.png)
Was with him on and off for a few years and I'm devastated that things didn't work out. We're still going to try to be friends to some capacity, but of course I want to distance myself. I brought breaking up first, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. He was a good guy. Just wasn't the one for me I realize and vise versa at the end of the day.
Feeling very guilty because I’m having the worst mental health day after i just broke up with a long term bf (no cheating involved, just wasn't right to be together any more). and my grandma called to confirm if I would come over. I barely speak Vietnamese and I didn’t have the heart to just say no. But I don’t want to have a mental breakdown around family, haha.
I love them dearly, but I’m just not so open with my mental illness and grief… being a Christmas killjoy if I suddenly have an anxiety attack where I start crying would feel humiliating. It would only make me feel worse… yet I feel horrible for not feeling alright enough to go to a family function. I’m hoping I can visit tomorrow or when everyone else leaves because I think I’m less anxious with my grandma one on one.
Damn me for letting my anxiety overcome me on Christmas like it did on thanksgiving… but I can’t control when I might be breaking down, so I may as well choose where / choose to face these emotions alone. I love grandma so much for saying I have to come because she made lots of food and I understand why it’s important to show up. I just hope I’ll be able to show up in my own way because I know I’m going to experience a panic attack if I do cave and come when I’m not ready…
I'm truly mad at myself for not being strong enough mentally to think I can push through a party. I don't mean to let a male affect me this much... But I can see it being an even worse holiday if I ignore my gut instinct to not come / to take care of me today - even if it means being alone to process.
This happening on Christmas of all days though... Christ haha. I guess I'd rather know that we're better off apart sooner than later, but it's the worst timing ever...
We don’t become friends with ex’s that’s not how things work and the fact that you were on and off for few years shows that this is a toxic dysfunctional relationship!!! Yes, absolutely take the time off for your mental health. I personally went out and did everything when I ended my last relationship because it helped me not think too much and distraction was perfect for me. Do hat you think is best. My best friend missed my birthday because her ex broke up with her … it didn’t bother me because I know what she was going through. However, I think being surrounded by loved ones is part of healing so be the judge of that and see what you truly want to do. If it’s to stay alone and cry it out, to that. Best of luck :)
Go spend time with your grandma and family and don't let this guy ruin what could be your grandma's last Christmas on earth. It's okay if you need a hug from grandma. You'll feel better. I cried to my grandma 17 years ago when I got divorced and also when my next boyfriend and I didn't work out. Now she's been dead, and I can't see her at all. Don't let temporary men take you away from those who'll love you forever.
Don't be friends with your ex please. It's going to cause you much more grief than benefit. He doesn't deserve your free emotional labor anyway. He gets way more out of that deal than you do!
ah another Vietnamese sis here!
please don’t stay friends. He will hover, keep you as a backup fuckbuddy, triangulate you etc. it’s never a good idea to stay friends with an ex. You deserve better than that and an on and off relationship. You’re free to do whatever you want now.
No it’s not Don’t worry It happens sometimes Break ups are sometimes a big deal, you’ll do better next year!
Take care of yourself first. Christmas comes every year, don’t stress about it. You can always ping folks in the new year to get together when you feel up to it. It’s not worth sacrificing your sanity. Stay well
Your granny won’t be angry at you. Take care of yourself.
And forget about your ex. There are billions of other men on earth it hurts for awhile but you will recover soon enough. Sometimes it's just the hormonal bond driving these feelings.
It’s not worth trying to stay friends with exes, though it may be possible after years have passed. But it’s not possible in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. Best wishes