Roast a Scrote: Tarot Edition🔮

Aww, thanks!

And thank you to all the FDS Queens who’ve commented or liked this post💞🔮✨

2 of Wands, Death, Knight of Wands.

Indecisive and wishy-washy. He only wants someone once they cut him off. Suddenly he’s rushing in and wants to “start over” but goes right back to being on some bullshit once feelings or actions are reciprocated.

9 of Wands, 6 of Swords, High Priestess, 4 of Cups.

Addicted to the chase. When his love interest is guarded and moving on they start to appear mysterious and intriguing to him again. He could also be guarded towards love in general.. preferring to move on before catching any real feelings or getting too close.

More issues than People magazine istg🙄

100% accurate this is exactly what he did! Lol.

Jerry - 2 of Swords, 5 of Cups

Stubborn. An emotional let down. Could have procrastinated or been unwilling to compromise when it came to this connection and ended up losing you for good. Now he feels dumb bc he is dumb.

K - Empress, The Star, 5 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups

Had major hopes that you could be the one but ended up feeling left out in the cold by you instead. IMO their perfect match is anyone willing to be their replacement mommy.

Al - Knight of Cups, 7 of Swords.

A thot fluent in fuckboyanese.

Syd - Queen of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

Probably dealing with an earth & air sign woman at the same time on some weird love triangle / thruple bs. Delusional enough to think he's the prize.

Dan - King of Swords, Knight of Swords, Justice.

Over-thinker and always in his head. Must intellectualize everything instead of just feeling things for once. Can sometimes be dogmatic and cutting with his words when provoked. Exhausting AF.

Sooo accurate! Shed some helpful light, too, Queen. Thank you for all of the readings.

7 of swords twice? Oh hell no.

These demons will really be like sorry I cheated I’m still processing the pandemic and the death of my second cousin’s pet turtle that died of natural causes six months ago💀

Yeah it just screams dealing with a narcissist or sociopathic male..they love to misplace their abusive behavior onto women and claim their exes were the ones who abused them when it was the other way around!

So true! Whenever a man tells me a sob story I automatically reverse the roles in my head. Believe men? in this economy?? absolutely not.

Clever

LMAO my ex is a gemini, say less😩

7 of Swords, King of Pentacles, Page of Cups.

While shuffling the cards I kept hearing the lyrics to Let’s Talk About Sex by Salt N Peppa..

7 of swords..he's dishonest, sneaky and calculating.. usually unfaithful. Someone who likes to present themselves as having it all together, but the real him is probably very immature or too self-involved to step up and be the man he claims to be.

4 of Cups, 9 of Cups, 6 of Cups

Blows hot and cold, and probably this way with others as well. Can go from being totally into you or the life of the party to comepletly withdrawn and emotionally closed off without warning. Type of person to no longer want something or someone once they get it.

A whole clown.

Knight of Cups, 4 of Cups, 6 of Cups, 7 of Swords.

Player who loves to charm and future fake their way into people’s lives only to turn around and get distant or go ghost over and over again. Their love language is love bombing then leaving ppl on read for several days.

Two of Wands, Page of Wands.

They’re the type that wants to have their cake and eat it too. Wants a relationship but still wants to be free to do whatever or pursue other options if something better comes along. Thinks grass is always greener on the side they didn’t water etc.

Will probably be ready to settle down once their hairline starts receding.

3 of Swords, 8 of Pentacles, Emperor Rev

A professional heartbreaker with daddy issues. Emperor card fell out in reverse so he’s probably incapable of bring consistent or reliable even if his life (or yours) depended on it.

5 of Pentacles, Page of Wands, 9 of pentacles.

Broke male alert‼️ Did he try to move in with you at some point? if not, he’s probably the type that thinks going 50/50 or letting his wife be the breadwinner while he stays home to play video games makes him a feminist.

Anyway its giving hobosexual.

4 of Cups, 7 of Cups, Devil.

An emotional black hole. Always slighly detached and disinterested even if he pursues hard at first. Tried to work you into his hoetation oops I mean "see where things go" but then ghosted/slow faded when he realized you weren't interested in being juggled or used for sex.

8 of Pentacles, King of Pentacles.

Like most LVM earth signs he's probably a workaholic who's obsessed with money and status. Might do well for himself or is on his way there but has little else to offer a woman besides community dick and the occassional gOoD mOrNinG BeAuTiFuL text exchange that goes absolutely nowhere.

Damn I'm a Taurus

I’m a Libra and I love female earth signs, especially Taureans & Virgos.