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Anybody else can't stand it? Gendered slurs seem to be the only socially acceptable slurs to use openly and freely. The word "bitch" feels like a weapon to me. The older I get, the deeper it cuts. Especially since my verbally abusive ex would call me it so often whenever I would dare to "get an attitude" (ie. speak in an irritated tone). And I've noticed I get called a "bitch" a lot more lately since becoming more direct in my communication and saying "no."
My mom called me a bitch last night and it stung. For context, my mom and sister are both huge pickmes in different ways. Growing up, my mom would always tell me that "men don't like x" and "men will like you more if you y" and tell me that my body hair was disgusting etc. Whenever I would vent to her about the verbal abuse I was experiencing at the hands of my ex, she'd say that is was normal and everyone says things they don't mean when they're upset... you get the point. My sister has NPD and histrionic personality disorder and is an addict. She was abusive towards me growing up (which my mom doesn't seem to understand for some reason... when I told her the things she would do to me she would just say "why didn't you tell me?" So I don't think she believes me?) and as an adult I've become less and less accommodating to her requests.
So last night for Christmas we were doing an artsy activity together and we were taking turns cutting out our images. As I was cutting out mine my sister asks me to cut one out for her. I said "nah you guys are on your own" which admittedly wasn't the best way to say it but I didn't think that it was that big of a deal because we were all working independently on our projects. My mom called me a bitch for that. It then reminded me of how she recently called me a (r-word) because I made a mistake trying to help her with something. My mom has always been an amazing and loving mother and has never called me names until recently (being the past year). So I'm not sure what's going on there.
Then there was an instance a couple months ago in class where we were going over our homework together in small groups of 3. One of my group mates had an answer wrong and I gently corrected her by saying "the answer to that one is x" (just straightforward) and she goes "You little bitch..." Part of me thought she was kidding at first but nobody laughed and it got really quiet and awkward. I was probably being overly sensitive with that one but given how that word has been used to hurt me so much, it affected me the same way.
It doesn't matter how the word is used. Even if it is used "playfully" or ironically, it hurts all the same and triggers something deep within me. And yet you hear it everywhere all the time. And somehow it's okay because the people who are affected by it are the ones who are deemed to be "less than" across the entire fucking globe.
My brother called me a "nasty bitch." I blocked him.
No I get you, i think it’s terrible that it has been normalised. It’s all fun and games until they weaponise the word against you… it’s as if anyone of any race could use the n word in a derogatory manner against black people… but no one gives a shit coz it’s women
I called out a friend in high school for calling me a bitch. He’s “nonbinary” and dresses in drag regularly. He had no idea it would hurt. But yeah, he’s well versed about gender issues and understands women 🙄
I feel similarly.
The word expresses hatred for femaleness...via whatever it's tied to (your words or behavior.)
A woman being irritated or even mean could be called an ass or a jerk. The b-word though, therein lies the sting.
When it's used against men it is also used to apply a slur of perceived female characteristics to them.
Ever notice how there is no "n-word" for women? If f***** is found in your tweets, you will be canceled and accused of hating guys forever. You can't say c*** to Chinese ppl too. But no word against women can get you to lose your job.
I like the Kimmy Schmidt response to this word:
A female dog? The thing that makes puppies? Nice compliment!
Bonus points if you sound very chipper saying it, as if you really think it's a compliment.
The person who was calling her a bitch goes away confused and frustrated. I would love to confuse and frustrate someone who says hurtful things. 😆
I don’t like it either especially in a derogatory way towards women and this includes when men say “getting bitches”
My fave comeback: boys I’m taking charge here, or babe in total control of herself. Choose either, I like both. Shuts them up and shuts them down every time.
Misogynist slurs are completely unacceptable just like any other type of slur. Most people are pretty tolerant of misogyny, and they'll tell you all the reason why you shouldn't oVeR ReAcT to the word "bitch". But those people are wrong, and you're right. Misogynist slurs hurt because they're supposed to hurt.
The only response to being called a bitch is "That's QUEEN bitch to you!"