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I am sorry I have been MIA for some time. I'm making career moves and personal moves. I am here to give my safety advice about parking your car. This applies not only to dates but to things like visiting a client for work or living life alone. This should not be a long post.
When it is safe, convenient, and legal , it's better to back into a parking spot and pull forward to exit instead of pulling forward to enter and needing to back out to exit. Why? Because parking facing forward makes it easier to make a safe and speedy exit. Here is a real life example: I went to a shopping center for my lunch break to use the restroom and have a spot to eat. As I was eating my sandwich, a car parked in an unsual spot right behind my car and took up four spaces. A group of men came out and looked like they were doing a drug deal or something. They were too close to my car for comfort and were lingering there exchanging something with people from nearby. I quickly turned on my car, pulled forward, and exited the parking lot. Had I needed to back out, I would not have good visibility and may have bumped into the other cars and since they were so close to me even hit another person. My coworker agreed that those guys looked shady and like they were dealing drugs. Maybe they weren't. They were in their 40's or 30's and white so I wasn't racially profiling them.
Park near other cars but not where it's super crowded that getting in and out is dangerous. In my little incident above, I was kind of isolated from other cars. I used to like parking in random corners of parking lots because I didn't have to stress about pedestrians and other cars as much. Now I understand that cars around you = witnesses if a crime happens and a deterrent to thieves and criminals. A good middle ground is to park where there are a few cars but not heavy traffic.
Number 2 also applies to visible cameras. If you see a visible surveillance camera, it is a good idea to park near it. Even if the camera doesn't work, it deters criminals.
You are better off paying for parking in a lot with a security guard than parking for free in places like big cities where leaving your car alone may not be safe.
Hide things like shopping/ grocery bags, purses, etc as much as possible. ESPECIALLY things like laptops or phones or purses. People look in cars to see if it is worth stealing from. If they see a laptop they may break your window but if they don't see your laptop they may decide it's not worth the risk. Be careful with things like cute decor because someone may perceive it as valuable.
A luxury or brightly colored car may draw more attention than a nondescript car. Be mindful of it. My "midrange luxury car" came out to cheaper than a Toyota or Nissan or Honda but someone in passing will not rationalize that. For my job, I am very mindful that peopl may see my car and view it as a target.
If you finish work when it gets dark, park as close as possible to your building or take your evening break to move your car as close as possible to the building so that when work gets out you aren't walking alone through a dark parking lot. My job often lets me finish from home so I try to finish from home when possible to avoid the darkness.
When you get gas, day or night, keep your purse on your person at all times and lock your door during the gas pumping process and then reopen it when you finish to avoid thieves and solicitors who may try to get in.
Always have pepper spray or a knife or something discrete (obviously following the laws or your area) discretely in your hand. Do not let anyone attack you without a fight. Take self defense courses. Also for umbrellas or canes: a rapist may know you can use an umbrella or cane as a weapon and that may deter them from raping you.
Always know your cross streets or address in case you have to call 911.
My post ended up long 😅 more advice:
When you get into your car, immediately lock it. Don’t linger in your car playing with your phone as tired as you may be because someone may use that time to jump into your car. Try to get in and out as fast as possible and lock the car as much as possible.
Also another non car safety tip: be careful what you post in your backgrounds on social media. Even if you don’t share your location, people can recognize things like: what gym you are at, what apartment complex/ neighborhood you are in, the park you are at, or what school you go to based on what is in the background of your photos. A girl I went to middle school with became a cam girl and I know what apartment complex she lives in because I recognize it on social media. I don’t call it out but people who live or have lived in our area will be able to recognize it. Once I saw an advertisement that was filmed in a park that I knew. If you have a public social media profile it may be shared with people nearby on the algorithm so be careful what geography is around you and what can be recognized.
Another one:
- If you are sitting in your car and someone outside bothers you and you can't drive away (e.g. blocked by other cars, waiting at a stop sign, would run someone over...): be as loud, annoying and visible as possible. Honk, let the motor howl, flash the lights, turn the radio up as far as it goes, spray windshield wiper fluid, whatever your car does that would catch someone's attention or annoy them - do it. Even if nobody comes running to your aid at the moment, you are creating witnesses and catching people's attention and that will deter the person who is bothering you.
If you drive a small car, don't park it between 2 big cars (e.g. SUVs) where it can't be seen. Makes it easier to steal (the theif can hide) or for someone to hide, lurk and attack you. Park your car near smaller cars or those of similar size.
Great advice. It's just sad that we have to constantly think about these things and men don't. It's exhausting.
No. 5. Never leave valuables in a car. Never leave laptops in a car.
I'd like to add;
Always look around at who is in the cars around you, and look beneath your own vehicle. I always approach my vehicle from either the front or the back in such a way that I can see down the passenger side and beneath before I get close enough to unlock or get in.
Pay attention to what is parked on your drivers side when you go to get in. Nondescript vans with dark or painted over windows, large vehicles with dark tint, anything with a sliding side door. Too easy to get pulled in as you're fumbling with your keys or bags.
Use your key to open only the drivers side door as you get in (don't ever use the unlock all doors button on your fob) so that someone can't open the passenger side doors and slide in while you're getting in. If you're say getting groceries and you leave to take your cart back (even if it's only a few steps!) then lock your doors before you turn away. Depending on what make and model of car you may be able to click only once to unlock the driver door only, and twice to unlock all. Consult your owners manual, figure it out, practice until it's second nature.
Finally, keep your hands free as much as possible. Full hands that can't fight back easily make you an easy target.
When pumping gas, always keep a weapon ready in your hand. have situational awareness to make sure no one is approaching you, and keep your purse hidden and locked in your vehicle when pumping. (Keep the passenger doors locked especially because sometimes people sneak into cars from the other side while the car owner is distracted.)
Pay in cash inside to avoid skimmers. If you don’t have a weapon on you then you can spray the attacker(s) in the eyes with gasoline. When you park to get gas pick the parking spot that has high visibility for the gas station clerk, security cameras or security guards. Witnesses/cameras will deter most attackers.
Also come off like you’re in a rush and expected to be somewhere even if you’re not. Don’t sit around in your car on your phone or slump around. If an attacker thinks you’re planning on meeting up with someone they’re less likely to attack. Most serial killers and rapists choose their victims based off of how socially isolated their target is.
If anyone ever asks you for the time or says you dropped something don’t be afraid to be rude. Don’t look down at your watch, don’t take out your phone and don’t turn around to look at the ground. This is a common tactic criminals use to distract their victims so they can knock them out when they’re not looking.