationships are actually more dangerous and can damage your life/future a lot more than fuckboys who just want you for a night.
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.