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Hi all.
I am just writing this to hear if anyone feels the same. Please comment if you have had similar thoughts and what you did about it.
(English is my third language so excuse my grammar).
When I found FDS 3 weeks ago I was so thrilled! I was happy I found a community of women, who were strong, smart and no-bullshit. Was so refreshing reading something that went straight to the point. I loved it. Still do. I read the handbook in a couple of days, I have also read more of the books in the list in the handbook. The ruthless approach, to cut to the core of the problem with men, was extremely good for me. It's like my anxiety and depression vanished in a week. I now feel better than I ever had.
But... now that the fog is lifted, everything looks different. Favorite tv-shows are not the same... full of male entitlement, moms who don't take care of themselves and their boundaries, and the show isn't even about that. I can't watch it anymore. It makes me sad and angry watching it. Also my social life is affected, friends who give me advise about being more open to men, smiling more, not being so negative, trusting mens intentions, and communicate 😳 Now I want to say, "Do you want me fail? And be taken advantage off? What kind of friend are you?". I feel many women in society is brainwashed regards to what women should endure and put up with, and that they should just smile when suffering.
I am sad for my friends who are in marriages, who are not happy, but they are in a deep fog, and conditioned since they were babies by their mom and dad, in what they should put up with. And they again teach their kids the same.... it becomes a cycle, we're women are sometime their own enemy. It's heartbreaking.
I get sad when single friends says they have meet a guy, he is awesome, but he is a student so she has to pay for the dates. They have now had sex and she hasn't heard from him, but he will call right? I am thinking in my head, he is that into her, and using her, that this could all have been avoided if the had some basic knowledge from FDS. It makes me sad again. Because I know he is not going to threat her the way she deserves. And she'll be heartbroken.
This whole awakening has gone from making me super thrilled and happy, to now making me feel a bit hopeless to be honest. I am afraid for my daughters future. Hopefully it's just a phase.
Just to be clear, this is in no way a critique against FDS. I believe that communities like FDS is extremely important for womens mental health, welfare, independence and overall survival in this fucked up world.
I relate to this a lot. I can't listen to most rap music anymore because the lyrics are so misogynistic. I think in the beginning I could ignore it, but the more I read up on FDS, the more this type of music disgusts me.
On Spotify I had an "empowered woman vibes" playlist recommended to me. Some of the songs were good, but many of them were glorifying casual sex, 'being a freak in bed to have a guy stay', and other liberal feminist tropes. It's tiring that even the things that are supposed to be empowering are pick me.
This is a fallen world. We’re surrounded by evil. Just be glad you can see it now and can take steps to counteract it. Tell your girlfriends about FDD. Make comments on how they deserve to be treated better, and leave it at that. Use hints and innuendo to slowly take the veil from other women’s eyes. If you see an abused woman on TV, make a comment on how the weakness of the husband turns you off. It’s a bit by bit, battle by battle war that we’re in, and most women don’t understand that they’re working with the evil and not against it. By accepting bad behavior and terms in relationships, they’re increasing the evil in this world and making it more successful. Set a good example by not letting any man or woman take advantage of you.
It’s been a few years since I found FDS, and yes, it completely changes how you view media, entertainment, dating, and the relationships of friends and family.
FDS breaks the rose colored glasses women are forced by society to wear since birth and helps us see reality. Sometimes reality is a horror show, sometimes it’s a comedy, but it’ll never be the same once you read the handbook.
A lot of things are better for me now, but making female friends has become harder because I can no longer overlook bad boyfriends and husbands and sometimes it feels like most women have one.
It’s part of the journey. There’s the high of validation as you realise you were never crazy/unrealistic then the crash as you realise that scrotes and pickme are everywhere. But then comes balance. Listen to the podcast and notice how much the hosts are laughing.
It's hard to wake up and see everyone around you still sleepwalking. You remember how you were one of them. There is a mourning period. The old world is gone, and now you're living in a new world of very harsh truth and reality. But it's the only way to live. You won't settle now. You will protect yourself. You'll encourage your friends to have higher standards. You'll build your worth outside of male validation. You'll hopefully align with others who are on the same journey. But it's also lonely and painful to see all the lies and propaganda and social conditioning.
Hard truth: Leveling up with your new eyes for life will make you incompatible with A LOT of people. But it will make you even more compatible with the :::right people:::! Quality > quantity.
I definitely relate especially when friends get excited about the most lvm possible...honestly let them handle the natural consequences of their actions.
We have all gone through this after the honeymoon period with fds is over. It's no different from the Matrix, taking the red pill or the blue pill. We all chose to take the red pill and to wake up, and now we can't go back to being asleep.
It is hard to wake up to this at first. But as someone who has been on her FDS journey for 3 years now, it does get easier. You find better shows or other more forms of media more rewarding. I still listen to the same music but I recognise that the lyrics aren’t that empowering. You may outgrow friends as you learn you can’t save everyone but then you also make friends with women with the same mindset as you. It takes time you find a way to live with this new knowledge, when you start to implement it, it is so rewarding.
It's hard to take the rose coloured glasses off. Reality/truth is bleak.
Nourish yourself.
I feel this deep in my soul. Being woke is terrible