A summary of the FDS handbook...

I've just finished reading the FDS handbook and was making notes as I went. Now that i've finished, i've collected up all the main points. Let me know if i've missed anything!

-Have your own full life (keep busy with hobbies, goals, friends, self-care etc)

-Look after and carry yourself well (gym, health, be well groomed, well dressed, respectable, stay grounded, independant)

-Be in your feminine (especially around men)

- Dont chase. Let him lead (he should send the first message and be the one to ask you on a date).

- He must have the basics down (be attractive, have an income, neatly dressed, good hygiene, look after his health, look after his surroundings - be tidy and clean, able to do basic adult things (do his own chores, do his own shopping, go outside) not be mentally unwell)

- Vet him very carefully for a good amount of time. Go with your gut instincts. Dont ignore red flags or anything that doesnt sit right with you.

-Be very aware that he'll be on his best behaviour at first, so whether he's brilliant or terrible, it'll go downhill from there. (Posh restaurant becomes nice pizza place. A walk becomes staying in)

- He must be a genteman (leading but respectful, pay for you, respect your space and what you say, even be a little nervous and keen to impress. Must remember things, open doors)

-Dont be too available (dont message back straight away, don't drop existing plans for him, dont accept last minute plans, dont start revolving around him)

-Dont get into backwards and forwards messaging, be sporadic (three decent messages a day-ish).

-Match his energy and effort level,

then go one notch down. Mirror him.

-Dont become infatuated. Stay grounded. Dont get obsessive or let him take up too much mindspace. It'll only unground you.

- Dont get drunk, or even tipsy, around him as it'll knock you off your game.

- Dont be a "Barb the builder. He should already be as you'd like upon first meeting.

- Dont give unless it's deserved and equal. Make him earn you.

-Use your "relationship virginity" wisely- dont have sex too soon. The time before you have sex is when youre most powerful.

-Set standards for how you want to be treated early.

-If you dont like something, tell him outright and clearly. If you have to tell him more than twice, leave.

-Dont get too familiar. Keep some mystery. (breadcrumb info and affection when its deserved)

- Dont swamp him with info, especially not bad things about yourself. Keep the spotlight on him, keep him talking.

-Occasionally lightly back off + see if he persues.

-Carry yourself in high regard and expect to be treated as such.

-Don't spellout what youre looking for (so he can change to dupe you) Let him play himself out.

-Give him the space to be a man (ask favours + for help, wait for him to open doors etc)

- "If he wanted to, he would"

-Must add value to life-take me to places I can get dressed up for • Pay for things • Help with goals (gym)

-Do you like him? Judge him for you rather than worrying how you seem. Be interview-like.

-If he's no good at the start, it doesnt bode well for the future.

-No scarcity mindset (dont date exclusively until discussion down the line) and dont give of vibe of him being obvious choice. Trigger mate guarding.

-Set standards from the get-go. Cant add them later.

-Men know that, culturally, the ball is a little more in their court when it comes

to leading and paying, so if they really like you, they'll play it safe by adhering

to this.

-"Would he be like this with his dream girl?"

- Go by his actions, not words.

- Be an immovable mover

-Frequently assess what he brings to the table.

-Never too late to leave.

-Always be aware that men are different from women.

So thats it! Can anyone think of anything i'm missing?