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[originally posted by u/Vmchik]
Anyone who has ever scrolled through the hellfire that is the dead bedroom sub has seen the hundreds of men who complain about their low libido partners. They whine and complain, saying all they get is duty sex once or twice a month, and they wish their wives were more enthusiastic.
Well scrotes, have you ever considered that hammering down the “looks don’t matter” message to women has consequences? What do you think happens when women actually follow your advice and lower their standards? And on top of not wanting to have sex with y’all, you don’t even make her orgasm.
It’s laughable honestly. I hope all you men who go around telling women that complain about the shit storm that is the dating market and respond by saying they need to lower their standards get into a dead bedroom as a consolation prize. Even worse I hope you stay single forever and women collectively stop listening to this advice.
Everything men complain about they contribute to. You guys are the creators of this reality. You push the cultural scripts. I feel no sympathy and hope that these women escape the hell men and their shit advice leads them to.
Women: never settle when it comes to looks and attraction. No lack of options or opportunities can surmount the horror of having to fuck a man that makes you sick to your stomach for the rest of your life.
Men: “we want sex with women we find attractive.” Women: “okay, and we want sex with men we find attractive as well.” Men: *😭muh penis*
And what's worse is when these scrotes accuse women of being "frigid" which is a misogynistic concept that scrotes came up with to shame women for not wanting to enthusiastically fuck their undesirable ugly asses... Not to mention the amount of slut shaming that women deal with just for having sexual desires which could lead to a having trauma response and I wouldn't be surprised if being "frigid" was one of those trauma responses
Sometimes it isn't even about attraction, it's men hiding emotional and/or physical/sexual abuse when they whine to other scrotes online. When I was married I never wanted to have sex with my ex-husband because he was terrifying and abusive and, as you said, made me sick to my stomach because of how he treated me. He became more sour as the years went by from my not wanting to have sex with him, and as a result he treated me worse and worse as a vicious cycle.
I am sure my situation is in no way unique, and the stories on the dead bedroom sub omit a lot of important details like this.
It's just men not wanting to put in the effort or work, and feel entitled to keep women as their fleshlights, as always.
OMG this. Another symptom is men complaining about women "starfishing" (aka just lieing there passively looking unenthusiastic) during sex.
I mean..
a) How about being grateful that a woman let's you near her genitals at all instead of expecting her to reenact whatever acrobatic position you saw in porn (that is uncomfortable und not pleasurable for her in 100% of the cases)?
and even more importantly..
b) Why on earth are you continuing to have sex with someone who doesn't look like she is into it in the first place? Do you care about her enjoying it at all? (hint: obviously not)
In my experience women who "starfish" are either just trying to relax and enjoy whatever their partner is doing without having to feel like they have to "perform" for them (and it usually obvious that they are enjoying themselves) or they are really not that into it (hello fight, flight or FREEZE reaction) and are just waiting for it to be over, but don't feel comfortable to say no to sex because the guy will either nag them until they give in, pout or worse. And that's coerced sex, aka rape.
If your wife "starfishes" and looks like she doesn't enjoy what you are doing, you are currently raping her. And scrotes seriously want pity for that?
My ex gained so much weight he looked like he was 6 months pregnant. I was NOT attracted to that. With his repulsive, abusive personality on top of that, we had a dead bedroom and it was completely his fault. Even his mom tried to get me to get him to lose weight. Of course he wouldn't listen.
Okay so first of all, it's Reddit. You can imagine the specimens posting there. I think of that entire site as being mostly populated by morbidly obese dorks with nonexistent hygiene and dead-end jobs who nevertheless feel entitled to date a harem of high-earning yet mysteriously submissive swimsuit models. You have a dead bedroom, scrote? Maybe it's because you're fat, boring, bald, dirty, and you dress like a toddler on his way to day camp. Tee shirts are underwear and you can't change my mind. Pair those with cargo shorts (or worse, jorts!) and sandals showcasing your disgusting hairy toes and unclipped nails and I can't imagine why your wives aren't just slavering to act out your favorite degenerate pornsick fantasies. She doesn't want to fuck you because you are ugly, mean, dumb, and inconsiderate. She doesn't respect you, and why would she? You treat her like she's your chattel and you stopped courting her as soon as you conned her into putting a ring on it--if you ever courted her at all, that is.
In all seriousness I am simply done with these men, if we can call them men. Even the hot ones (and I mean genuinely attractive, at least physically) have no idea how to treat a woman or simply don't care to treat her well. Yet they feel entitled (seeing a pattern here?) to her emotional labor, unconditional support and loyalty, and of course, her beautiful womanly body. These boys desperately need to level up or they'll find themselves dying alone in some gross hovel surrounded by used tissues and the stale stench of depression and regret.
Disclaimer: There are good men out there; I am dating one. They exist. Just not on Reddit.
My bedroom was dead with first husband! Didn’t know in the 90s what a sexuality was much less aromantic. He was one cold fish so of course I walked. That was not a marriage.
This is the type of shit you get on deadrooms
"Everything men complain about they contribute to. You guys are the creators of this reality. You push the cultural scripts. I feel no sympathy and hope that these women escape the hell men and their shit advice leads them to."
PREACH!!! I'm commenting this to remind myself for later. This applies to not only this subreddit, but EVERYTHING in patriarchy. The liberal feminist male propaganda argument of "men suffer form sexism/patriarchy too!1!!1" can be summoned up with this single paragraph.
im pretty inexperienced with sex but my ex was a self-titled sex god. We never had sex because he just starfished and me being inexperienced I didnt know wtf we were doing. I think he expected me to communicate everything, initiate everything, direct him and tell him what to do. That is EXHAUSTING. I just gave up and we never had sex. The best partner I had in my pickme days was a under-the radar HVM that introduced me to enjoyable sexual experiences. I can definitely admit I may have fumbled him but I learned a valuable lesson. I didn't have to stare at him with a sour face wondering wtf we were going to do. I didn't have to: tell him to prioritize my pleasure he just did it, he was not rough, he took care of contraception by providing his own, he was transparent about health status. The first ex is probably going through deadbedroom syndrome on his own because like I said we never got intimate . It's his own fault.
I so agree with this, especially the last sentence.