How patriarchy is the downfall of women's freedom and life experience. (part1).

How being in a patriarchal society automatically takes away your power and disconnects from authentically experiencing your life as a woman. (Part 1)

1. Shame. (Body/acts/choices)

Shame is one of the most powerful tools to control your life with minimum effort but long-lasting and growing impact.The more shame you feel, the easier it gets to control you and cause u to be silent, unconfident, weak and in fear. If you have feelings of shame, you’re most likely to avoid community and vulnerability with people or even with yourself. You’re more likely to suppress your emotions especially if you’re a woman because with shame, comes feelings of worthlessness, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. You don’t want society or men to devalue you furthermore.

Women usually feel shame from something that happened to them or because of something projected onto them and that can manifest in different but similar ways across all cultures (rape, female body rejection, irrational restrictions on women’s social role or behaviour and bullying from men, hair on women… etc).

Many women don’t recognize that they’re feeling shame within their existence, they think it’s normal and that it is a part of being a woman. Being completely submissive and compliant to patriarchy in today’s world is guaranteed to keep women down and reduce them to absolutely nothing other than tools of entertainment and service for men. Just like they were for thousands of years.

2. Deprivation. (Power/freedom/education)** Throughout history until present time, men deprived women of freedom, power and education through social, sexual and financial restrictions and gatekeeping in order to control women and force them to believe that their one and only purpose is to serve men. Women’s power and freedom are taken away through men’s existence in their life and in their culture. Patriarchy thrives best when women aren’t allowed to think or recognize themselves as women. When women don’t recognize that they can live and feel and exist as an independent being from a male, it becomes as evidence to her “inferiority”, “weakness” and “need for men”. It’s true that at a certain time in history women couldn’t exist without men safely, but that was solely because of men and their crimes against women and not because of nature or biology. Men deprive women from connecting to themselves and from their brain.

As you can see, men will do anything (including abuse and rape women) and say anything just to further convince women and reassure themselves that patriarchy is natural because the benefits they get from patriarchy are endless. Anything that happens against women is evidence to men’s superiority and not a reason to help women.

Read about how women in stem are constantly discouraged, it is the western version of depriving women from education. They’ll use you for labor and “lesser” job but the jobs that the new society is getting built on.

3. Ridicule/bullying.

Making fun of women was always popular among men and that’s because because men bond over degrading women (because they realize how weak women are to comply to patriarchal societal rules that completely ignore women’s needs and worth).

This usually done by highlighting and bringing attention to one certain valid action taken by a woman and twisting the intention and meaning of her valid action in order to make it seem hysterical and irrational. For example, men call women “emotional” when it is completely normal for a human to express any kind of emotion like anger or sadness or grief. Men call it “nagging” when a woman sets boundaries with her husband. When a woman speaks up against their abuser, she is just a worthless slut that wants his money. When a woman has high standards for men, they call her a “gold digger”.

It gets a lot easier to dismiss women as a group when a woman living, communicating or setting boundaries becomes nothing more than a funny bonding moment or an “inside joke” or a stereotype. This also includes ridicule of women’s interests, makings, and hobbies even.

4. Invasion.

Men invade every aspect of women’s lives.

Don’t convince yourself that your life isn’t invaded by men. Because in our society on earth, what defines women are men and not what women say. Even when they’re not physically invading your space, their voices, opinions, expectations, rules and conditions they set over you invade your life and decide what you should be doing as a woman.

Since the age of 8 men force you to become aware of them. They catcall you; they sexualize your body against your will, they harass you, they see you as the perfect helpless prey. Your body doesn’t belong to you anymore, it belongs to men and what they choose to sexualize and sickly have fun with.

That’s why later on, you’re made to feel as if your period is shameful and gross. Your hair on your body has to be removed because of men, they don’t like it and super shameful and embarrassing for a woman to have hair on her body. You realize in order to be a normal woman in this society you have to conform to whatever rule men set for women. And that doesn’t exclude your personality and the way you behave.

