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Thankfully I still have plenty of fellow HV “sisters” to rely on: my mom, my actual sister, a handful of friends. But within the span of 2 years, I’ve gone No Contact with my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, quite a few of my closest longterm friends, other nice women I’ve met in my life and I think I’m on the verge of cutting another close friend off or at least vastly distancing myself…
None of these cut offs were easy. They put me through so much strife, some situations escalated so badly to the point I’m still a bit scarred/angry. They seemed feminist but ended up total pickmes or low value. They stopped making effort, took me for granted, crossed many boundaries and/or refused to grow or get mental help, etc etc. To this day, I’m probably the villain in their story. I could go into some of the crazy drama but that’s not the point of this post (perhaps for another day).
It just seems so bittersweet and contradictory! To be so proudly PRO-WOMAN yet I’m cutting off some of the closest women in my life… And to think that I had a harder time cutting off women than I did cutting off men…
And then there’s a mix of emotions to contend with: I’m disappointed they failed to step up, resentful for how they treated me, shocked some even treated me the way a LVM would, and confused that they were (and still are) angry at ME when they’re the ones in the wrong. And my feelings of betrayal are stronger with them than when a man betrays me.
I guess the point of this post was to reflect a bit and see if you ladies have any insight. Or just looking for a space to get this off my chest.
What are your thoughts on Sisterhood?
EDIT: Thank you ladies for all the your wisdom and reassurance 🥹.
You aren't alone. I give you empathy I am here for you and so is FDS. it's a reality that a lot of women are still so deeply ingrained in pickmeism even if they acted feminist or made some effort- if they're still pickmes they can and will drag you down. Pickmes hate other women more than anything and cannot stand to see another woman flourishing, so they're crabs in a bucket. They will only continue trying to manipulate and trick you back into pickme ways - and the more you're around it the more suseptible you are.
It's hard to cut them off. But unfortunately that's the only way to really heal and grow as a HV woman.
I had to leave a lot friends who I really had wanted to believe were good people, with good intentions. But i couldn't stand the pickmeism. One really hurt. We were college classmates and studied together, would get lunch, and workout together. We'd go over to each other's houses. She was like a sister to me. I was included in a lot of family stuff she had and vice versa. But then she started dating a lv scrote who told me he wished he'd met me and wanted to sleep with me. I told her as they were still dating and she didn't care. I distanced her but when I would see her she was more and more of a pickme. I'd hear only about how weird he was, and how I "needed" a boyfriend and we could double date. She pressured me. She started bragging how she pays for him, cleans up his apartment for him, drives him around, and brings him homemade food and how If if I'd "try that I'd find a man". I finally cut her off and it was for the best.