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(This was posted in the comments and amended to add other information.)
I have been a fan and applicant of FDS for the past couple years and appreciate what this forum and podcast has done.
But one of the few things that kind of get me miffed is how automatically bad anime (or Japanese animation) is and how it's a red flag.
I get it. There are some inappropriate sides of anime such as hentai (pornography) that can unfortunately involve the exploitation of women and children. With the eyes on Japan about their pornography, they are currently cracking down in that sector of the industry and making sure women and children are protected.
As an anime watcher of over fifteen years, anime, once a small focused medium in Western countries, has taken a strong foothold around the world. Depending on when a series comes out, the anime can be a product of its time. What was popular back then, might not be what people like today, but it still has a place in people's heart for nostalgia or feel good moments.
Since I have been in the anime scene for quite a long time, it helps me see which people to avoid.
To gauge a man's taste in anime look at the following:
Does he prioritize anime over other stuff?
What type of anime he watches (keep in mind Japan has some biases against women so if the series has misogyny in it and he speaks poorly of female characters, that's a red flag)
Merch: I like collecting anime products, but I make sure that it is tasteful and I don't cover up if my conservative mother comes. If they have a lot of inappropriate figurines, get away. If he spends all of his money on merch and is not saving money, run.
Actions: Does he use inappropriate dialog from series? Run. If he does things that were appropriate for the anime situation that is not appropriate in real life, run.
Hygiene: Similar to other indoor hobbies, if he is unkempt and smells bad, run.
Here are my green flags of anime series:
Women with agency and talents.
Girl/Women led series that are not narrowly focused on being a man's gf or spouse
Genial protagonists: are the main characters understanding and sympathetic to those who are different from them
Proactive characters: characters who learn to grow from bad situations when given the chance.
Flattering fanservice: are the characters comfortable with their partial or total nudity, showing skin for their own reasons (ex. Water scenes, exercising) and the scene don't linger.
Ability to choose their own path
Intelligence or Cleverness
Comedic in a nonharmful manner
There are plenty more options, but I feel that this is a good summary of possible series.
Sometimes I feel anime gets a bad rap compared to other forms of medium. As I get older, I learned to be picky with my anime watch. I expect men to also be picky with what they watch.
If you have series that you're not sure about, you're free to DM me. I am open to feedback on this post.
Superhero comic books use crotch shots for female characters in action scenes and sexualized costume designs. Movies and tv series have sex and rape scenes and unnecessary (female) nudity all the time. Songs about brutalizing women won awards. Magazines for women and girls are promoting crazy beauty standards and harmful sexual practices. We have to be picky and wade through trash no matter what our preferred media is, including anime.
Tbf I understand why people who doesn't watch anime think it's for kids, especially whose countries' adult animated media are political/satire and often ugly. I can't, for the life of me, watch South Park lol. Anime tend to be aesthetically pleasing no matter the target age group. Adult anime series like Death Parade, cover heavier and darker themes, though—definitely not for kids.
I don't have to actually be familiar with an anime title to decide if I have to be beware of or straight B&D a guy. A single search of the title can tell so much.
My personal don'ts are:
Harem genre, especially with ugly/loser/dumb male protag if not downright pervy ones
Ecchi/hentai genre (porn)
Yuri/Girl's love genre (lesbian fetish)
Female love interest designed like literal children or act like one (pedo)
Sexualized female character designs
"My little sister..." "My step sister..." titles (emotional incest at the very least)
I'm a die hard one piece fan, but I'd NEVER date/marry a man who likes the series. I have to take periodocal breaks from the show/manga every few months to build up my tolerance for the misogyny because Oda treats his female characters so horribly that it starts to weigh on my mental health. If a man can enjoy that shit wholeheartedly, he does not see women as human beings on some level.
I've been a big anime and video game fan. So yeah I don't really agree with that too much. But in my experience it depends on the anime and games. If I guy was really into anime that portrayed woman in a negative way I would take that as a red flag.
I agree with your comment that here anime is perceived as a more depraved medium than western things. Like turning blind eye from American cartoons that are also (if not more) disgusting in a different way. Two wrongs don't make it right, I know. But I wonder if there's prejudice here. For me, both medium are foreign, and both are weird in their own ways.
I don't watch anime actively like I used to, but I'm still around the community so I know what's in. Unfortunately, like any other media, there will be some level of misogyny.
In current season, there's a series called Frieren that I think seem pretty tame. The story is good, there are next to zero fanservice. The main character is a very strong female mage, who is accompanied by younger strong female mage, and her mentor was a strong female mage too.
im a avid anime watcher too and recently i have not seen any good animes come out, i mostly prefer shoujo only(makes sense cuz im their taget demographic) and some of the OG shoujos are so good than the new ones, even if the mangas are decent and dont gave any fan service, the anime is made to cater only to the male audience, it disappointed me so i stopped watching it
I do watch anime, and I agree, usually anime gets perceived based on the most popular shows, but there's a shit tons of other shows out there, I think the feelings of disgust towards anime is valid since a lot of it contains sexual assault as jokes and pedophilia is rampant.
But that also applies to other media as well, I couldn't consume western media when I was younger because of how much it was sexualized, anime is more subtle and I was young and didn't know what fan service is so I didn't react that much (naivety combined with not caring about nudity), it surprisingly also never breaches certain lines, it rarely shows sex scenes for example.
There's more things I look for as well,
I usually struggle to find something I enjoy watching, and it's no different from vetting men, I look for red flags that would mean the show is trash and steer away, and only watch certain shows, I want someone I date to have high standards for the things they consume as well rather than just watching anything.
I also want to know the reason why he enjoys the things he consumes even if it seems harmless on the outside, I would never tolerate him liking a horribly misogynistic show, if you have basic empathy, and a sense of shame, you'd never want to be associated with certain ideas, even if the show has other good things.
And most importantly, does he admits there's misogyny in the first place? I would never date someone that pretends it doesn't exist, or even worse, hate the female characters themselves for being "useless" rather than the author who deliberately made them this way.
Lastly most good shows are done by women, my brother told me his favorite genre is Josei (marketed towards adult women) and he set a standard for me, and he's right, that's where the best quality shows with actual mature themes I watched, if he's too "manly" to watch girly shows I know he's consuming misogynistic shallow content where the plot is always about getting stronger and being idolized.
I don't really like anime, so far I only liked DBZ and I gave a few a chance that were okay. I will not watch multiple because anime in general is ridiculous. I moved on from Z because now it's a hot mess of garbage.
Soon I will be giving Demon Slayer a chance.