You don’t want to shave and want to go out in public? You’re a crazy, irresponsible, unclean, unhinged, unladylike, loser. You gained a little weight? You have a little cellulite? Short hair? Bare nails? No make-up? You laugh too loudly? You’re “funny”? you have opinions? you don’t try to please the males in your friend group? You have separate interests to make up and heels? You don’t want to have kids? You’re fighting patriarchy? no, you’re just less of a woman and society will make sure to let you know. Men decide your worth.

You realize everything changed now and you’re not as free as u thought u are.

And important note to take, when it comes to groups, by invading female spaces, men as a group take away our ability to communicate with other women and form meaningful and independent connections. Men want women to believe that female connections are fake and not as fun or meaningful as male relationships. Sometimes, their sole existence is enough to ruin female connections because women are socialised to be more focused on serving and pleasing men as well asbeing attentive to men’s needs during socialisation. Plus, female subjects require privacy so it’s hard to have while men are in the same sitting. But men can bond just fine even with women in the same sitting.

5. Gaslighting.

Psychological abuse was always used by men against women in relationships, families, work, business and even with strangers in society. Gaslighting is done to gain or maintain control. This is a very popular tactic that is so often used, thatit now comes naturally to a lot of men to make women doubt themselves and convince them that they’re disconnected from reality or are crazy and illogical. This is used everywhere to distract the woman and cause her to lose the main point in an argument or a protest or a debate or a work situation. Many men do it individually and many women fall for it.

6. Projection.

Everywhere in media and in reality, and history, you see women depicted as the liars, cheaters, make others’ life harder, emotional, talk too much, stupid, bad drivers, untrustworthy, shallow, useless members of society… never the other way around. Because if men are any of those things it is usually for a deep, buried reason. (their struggle is noble)

In relationships, it's common for the man to project all his failures on the woman and all his shortcomings especially during marriage and children. he will hide his insecurities and uselessness by projecting everything onto you. He made your life hell? He will accuse you of making his life hell. He held your life and career back? He will accuse you of holding his life and career back. And it won’t be true in any sense. It is important that you become deaf and grey rock him to death at that point.

7. Reluctance.

A collective reluctance to help women or include women is prominent in all cultures, no exceptions and among all ages. Men will also weaponise their

incompetence since pretending to be dumb with women has no consequences or a damaging reputation attached to it. they're reluctant to helping their sick wives, they're reluctant to do emotional labour, they're reluctant to remember birthdays or spend time on a present, they're reluctant to help their wives during holidays or trips. some are reluctant to defend their wives or support them no matter how inhumane it is. Men intentionally make it harder for you to set boundaries with them by overreacting and blowing things out of proportion and making themselves the victim because they’re reluctant to benefit u, respect you or help you.

8. Weaponization. men will weaponize rape against women, they will use it revenge or teach the “worthless whore” a lesson. To break women, to make them fear men and to tell them that they don’t have control over their own body or choices. In some countries, a male relative might call someone to rape the woman in order to get her imprisoned for “fornication” or to force her to marry her chosen rapist because the family gets money for marrying their daughter off. Men in many countries weaponize private convos and pics of women in order to actually ruin or end their live.

Men will also weaponize their mental illnesses against women. They will weaponize the laws against women, men will weaponize the misogynistic culture against women (revenge porn, beating an unveiled woman, catcalling, marrying 4 wives) they know everything will be considered your fault in the end somehow. Rape is the biggest weapon used in war against innocent women and little girls.

Men will weaponize their reluctance to understand and affirm women’s suffering and misogyny against women in family or political debates. They will deny there are any issues for women (u should be accepting crumbs because if women survived being nothing but maids and sex objects, it can be again and you'll be submissive).

All of these things take your attention away from yourself and place it on men and their needs and how accommodate to their emotions and wants.

`You, as a woman are not free. You’re not spoiled or supported by society; your fight is not over nor is it a good fight. you're not even close to being an "equal".`

`it is a necessity that you have to be rebellious, that you have to be mean, that you have to be smart, that you must support yourself and other women. you owe it to yourself all women.`

Part two coming soon.