What do you think of gender roles?

Ooh yeah i'd also like to know which ones you think are realistic and which ones are BS!

I won't say I have an opinion on all of them, because I'm not that informed on all possible details of the science.

But like, cooking - BS. Women are supposed to cook at home but male chefs are big alpha bosses? Makes no sense, based on nothing.

Men doing more of the physically demanding jobs (construction, military, etc) makes sense because they are just stronger.

I think generally "women control access to sex, men control access to commitment" is true and, while somewhat based in men being shitty, has to do with biological differences. Sex is more risky for women, even if we make vaccines for all stds and everyone is on BC, because of rape (and strength differences). So women will always be more choosy in sex because the risk vs reward calculation is different. Men will always control commitment because they can just walk away/don't get pregnant.

I have a personal example that imo is a realistic portrayal of acceptable gender roles.

Both of my parents worked. At my house there was a lot of grueling outside work year round: the vegetable garden that kept us fed plus the trees Dad cut down and chopped. Maintenance of the land is more physically taxing than many modern people can comprehend. All of the family helped in picking vegetables from the garden, cleaning them and readying them to store over winter. I look back quite fondly of all of us shucking corn, stringing beans, shelling peas, etc.

Dad took care of the outside and the vehicles. Mom took care of the house and us kids. When you see your Dad come in at lunchtime from working hard in the heat for 5 hours straight, it really seems right that there is a meal ready for him to eat and a cold drink.

The problem I see is that a lot of modern men are fine with the gender roles of the woman staying in the house, but the men don't have outside responsibilities. They aren't chopping wood, planting the garden, etc. They are quite literally doing nothing substantive. Playing video games and consuming pornography for multiple hours a day contributes nothing to the household.

Part of it being equitable is that everyone has their role, both are working hard and both benefit from the other person's contributions to the household. Gender roles fall by the wayside when you both work and live in a city apartment.

I'm curious as well.

FDS rules say a woman should never approach/instigate contact with a man if she wants a romantic relationship with him. I agree; in the U.S. and most other parts of the world, if a man does not approach a woman of his own volition, then he is not interested in the woman.

However, I have felt turned off almost every time a man has approached me. My gut tells me it's predatory, and it feels wrong.

I have followed the FDS rules on this, of course, but I'm wondering how I can reconcile the FDS rule of never approaching a man with my gut feeling that it is wrong for a man to approach a woman.

P.S. In some English and German cultures, it is considered wrong for a man to approach a woman. The most a man can do is try to be in the presence of the woman he is interested in. Ideally, his presence should seem accidental. The woman must do the approaching, and if she does not approach, then there will be no relationship.

We should just go back to dropping handkerchiefs imo.