.png)
Another one bites the dust.
A former colleague just got engaged. Sudden...but ok. She was staunchly single when I last spoke with her, mere months ago.
My mind is open, my mind is open.
Who's the guy?
A friend she's known for over 20 years. In the last handful of months they've apparently gotten hot and heavy. Now they're engaged.
She's such a lovely, sweet person. I want this to be successful, but I'm dubious. Given how quickly this came out of left field and the context surrounding her becoming a former colleague, I can't help but think this move is a panic response to the uncertainty in her life. At the time she left her role and this relationship started, she was at a very vulnerable point. Lots of instability and mounting work stress. She's almost 50, btw.
Thanks to the gospel of FDS, we know that a guy who likes you isn't going to wait 20 years to ask you out. And guys who suddenly appear when a woman is at a low point are scum. I'm blinded by the waving red flags from the small amount of info I know.
I don't fault her, panic has driven all of us to dark places. With any luck this will implode before she hits the altar.
This proves to me FDS is right about male friendships. They really do wait years to keep you on their roster, then pounce.
Sounds like her fiancé is the one who panic proposed because he’s feeling his own mortality. Your friend was the most vulnerable woman he could take advantage of in his proximity. He’s looking for a nurse, cook, and maid for his retirement years. An airtight prenup might scare him off. Guaranteed he’ll become an instant misogynist as soon as they cohabitate. Women can’t risk financial abuse at 50. She could end up homeless if he ends up being trash.
I have a homegirl who had a panic baby. Dude is 50, she's 27. His daughter is a couple years younger than her. He literally never gave her a relationship, wont pay for a single diaper, and triangulates her with his dead wife if she asks for anything.
She used to share memes about "If you reject everything that doesn't serve you, you'll end up alone with cats" :/
I have an older woman in my family who fits this exact description. Dude friendsoned her and then he got desperate and saw she made good money and had a good career plus had gotten fit.
Plus you have to also realize a lot of men will also get desperate and they're just as willing to pounce. You have to wonder he was probably so ready to lock her down.... marriage benefits men so much more and especially being older he knows he will want the extra income and the extra help being taken care of! Plus as they get older some get smarter at putting on a high value act!
Such a shame to see women settling and rushing when there is no need.
My bestie did this last year, he moved in with her before the planned wedding date and everything went to hell because he’s a gaslighting abusive c&nt.
They split fairly soon after he moved in with her.
So I’d encourage them to move in quickly in the hope that the cracks will form before it gets to marriage.
At least engagements are easier to break off than marriages.