Comfort and dignity during OB/GYN appointments – What are your experiences and what would you do differently?

Dear sisters,

I recently talked about the details of OB/GYN appointments with my friends and was pretty surprised how different the details are even though we are all in the same country. I’m not necessarily talking about medical issues or differences in medical treatments themselves but the overall setup of the clinic, how the appointment goes, what happens when and where etc..

While talking, we noticed that even small details can have a really big impact on how comfortable we feel during the appointments. When we talk about women’s healthcare here on FDS we often focus on issues with the medical treatment itself, but less so on the overall setting, procedure and layout of everything. But I think these details especially reflect how seriously the comfort and dignity of female patients are taken … or – sadly – not taken. I’ll give a few examples of what makes me feel comfortable or uncomfortable during appointments with my OB-GYN to show you what I mean:

Comfortable:

-          All the staff are women. This is pretty obvious.

-          All the windows have blinds or curtains so nobody walking past can look into any room.

-          Every step is explained beforehand and you are given the chance to ask questions or refuse. It may sound stupid but telling me what she wants to do and why and explicitely saying „I would like do to X now for Y reason, are you comfortable with that?“ instead of „I’m going to do X now“ and just starting makes a world of a difference to me.

-          The dressing and undressing situation: My doctor never asks you to be completely naked, to undress in front of her or other staff or to walk to another room in any state of undress. Never. There is a changing cubicle in the exam room itself and after the initial talk about why you are there, the doctor asks you undress your lower body for the pelvic exam. If you are wearing a skirt or dress you can keep it on and just take off your panties. Then you do the pelvic exam, go back to the cubicle to put your panties and jeans on again and then undress only your upper body for the breast exam. Afterwards you have time to get fully dressed again before you say goodbye and leave. You never spend a minute longer naked than absolutely necessary. I was really suprised to hear that this isn’t the norm everywhere and you are seriously asked to walk to other rooms or wait covered with a sheet or flimsy paper dress.

-          The instruments and lubrication my doctor uses come from a warming drawer and she uses the smallest speculum whenever it’s possible

-          If you need an internal ultrasound you are allowed to insert the probe yourself while she looks away and tell her when you are ready.

-          The chair and treatment area is separated from the door with a screen, so even if someone opens the door for some reason nothing can be seen from the hallway.

Uncomfortable/What I would improve:

-          The waiting room setup: I wish there were separate waiting rooms for different types of patients so a woman having a miscarriage, abortion, injuries after getting assaulted or trouble conceiving doesn’t have to sit in a room full of happy pregnant women who have their boyfriends, husbands and other kids with them. The exclusively „happy pregnant women and chubby babies“ decor in many places can also be kind of weird. I would also limit the number of people patients can bring with them because sometimes half the waiting room is filled with men and kids and the actual patients don’t get a seat.

-          A more private way to fill out the patient intake form. It’s still a paper form where I am and filling out all those personal questions in a packed waiting room with people possibly looking over your shoulder is kind of embarrassing. The same goes for talking to the receptionist. I may not want to answer the very loud „And what are you here for today?“ question with everyone listening.

-          The whole urine sample situation: You are handed a cup with your name on it and without a lid(!) at the reception in front of everyone, go to the toilet and then you have to walk past everyone again while balancing your filled peepee cup (no lid, remember?). Kind of awkward and could be handled better.

-          I would love it if they provided some wet wipes or something to clean up the lube when you get dressed after the pelvic exam so you don’t get your underwear wet. Or even panty liners to use. You get paper towels to clean up after an ultrasound, so why not then?

So… long post, thank you for reading it. I would love to hear about your experiences where you are, what makes you feel comfortable/uncomfortable during medical appointments that is not strictly part of the medical treatment and what you would improve about the process if you could.