What do radfems think of men paying for the date?

I'm a radfem and I see it as vetting for generosity. It's plain strategy for a certain trait I want in a man. I go out to eat alot alone and I can pay for my own food. The money isn't the point, it's the gesture. I used to think 50/50 was the way but life is not 50/50 for men and women. I also know I'm good company. I dont know what other radfems think or feel. I think it's a misunderstanding.

Yeah a lot of Radfems don't date men. I'm a radfem and I think men should pay for everything. Radfems desire to create new societal systems that benefit women instead of trying to bargain for rights within the existing system like libfems try to do. Radfems are not interested in being equal or fair with men.

He BETTER pay for the date if he wants to see me again. I'm a 39 year old rad fem and back when I was dating, I never went on a second date with a man who didn't pay for the first. As some others pointed out, it has nothing to do with money. I'm a lawyer and have usually always outearned any one I've dated. Rather, his paying is, for me, a way that a man conveys interest and affection.

Radfem here. He can pay for everything if he wants the gift of my company. I'm not paying to be in a relationship with a man.

Our financial independence is meant to free us from men. It's not meant for us to pay to be tied with men!

A libfem falls For the manipulation when men carry on about gold diggers and womem who just want men for their money. Sort of a pickme way of “proving” she wants him for him

except the men that think that way are already misogynists preoccupied with winning some kind of oppression olympics against women and feminism. I don’t want that man

while another libfem may not necessarily be trying to prove she isnt a gold digger, but rather trying to prevent a situation where the man feels entitled, but this is what a dinner date and driving separate vehicles is for.

I want to see their attitude about women and about paying. If I offer to pay and he says “I ain’t Dutch” then it’s a no-go. He’s ”traditional” (misogynist) and I don’t want him. If I offer to pay and he rejoices or tries to compliment it in some way, then he’s likely the other type who thinks men are disadvantaged because of buying a 15 dollar meal.

libfems and men need to get a grasp on the fact that male accusations are confessions. They like to claim that women demand the perks of equality as wel as inequality, when it’s really the exact opposite. Men regularly deny that things are still unequal. Women are still disadvantaged in dating, marriage, and childbirth and if men demand the perks of equality (women paying for things, etc) while the ptriarchy is still in full swing, then they aren’t evening the odds. They’re simply doubling down on misogyny

its funny if we look at other countries and cultures where women are even more oppressed, a lot of the same male “oppression“ exists there too, but western men are smart enough to know that it’s still the men who are in power. In the west they act like they don’t understand equality

Men are privileged class and should always pay. They’ll make more money for less work anyway. Also will be good if he is covering your transportation cause it’s dangerous at evenings for women to go.

FDS showed me a whole new theoretical framework for this issue. It blew my mind. I'm usually quite firm to my beliefs but they opened my eyes to a totally new way of looking at it.

The most striking, probably, is that it doesn't logically follow that we "owe" men sex if they pay for our date or meal - yet, we are socially inculcated into this belief. When I used to date men (I am a lesbian), I avoided ever letting them pay because of the existing power dynamic and not wanting to exacerbate it and owe them anything/believing this would keep me safer. I dated a fricking aerospace engineer when I was in a minimum wage job and always paid half! The pickmeism / naivety oh my dear god.

That whole view (women should pay 50/50) is partially predicated upon us buying into their belief system that we DO owe them sex if they pay. As it's otherwise "not fair". Despite their longstanding economic coercion and dominance of women through various historical and contemporary means I.e. pay gap, lack of maternity pay and childcare, religious and cultural expectations to prioritise being at home, unpaid care, women-heavy sectors being poorly paid and men's the opposite, hindering women progressing in highly paid 'male' fields (tech, law, science) through stereotypes of our deficiencies, sexual harassment and boy's clubs. Therefore, if you reject the sex is owed premise- as FDS does - then you can freely accept being courted.

You also need to accept your high value and worth to do so, too. Another issue here for libfem babies who've been groomed into performing pornified sexuality and believing our self validation and worth comes through titillating and appealing men, and that we compete for them instead of the other way around!

I think this perspective (allowing men to pay for dates) is compatible with radfem especially as FDS is for heterosexual women wanting to date men (designed for this). It analyses the situation *now* rather than the idea we wish to move towards of egalitarian relations as radfem does.

If you reject the tit-for-tat quid pro quo of "owing" men sexual favours for paid dates, and accept your infinite value and how much men deserve to compete to woo you, then accepting dates being paid for is absolutely fine as a radfem for me!

As we move towards men lessening their economic control of women (the 'level up' aspect of FDS achieves this. Plus, FDS insists you have your own assets and means of dropping a man at a moment's notice) then there can be a re-evaluation.

However, on the other hand, the necessary reproductive labour of the planet can only be done by women, therefore it makes sense that men serve us in their gratitude and awe for this essential, magical, irreplaceable role we play within humanity. On a practical level we cannot be working physically whilst giving birth, child rearing - also mensturating, pregnancy, our cycles and hormones should be considered in terms of contributions of labour.

I could go on. Haha! Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk anyone who has read this to here! :D