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Porn videos largely represent the male dominating and humiliating the woman: painful rough sex, aggressive BJ's involving forcing the woman's head down, ejaculating onto the woman's face/eyes, anal, and all the rest of it. Data analytics on a massive scale have enabled tube sites and porn studios to determine men's post popular sexual fantasies, and this is the result.
To the men who watch these videos, the dominance and humiliation elements are what arouses them. This is eroticised to the point where they could probably be turned on by humiliating a woman even outside of a sexual context. So the usual feelings associated with sex are actually tied to the power dynamic.
Now, some women, especially those who have consumed a lot of porn, can also find themselves aroused by a power dynamic. Usually not to the same extent by far (as wanting to be hurt), but it's still there. This makes me think that it's to do with something wrong in our culture that has linked male dominance/ female submission to sexual intercourse to the point where this is actually turning people on.
It just seems to be such a coincidence that even people's sexuality is in the same style as the distribution of power in society.
The neural pathways are the same. Our bodies are multipurpose and our sexual highway can be hijacked and trained to respond to specific stimuli. That's why porn is so dangerous -it hijacks our sexuality and our limbic system and conditions us to have a sexual response to the degradation and objectification of women.
Gail Dines goes over this in detail in her book Pornland and in (pretty much all of) her lectures
https://www.gaildines.com/videos/
I do believe there's some intrinsic aspect to it, but it goes rampant because society VALIDATES men's darkest desires. Boys are brought up on porn these days, the power imbalance is almost impossible to untangle from their sexuality. In many mammal species, the most violent males are kept in check in some form or the other, but we have failed to do so as humans. Patriarchy took over as the primary social hierarchy because it plays to the inherently male desire of controlling their own lineage and not being able to deal with the fact that they should actually impress and care for women to secure a chance a procreating. Women haven't had a chance but to breed with the most coercive and violent ones for the longest time, but today, many of us do have a choice. We need to collectively say no to sexual violence, but as you said, it's hard because porn is so pervasive and it has trained people to be turned on by power imbalance.
In the days of my early sexual experiences, where everyone was inexperienced, I could STILL tell who watched porn or not, even without all the information. At that time I slept with several boys who were aroused by human touch and connection just as me. So no, I don't think dominance/submission is natural, since it correlates so strongly with porn use and other forms of violence. For us olders it is so evident that in 20 years what was once abnormal and infrequent has become normal. The sub/dom attitude has always existed obviously but not to this extent.
I agree with PlainSimpleTailor that there's something intrinsic, but that porn validates the dark side.
Like, power is sexy. A man who has power to do things is sexy. You can't really be a provider or protector of your family or meaningfully contribute to your community without some power. It's sexy when a man can pick me up and carry me around, or chop wood, or lift heavy things. Those are all demonstrations of his physical power. So I think power is inherent to sexuality for men and women.
There's a "good way" power can be involved in our sexuality, porn just warps it. It's supposed to be used to protect and pleasure the woman you're with, not hurt her.
Some of what I'm calling "intrinsic" is probably just an animal thing, and some is probably a society thing, sure. You can't really completely remove the society around you and that you grew up in from your sexuality. I grew up in a patriarchy, I live in a patriarchy. I know I'm at a disadvantage in that way. So a man who can protect me and provide for me in that context would be "extra" sexy over just the "animal" part.
Do you believe women naturally have a sexuality based in submission? No, it's socialization on both sides.
No. The dominate/subjugate dynamic is manufactured and hijacks our psychology and nervous system and brains. Its not just in sex/porn, but it is pervasive through much of lives, patriarchy, industry, etc etc I do however believe to be true that there IS polarity. In its highest/healthy form it is NOT abusive, coercive, dominating. there is not perpetrator or victim. There is humanity and no compulsion. Look a bit more into polarity and see how that sits for you. mascunilne/feminine polarity. a wide range of resources out there to varying degrees of quality and perspectives/leanings. Make up your own mind...
re "It just seems to be such a coincidence that even people's sexuality is in the same style as the distribution of power in society. " I believe, it is rather, performative, or conditioned, sexuality. it's not real/authentic, and lacks true intimacy.
it's not natural, it's culturally stimulated since an early age, so everyone believes it's innate. i do believe it is natural for many men. it has to begin somewhere, right? but it's so generalized and naturalized because it yields power over women. so it's convenient for them to turn it into the norm.
most scrote sexuality is so far removed from Nature at this point...