What are your thoughts on pretty privilege?

Just like my opinion on misandry. Pretty privilege is a myth. First they tell you to have brain, then your looks, then the apparent combination of beauty and brains. Have both, never got as much privilege as a guy. So, who am I competing with my privilege here again?

Also, if it were a really useful thing, then explain me DV done over to the likes of Rihanna, MUs, women actors who are the dreams of a nation easily?

This reminds me of a post I read on the pinkpill one time. The poster was talking about how she doesn't care about attractive women with mental issues because "they actually get free help."

I rolled my eyes so hard. So being called pretty by strange men on the internet = therapy? Some women really think that attention is currency, and that they can cash in compliments at the bank. No ma'am. If you want to cash in your beauty, you're gonna have to do some really depraved shit on camera and for less than a grand.

It doesn't exist. All women get a big slice of the same shit pie.

The halo effect is real- it's why part of FDS"s level up is to improve your lifestyle, diet, and clothes- improve what you can to benefit where you can.

Debating on pretty privilege is just a waste of time- just like the makeup debate. And the irony of chalking all women's success up to her looks is not lost on me.

Women trying to make mysoginy cool bc "she's pretty, she's privileged" are showing their asses and it 1000% shows that the "discrimination" those women are facing isn't bc they're ugly, it's bc of their personality.

I dunno how much of a “privilege” it is to get unwanted attention from gross old men.

Agreed, it's total bullshit. The only 'pretty privilege' I've ever experienced is a) being underestimated constantly, and b) being treated like attractive bait by all the fuckboys of the day. How that is supposed to benefit me I'll never know.

Like anything, it's a double edged sword.

I've been on both sides of the fence and there's a straightforwardness to being ugly that attractive people don't have. You never wonder if people are using you for your good looks or if they like your personality. You get taken seriously at work, because no one ever assumes you slept your way to the top or are dumb.

Being attractive gains societal compliance, but there are many, many pitfalls to being pretty. You can't trust anyone, you aren't treated as human. People hate you on sight, you get stared at constantly. You become the vector for other people to act out their trauma.

Being hotter or thinner than average comes with more positive attention AND more NEGATIVE ATTENTION than average. Same shit everybody else gets, just more of it.

I've had heated discussions about this in radfem spaces with women who were absolutely convinced that attractive/non-ugly women can never know loneliness and ostracization in the same way non-attractive women experience. It's a hard topic to discuss because there's too many different personal experiences and traumas going into it. I've been bullied for my appearance in ways that weren't an attack on my beauty (because I was "odd" and also developed early), and I've been objectified and sexualized from age 12. Other times I was made to feel invisible and unimportant because I'm physically small. So while I might have "pretty privilege" in some ways, I also have a "treated like public property and not taken seriously debuff". I personally have come to the conclusion that people focusing on women's bodies and making comments about them is always harmful to women, even if the comments are positive. I personally could NOT stand relatives making my body and what I ate a topic of discussion on almost every occasion even though no one told me to lose weight (often the opposite). On the other hand, I am not at a higher risk of bullying anywhere I go just because of how I look, so I understand that those who are look on prettier women and deduce that their prettiness must be a huge advantage in their lives. It grinds my gears a little that they do assume that pretty women live life on easy mode because they'll always have male attention... when male attention is a huge risk to women's safety in and of itself, and definitely not the compliment others think it is. My thoughts are a little all over the place on this. To summarize, I don't think this artificial divide between women is of any use in feminist discourse, but many so-called "femcels" heavily disagree.

I knew 2 women, both models, but only 1 got heaps of attention. She claimed it was pretty privilege but I think it was just because she was a pickme 😂.

Like she batted her eyes all the time at LVM (even while taken) then "wondered" why they were flocking to her. She pretended it was all effortless, but I saw everything behind-the-scenes: the expensive/strenuous beauty routine, the stuffing of bras, she even ditched “prettier” friends (to be the best-looking in the group) and wore makeup TO BED so no one ever saw her bare face… To me, the attention she got was just PRAISE for her hard efforts conforming to misogyny. And she got "discriminated" by women like myself simply because she was a sh*t friend who only cared for her appearance and male validation.

On the other hand, I’ve seen women of various appearances get a whole room watching her, but she just doesn’t notice. Her Queen energy makes her untouchable by most. Only the most respectful and worthy may be in her presence. To me, this is what it really means to be an attractive person and get places in life.

I had a woman tell me I didn't deserve respect from men because I was pretty. I run a meet up group for Gen X'ers and I was telling that woman how I was thinking about deleting all the men, and doing an women's only group, because the men were not respecting the group rules of it not being a dating group. All the men would answer that they understood it was not a dating group, then immediately hit on me, and ask me on a date the first chance they could. This woman says, "Well, can you blame them? Look at you!" And I said, "So because I'm hot I don't deserve respect? But women who are less hot do?" And she immediately back tracked and was like, "No! No! Of course not. You deserve to be respected, of course." Like WOW..women don't fucking think sometimes

While I believe in looking presentable and the best you can be for yourself in whatever means you can for your self-esteem and mental health for you and yourself only. It's dumb and I think that's what people accuse women of relying on OF for thinking that every woman just has to be pretty, make all the monies and suddenly that's the privilege of being a woman. I think it's just another layer to the BS of men saying they're "visual creatures" but really many of them have terrible vision anyways.

Sadly the biggest antagonist I've had against me and my looks has been my mom. She'll get angry and aggressive at me if I do my looks up but then when I go out looking like a bum she also gets mad at me. She has awful problems with her internalized misogyny over a woman doing things to up-keep their looks like it's an attack on her, personally.

