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A friend of mine sent me this post to check out (she knows I want to design my own house). We talked about how pathetic it is and that calling this a "feminist" build is ridiculous as it implies that the wife is doing all of the housework, taking care of the kids, and managing her own career instead of choosing a partner who's willing to help her out in the slightest. It got me thinking about something Gail Dines brings up during her criticisms of third-wave feminism: the difference between individual feminism (ie the focus is on "empowerment") and community feminism (ie the focus is on "liberation").
This "feminist build" idea can be seen as "feminist" in and individual sense because of the idea of "empowerment". Because empowerment is a feeling that different people can get from different things, I suppose a woman in this situation might find her hideaway closet to be empowering because it does improve the situation she's already in. It gives her a private and quiet space to get her shit done. But that's it. This closet workspace does nothing to benefit women as a group. In fact it can be seen as harmful as it reinforces stereotypes that a woman should be doing all the house and childcare and if there is a real room for doing work, the man should have an automatic claim to it. Instead, communitarian feminism would push men to help out with the chores and kids and push women to only have kids with a man who's willing to do those things. Does that help the woman already stuck in that situation? Not necessarily, but she could realize she's living with an extra child and lessen her load by leaving him. Instead, it would help generations of women to never get stuck in that situation in the first place.
This difference is also prominent in sex work and the sex industry as a whole. A woman (typically white, already well off, with little risk to her safety) might say that sex work makes her feel "empowered", therefore individualist feminists will support the entire industry. Meanwhile human trafficking, violence against women, and actual neural damage in children are all exacerbated by the industry. Communitarian feminists will see the harms and acknowledge that the safety of thousands of women and children is vastly more important than the feelings of the handful at the top. The way to support women is not to let them be happy in their own destruction, but to stop the destruction.
Bringing this up with self-declared feminist friends typically leads to them getting uncomfortably quiet and leaving the conversation. But these are the questions we need to be asking ourselves if we truly want women to be respected in society!
Have you guys noticed other examples of this distinction in your own lives?
yes all these mom are silent warriors, moms are superheroes etc...it's not empowering, it's all an excuse to make men just watch her do the stuff while he sits comfortably on the sofa sipping beer, because calling his wife a superhero is easier than actually contribute to the house. Even all this, mom this mom that, it's actually sick and not at all feminist. We also have women who call themselves feminists who say they don't trust their men with children or housework, then why the hell did you marry a slob? I also don't see why women should need to balance life and work, when we shouldn't even pose the question. Or the latest seeing a post about a woman announcing the weather from home and having her baby strapped on her. And she is seen as a hero and balancing life and home. Uhm no, it actually enforces the idea that the only caring one is the woman, and that a woman should keep strong no matter what while men can just stay in bed resting. She shouldn't even be working with a young baby like that, she should be on maternal leave, but hooray for modern slavism which money call feminism and hustling. That is basically modern day slavery.
I have also noticed a trend of ideas that are really just designed to "keep women in their place", but shrouded by the guise of being "feminist and empowering".
A laser hair removal salon nearby did a small campaign that said something like "free yourself from the patriarchy-imposed need to shave! Just remove your hair permanently with lasers!"
Without realizing that this is literally GIVING INTO the patriarchy.
The "mommy escape rooms" are literally the same thing.
They're just cementing the gender role that women need to be able to take care of absolutely EVERYTHING in the home and still hold down a career. And if you need to have a mental breakdown over it, do it in the little closet behind the fake bookshelf.
That's just insulting, honestly.