FDS opinion on age gap where woman is older

My male friend who is HVM, married his wife when he was 26 and she was 32 years old so 6 years older than him. They were both working and had good careers and now he owns two businesses and is making a lot of great money but she decided to quiet and stay at home. He spoils her and the kids and takes great care of her but you can tell they are a little different.

This is a broad question that is deeply subjective. I don’t mind a few years younger, as long as we’re at the same stage in life, i.e. both own homes (or if he doesn’t own yet, has good savings prepared to buy a home), established in our careers, have a balanced lifestyle, shared values.

I think it’s gross and creepy if a 40yr old is with a 20yr old, she’s just a sugar mama. He is not fully matured and it’s obviously just for sex. Serious relationship wise, it’s not so bad if say he’s 30, you’re 40. As long as values align and you’re compatible overall. I think as long as he's 25+ and also has developed mature sensible values, he's fair game. Obvs if he's a childish 25 yr old, then hard pass. It really just depends on the guy.

I actually prefer guys my age or younger (I'm 30 so I'll date max 4-5 yrs younger but will probably accept up to 10yrs when I’m 40) bc they’re likely to take better care of themselves. I’ve never been a fan of men older than me, they just do not take care of themselves. If a man is older than me, he must be exceptional. Younger guys are better imo bc they work harder, are extra competitive with older males as they want to prove they're a worthy candidate, and want to please you more. Most experiences I've had with dating a younger guy, they treated me like a Queen.

For it to work, I think they have to be in their 30s and 40s or older. A 20-something guy is going to be lazy and take advantage. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Well, if the woman wants to get used for sex AND money, then date a younger male. Now if the woman is just fine using him for sex and doesn't let him have her money or heart, that can work. But successful males look for younger women or women around their age. Just be careful, because it's usually a trap. My mother is 8 years older than my father, and in the 1970s, that was pretty rare. He ended up quitting work when my sister and I were very young, sitting around, doing nothing, and abusing us and our mother. He never felt the need to contribute to the house in money or work. He never paid a dime of child support when he left either. He's always dating older women because he has no ambition or money. Men with money and ambition almost always choose younger women. They'll even trade their same age wife in when she hits 40 and he's in his "mid life crisis." All I can say is be careful with all males regardless of age. They're not to be trusted and must be vetted for your entire relationship. They will try to get the most from you for the least effort. And being older means added pressure for the woman to remain young and beautiful which can be hard. Men leave their spouses when they get really sick, so it will be even more likely if you're older than him. It's a shitty situation but that is how most men are at heart.

I personally wouldn't go more than five years in either direction. I want to have things in common with the guy.

To tell you the truth, because I understand a lot of men out there be saying stupid shit just to fuck with you about the age of a woman, but to be blunt, the women that men seem to be the most in love with are the ones who are either his exact age or just about a year older or younger.. the closer the gap, the better. No more than that.

The men who seek out older women are either looking for easy sex, money, or a mommy figure because he refuses therapy. The men who seek out younger women are either looking for easy sex, bragging rights, or someone to care for him when he gets very old and frail in the near future.

The men who seemed the most devastated about not having me were the men who were right at my exact age or have that 1 year +/- between us. The men who seemed less caring overall were men who were older AND younger than me. These are just my experiences though, so mileage may vary. But I also realized that with my previous exes, they seemed very much hung up on other women in their lives who were their exact ages. I think men talk a lot about younger women because they want to hurt the women of their own age where it hurts.

Life is hard already and relationships are already hard work without the added stress of incompatibilities, starting with the age thing. Why do it?

I think it’s creepy when either gender who is 30+ goes after late teens and early 20s (18-22). If you’re in the same life stage and have fully developed brains like 30 and 40, then I don’t judge it quite as much. However, I personally wouldn’t date someone more than about four years older than me no matter my life stage

I say 3 years is the max. I don’t need a child by my side.

Honestly, depends on the man. If he's HV, no problem.

But of course younger men can be LV, so vet, vet, vet.

I don't think it's quite as nefarious as men going for younger women, but it can have its drawbacks due to the way society is set up for men and women. Men get used to being taken care of way too quickly and stop pursuing their own life goals. That's actually the case in the only "reverse" age gap relationship I've seen IRL (he is only 4 years younger but they started dating when he was 22, so still very young). She works full time and is the breadwinner of the household while he can't be bothered to finish his degree because he "doesn't see the point". He does work a stable,

reasonably paid ime job since forever but obviously hasn't progressed much in the last 8+ years. They want to get married and have kids this/next year. I wonder how that's going to go...

I made the acquaintance of a couple in which the man was ~25 and the woman was ~30. He had already courted and married her. He was a high earner in finance, enabling her to pursue her love of baking as a career. They were planning a family soon. He seemed calm, caring, and respectful, not to mention attractive and fit. I did not know them well enough for deep analysis, but based on what I observed, I had no concerns for her enjoying the partnership of a slightly younger man who had his life together!

A relative of mine was in her mid/late 30s when she got together with an excellent young man in his early twenties. They’re a successful couple several years later. I think it can work with the right people - and I agree with a commenter who said that limiting ourselves to older men serves the patriarchy.

i've dated 6 years my junior twice. both did not work out, but i'm not entirely sure the age gap was the only factor.