I thought a parents love is the only genuine emotion in heaps of cases but unfortunately I was wrong. Statistics has shown that parents with beautiful children are treated better and get more resources, they are like the only child when she’s the most beautiful.

Pretty privilege is a real thing. So far all the men that has ever offered themselves are only nice because Im considered beautiful. Never because of my character. When I was the ugly duckling I got bullied and mistreated when I levelled up and embrace that a Queen is not how she looks it’s how she moves I realise that self respect is what I should seek, not a man’s love or approval.

Now that I’m a mystery and move in mysterious ways strangers are asking all kinds of questions simply because I live in private.

One lady at the store asking if I was married with kids, I was like “Oh here we go again” I said no and to my surprise she said “Good, keep it that way, don’t let men and kids steal your life and beauty, you’re beautiful. Have plenty of sleep and don’t make the same mistake as I did”

The man she was with leech off her until the grave. And her sons are useless overgrown babies.

Well there you have it. I did the right thing by living like a Queen.

To me it's a wash. For every benefit there's a dis advantage

Pretty privilege discourse has captivated the minds of young women and girls. It's sad.

In online spaces, you'll see women talking about how they got free drinks, clothes, discounts, money, etc for being "pretty". And young women and girls see this and pay close attention to it.

These young women and girls don't have the experience to see it for what it is. All these "free" things don't mean anything. They don't understand that quality outshines quantity.

And as you get older you realize that male attention + validation is cheap & easy to get. The girls need to wake up because even "unattractive" women got game lol.

I believe it exists, but you have to take into account a few things.

→ It's not static. Cultural currency plays a part - what is considered attractive in one culture / region / situation may not be the case in another, so you can be considered attractive / have privilege in some instances and not others. Being pretty at a club is different than being pretty at work. Being pretty at a young affluent college is different than being pretty in a dive by on the side of the a highway.

→ There's a bell curve where pretty privilege is at its peak. I think the "sweet spot" is being above average but not SO attractive that you start to attract people's envy / hatred / ire / bias.

→ There are multiple facets of attractiveness - some of it you can control, some of it you can't. I think a lot of people struggle with this.

For instance, you can be average in the face but if you have a nice body that's going to account more towards attractive points than vice versa - and for most of us we can control our weight but obviously without surgery we can't really control our face.

Dressing well and being put together, confidence, how you carry and present yourself, etc. can have a HUGE impact on your attractiveness as well. I think we've all no

There's more to it but I think if women understand and master these facets of pretty privilege, the VAST majority of us can use it to our advantage.

Pretty privilege exists outside of the gender divide. Men have pretty privilege too. When you observe men, you notice they tend to also bully each other. Pretty men have more easy access to women, are more desired by women, and sometimes can use this against men who are less pretty. I have seen good looking guys be nasty to ugly guys.... Pretty men get cocky from all that attention from women, and treat women badly. Most players are generally good looking men. You rarely see a fuckboy who is ugly or bad looking. Pretty men have an easier time getting women to say yes to a date (before she finds out what he's really like... because he looks hot). And pretty men often use this to their advantage.

In the workplace also, pretty guys get promoted more easily. Especially if it's a public speaking role or in entertainment, like an actor. Ugly guys have no chance really of landing an acting job (if they have nothing else going for them: no connections...). Guys who are easy on the eyes tend to get all those nice easy jobs like newscaster. Meanwhile all the other guys either have to smart up and compete with their brain, or toughen up and compete with their physical strength to get a shitty job laying pavement tiles.

So it's a thing that exists for every human (woman and man). (And especially noticable in men: because they already have male privilege. So when a man has pretty privilige also, he gets double the privilege.) This exists because we humans are biased and we tend to judge people too quick. We judge them by their looks, by appearances, not by their actions. So a good looking person more easily makes a good first impression. They start off with a leg up in the game. And unless that person does something really terrible, or has a nasty rumor spread about them, the first impression tends to stick. So pretty people (especially pretty men) get more easy access to a lot of resources and our time and energy.

Unless...... unless there are other factors that might make us prejudiced against pretty people. Like I mentioned in my first example of all fuckboys being pretty dudes. I now have bad experiences with pretty dudes. So I tend to judge them negatively upon first meeting a pretty dude. But... while all fuckboys are pretty dudes, ....not all pretty dudes are fuckboys.... So it is possible that in my negative bias and prejudice against pretty men, ...I unfairly judge some man just because he looks good. When I don't even know him. That is fine because this protects me from the dangers of fuckboys. But.....

This goes to show that other people can have negative reactions to pretty people. Perhaps this is logical and rational based on previous experiences with pretty people. But it is also prejudiced and can be painful for a pretty woman... If a lot of people are prejudiced against her... because of something another pretty woman did....

That said, pretty is subjective. It is greatly influenced by culture, and somewhat by nature and symmetry. But it's so arbitrary, and in the end, it is tough to really define. Even if I personally think someone is really ugly... There will always be several people who will love the way that person looks, and consider them very beautiful. It might be possible to uncover a general beauty standard by looking at the average over a large number of people, asking people who you find attractive. Psychologists have done studies into this. But in the end, this will give you the current beauty fad. And what does that even mean. Beauty standards change over time. Should we really care about the opinions of random strangers? What they might or might not think of us... Well I think only the opinions of the people close to me are what truly matters (to me). If my girlfriend thinks I'm pretty, I don't give a shit what the neighbor thinks I look like. I will go out wearing old clothes and with my hair in a mess because that is more convenient when I'm shopping and I have nothing to prove to anyone. If a company won't hire me because they think I'm too ugly, then good. I would rather not work there. It sounds like a super stressful toxic environment to be in. I don't have time for that. Why try pleasing people who can't be pleased?