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So, I just had a personal experience with projection and I wanted to share it with you ladies.
I was a huge fan of taylor swift's songs, especially her lyrics. To the point where I simply couldn't listen to any other artist. They made me feel powerful, cool and I imagined my own heroine's journey to those songs. In my eyes she was a goddess.
Then, over the past few days, I had a terrible case of cognitive dissonance, confusion and dare I say heartbreak, when she associated herself with a pornsick LVM. I felt angry and irritated. Was the strength I derived from her songs all invalid now?
When I sat a bit with this ridiculous situation of celebrity disillusionment, I discovered something for the first time. The Magic, Truth and Power I felt in her songs were actually a projection on my part.
Ladies, we often talk about projecting our own values onto another person, especially men. But what does that actually feel like? I never knew. But I know exactly what that feels like now! Because it is exactly what I did with her lyrics.
Here's a few examples of what I mean:
The song 'Anti-Hero': There is a line that says "I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money". In my mind, I always changed it to "I have this dream my father-in-law kills me for the money". I chuckled thoroughly at this, because in my culture, the woman's money is often taken by her in laws and also because men are wayyy more money minded than women irl. This IMAGINARY line was the best part of the song for me, lol. Which I only realized now.
The song 'Ready-For-It': I adored the beat and vibe of the song. It was soo powerful. I imagined myself doing such badass things to that song. Overthrowing empires, that kind of stuff. Now, I realized the actual lyrics are basically about 'holding' down an indifferent man. lol.
The song 'Invisible String': In my mind, this song was about finding indifference and peace after a high strung and abusive realtionship. I imagined a chilled out, wise woman singing this calmly and smiling to herself with her eyes closed under a tree. In reality, the song is about finally finding a soulmate. Complete opposite of what it meant in my mind.
And the list goes on. Most of her songs actually do not in the least align with my values. But I projected my values onto her unknowingly and was in for a rude shock consequently. My exercise in petty celebrity gossip led me to this insight about myself.
PS: In no way shape or form do I endorse involving mentally in the lives of celebrities. It is actually LV behavior- but I'm ashamed to admit I got carried away by this one. But Taylor Swift's escapades is not the point of this post at all. It is simply about how I made up completely different songs in my head and heard something different than what it really was. Our minds are verry powerful at projecting- you often don't realize it until reality kicks you in the butt.
Do any of you ladies have similar experiences of projection? Please share in the comments! We need to be more aware of when we are projecting so it can be nipped in the bud
Projection is human. It's about, as you say, being conscious of it. The beauty of art/music/stories is that we get to make our own interpretations of them. It's literally one of their functions to help us process, make sense/meaning of life. So celebrate the meaning you made, the power you felt, and yes, it's ok to let them go if they/she is no longer serving you. Sometimes we can separate the work from the artist, other times we can't, or don't want to. All this to say - I hope you're not giving yourself too hard a time about it. One thing I've noticed with this, is that I can interpret songs COMPLETELY differently many years later, and then again years later. Depending on the perspective/experiences I have, the phase of life, etc etc There's nothing wrong with that, that literally is one of the benefits and functions of art. That said, I totally understand the disillusionment/disappointment that can occur when a person we looked up to/held some kind of image of (civilian or celebrity) falls short/goes out of bounds of that projection/idea we had. Especially if, like in your situation, you had one impression of the artist due to the meaning/projections you made, and then saw the Artist in a different light. It happened to me recently with a male celebrity that I had formed a particular idea of, then saw him behave completely contradictory to that. And then again, just today with another male celebrity, who I really thought was one of the 'good guys', and alas, learned he was NOT. It's especially tough being projected ON TO I would say as well. But that's an adjacent conversation.
On hearing a Taylor Swift song differently than it was: a scrote I used to deal with had randomly said “I love you” for the first time to me while we were making out. I instinctively knew he didn’t mean it AT ALL and he was just saying it to get sex (he got no sex). And like we are old enough to be Taylor’s parents as well, so then this scrote texted me “Delicate” an hour after I left the date. “Is it cool that I said all that?” 🤡 No, sir, it was definitely not cool at all and now this otherwise lovely song is ⬇️ for me.