Im about to turn 32 and I’m practicing celibacy until love and trust. A year ago I was a totally different person. While I was also celibate then, it was because I was sleeping with fools and disrespecting myself prior. Last fall I got burned by a walking red flag of a guy who I had been crushing on for years. Thankfully I never slept with him, tho I almost did the very first night we met but I had my period. I see now that he treated me like shit from day one. the last time I saw him he made me so angry with his shitty antics that I said enough. Soon after I found this forum and my world has been shifted. Im growing a backbone, learning how to have some respect for myself, honoring myself. I’m still fucking up and definitely still have a lot of self work to do but Im getting a lot better. I for sure now have a solid mindset that I deserve my hearts wishes and my body is a sacred temple. I realize we as women have the absolute power to decide how humanity goes on. Things like abortion rights being stripped affirms my choice in celibacy as it really forces me to interrogate who I am letting close to me and why. If I get pregnant, will/can the father provide? Are they healthy? Are they fair and generous? Will they be there when shit hits the fan? Men and masculinity has a sickness and at least as child bearers we can make choices to procreate with certainty that our children will be raised with love and the material resources to thrive. Unless that can be provided to me and my baby, it’s too big of a risk.
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Good for you and congrats on your celibacy journey! I too have been celibate for the last 3 years since coming out of multiple narcissistic abuse relationships. I was raised by sociopaths in my family that set me up for failure and groomed me to be accepting of crumbs and abuse as an adult. Now at 31 I'm having to reparent myself and now I know this will be lifelong which is why I decided not to have kids. It's true if a man can't provide adequately just in case then he's not fit to access your body! Our culture is sick and toxic and sets women up for heartache and failure. We've been so brainwashed and manipulated to work in men's favor and go against our own base instincts as women to protect ourselves and our hearts. We need to guard our bodies and hearts in order to truly thrive and discern who's worthy of our presence and who's undeserving and unworthy of access to us. I only wish more women would adopt this stance . I told one guy who was a NVM I'm celibate and his only response was 'wow that seems so difficult ' uhm of course it is for you you're a low self esteem having community d*ck! Once we master boundaries and high self value we'll have higher self esteem and get closer to God than any of these scummy scrotes could ever dream ❤
Thank god for periods saving us from sex w scrotes- the og Auntie looking out for us. Celibacy is an excellent option bc it saves you a lot of hassle- glad you're embracing your p*ssy power and ruling as you see fit 👑
Even just getting to know men platonically is dangerous. So many dark triad mofos out there. Good on you staying celibate sis, don't bother telling any of this to men. Seriously they consider it a "red flag" 🙄
This dude assumes that his girlfriend has fucked every single man who has ever displayed interest in her, even though she's celibate, and it totally has nothing to do with his porn addiction. (All scrotes in comments assume the same) Their red flags are minor inconveniences and our red flags literally kill us. Don't tell men you're celibate, just vet and reject.
me too :) not missing going on disappointing dates, disappointed by men and the idea of having "no expectations" I still get disappointed. If anything, society needs to fix itself because it's produced so many toxic human beings and we are protecting ourselves by not allowing just anyone to poison us. I would gladly, heathily, allow myself to participate in a HV, healthy, communicative connection with a well adjusted man given the opportunity.
I needed to read this today. Thank you. ❤️
Thank you for writing this! I'm thinking about just accepting celibacy, for a while at least, since Covid cases are really rising where I am and I'm trying to avoid passing any illness on to some high risk relatives I want to continue to help out regularly...the hopeless romantic part of me keeps hoping I'll stumble upon a Prince Charming somewhere, but instead I'll just become my own Prince Charming and pamper myself rotten without waiting for someone else to do it for me. I've got to make myself realize that I am a Queen who deserves nice things even without someone else thinking I do.
Also, abortion laws just got a lot stricter where I am because of no Roe vs. Wade. Having to give birth to a baby missing some vital organs, who would likely only live an extremely short, painful life of suffering, would break me, yet the current law here says I'd have to. A lot of the late-term abortion stories I've read had to do with fetuses with fatal fetal anomalies like the kind my state wants to keep people from aborting even when a lot of those fetuses wouldn't survive long outside the womb and would be in great pain. That makes me so angry...
So celibacy is looking really attractive lately...
Anyways, thanks again for writing about your experiences!
29f... been celibate 1.5~years now and I started any sexual activity really late at 26 so not a long timespan. glad to know there are others out there just focusing on yourself because the world is kind of rotting and turning ugly anyways