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Saw this article from a feminist writer I enjoy and thought it would resonate with many folks here. If you like her writing, she's got a newsletter you can sign up for.
"I didn’t have to bargain for child-free hours because we had 50-50 custody. I also didn’t have to convince someone else to let me outsource household cleaning. In the end I didn’t need to hire anyone at all, because my house was cleaner. In renegotiating my life, I had negotiated a better deal for myself, and it was court-ordered. I no longer begged to shift even some of the burden of childcare or housekeeping onto my husband. Our custody agreement mandated that he and I bear an equal share."
Co-parenting is slavery. 50/50 is hardly ever 50/50. I wouldn't wish it on my own worst enemy (who just happens to be my ex-husband). Even when I did have 50/50 (with my addict ex, who forced my kids to live in a flophouse surrounded by crackheads) he'd pawn them off on me every chance he could get. And I, of course, would willingly accept- thankful that they would be safe. He, of course, only wanted 50/50 so his child support wouldn't increase. He tried with all his might to get full custody and would have succeeded if I hadn't put up the fight of my life. But family court still awarded him 50/50, knowing he was a tweaker. Freaking hell. And it took proof of him physically harming my kids to finally have him put on supervised visitation... and guess what? Our child support order hasn't changed, because I'm terrified to take him back for any reason. Because I refuse to open up that can of worms and leave it to the discretion of a (most likely) misogynist male judge. So fuck it, I'll have my full custody with my 50/50 child support. And I fucking hate that I'm in CA, where I can't just offer to waive child support in exchange for him terminating his parental rights, which I know he'd love to do.
Fuck him, fuck 50/50 custody, fuck 50/50 men.
It’s very good thank you for sharing. I could feel the rage rising up in my throat two sentences in.
Men want to have their cake and eat it too. He wants a liberal 50/50 household but also wants a mommy mcbangmaid 50s housewife as well. I bet he slept with her before marriage lmfao. I'm so glad she escaped his blatant lies and deceit