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I live alone and don't have a car. Sometimes I need a man to do something like help me with carrying something heavy or doing something at home. I usually call my brother but he doesn't have a car either (we chose not to and sometimes we rent one).
I have some colleagues at work who became my friends since we go out together and talk almost everyday. They are colleagues so we developed a friendship.
I needed to go get an order in a store and I asked this male friend/colleague and I felt he didn't want to do it as if it was too much. He told me "oh but do I meet at the store or at work to go there"? (Everything is very close here so it would cost him NOTHING to come pick me up at home and he knows I don't have a car).
Anyways, I felt like even as friends most men are completely useless. They only want to spend time with you; talk to you about their bullshit but when you actually NEED them (which he should feel happy about, as I think he could be useful for something) they starting acting like favors are a burden.
These men are so lazy and not even care about "their friends".
I don't know if you have the same experience, but I'm in Europe and sometimes I notice this selfish Even greater behavior in men here. I can't even say I have male friends to help me when I need.
I wouldn't hesitate if those friend needed me for anything...
Male friendships are trash. They take, but never return the favor.
Never openly tell men anything because they'll go and make fun of you with their other male friends and even other female friends, which are usually pickmes. Also, they'll use it against you in an argument.
What exactly can a man give you in a friendship? Most male friendships are about waiting for their prey (women) to be open to a relationship or FWB. That's why I never bother to make friends with men.
And even if they do it, they are often whiny and in a bad mood the whole time to make you feel guilty for asking and won't ever stop bringing up the "favor" they did you and low-key expecting something in return.
A favor is something you do for a friend without expecting anything in return (Except common politeness and manners of course. Like offering drinks and snacks if someone is helping you move for free or something.) because you like them. Ruining the mood, whining and keeping score means it's not a favor but seen as transactional. Most men won't do anything for you just because they like you and you are their friend like we do for other women. They will always see it as either an investment into the future or a transaction in the present ("I do something for her" -> "She owes me something now or in the future") and will always get whiny if you don't hold up your end of their perceived bargain.
Men are not your friends. There ya go.
Men will never do husband shit for a woman who is not their wife or someone they are desperately lusting for.
This male friend/colleague sounds like a fair-weather friend to me. IMO you have 2 options with him, either end the friendship or just return his energy. If he's good fun to hang out with then you can continue to do so but don't do him any favours and don't spend any emotional labour on him e.g. listening to his problems. He won't do the same for you. I agree with you about male friends though, that's why I don't really bother with them.
The character of a man is determined by how well he treats others. The men in my family are givers. My dad is the kinda guy who heard I popped my bike tire and drove over to fix it for me. My bil is the kinda guy to take my car to get fill up my gas tank cuz he’s nice like that. My uncle is the kinda guy to help a friend move or do home renos. Literally I had male acquaintances help me move and wanted nothing in return for it.
If you’re gonna keep men around you it’s best they are the generous kind. And the generous kind are nice and friendly and helpful to everyone. If he isn’t nice enough to help out then I’d nix him as a friend.
Is he in a relationship?