Update on my other friend pt2

A while back, I made this post about this friend using me for her birthday with the babysitting, and decorating the venue. Obviously, I distanced myself and she noticed and asked me why I don’t hangout with her anymore. I told her that I don’t want to bother her because she has two kids, and it’s tough. She said we could still hang out if her kids come along, and I agree. We set a date next week to go to the beach. It seems like how she doesn’t like how I’m so busy. She’s a sahm, and as for me, I wfh, and my current summer job allows me flexibility. I keep reminding them and asking if they’re still down, but they keep saying that they have to move stuff around blah blah blah. Mind you, this plan is in the middle of the week, so I’m highly sure that it’s not gonna happen.

I get a call from her on the weekend, and she planned this “surprise” hangout for me and wants me drop whatever it is I’m doing. I was in the middle of grocery shopping, so I had to go pay and go straight home, no makeup, and no cute outfit. I literally had to leave as they were outside of my house.

Anyways, guess what the surprise was? They had to run errands too and took me to the mall that was next to the grocery store. I think they just needed an extra hand. I didn’t do anything fun, but to them, I guess it was their idea of fun. I’m am so hungry at the end, and I want a snack, and her husband is trying to control what I eat, but idc I’m buying it. It was the only highlight of my day. I’m thinking to myself, bruh I had to drop everything for this?

What disturbs me is that her husband playfully accuses me of trying to brainwash their toddler into a feminist because I gave her a children’s book called, “101 Female Figures in History”. I thought what I did was a good thing, because these are role models that she should look up to. What he said pissed me off, but I didn’t want to get into it. He said that children should remain children. In addition, women should not act like men, because women and men each have their own role to play in society. I don’t think our interests align anymore.

I talked to my mom and she thinks I should stop hanging out with them after what he said. She also feels bad for his daughter because she’s gonna grow up in that oppressive household.

Also, I told my parents that I think they’re going to go MIA this week for the beach hangout that they wanted, and my parents have stepped up and are now taking me to the beach.

I’m upset. What kind of friend reduces you to their nanny? Like, she’s using me for my time, and her husband is controlling.

Update: Another thing she said that was disturbing. She needed new bras and I wanted to get some too cuz why not 🤷🏻‍♀️. I told her I’m into seamless nude bras which kind of look like sports bras and I talk about how versatile and comfy there are because they’re discreet and comfy at the same time. Some of them are even convertible and have “push-up” as well. She looked at the kind I was wearing and said that she gets it. What I’m wearing is really comfy but I’m not married nor do I have kids so I won’t understand. If she wore something similar, her husband would ask her if she’s wearing a nursing bra?! She needs to wear sexier styles (which are probably uncomfortable) to keep the marriage alive. She once told me that her husband expects her to dress up nicely with makeup and full glam when get home from work and have dinner on the table. Someone clue me in because I really don’t get it now. What don’t I understand?

They were never really like this in the past. I don’t understand how it got this far. It’s like I woke up one day and my friends are totally different people overnight. it pains me to say that she’s dressing for the male gaze, despite the fact that it’s for her husband.

I spoke to my mom about this and my mom was like wtf? My mother told me that she wears her pjs around the house and my dad loves her same. In fact, I remember my grandma wearing a moomoo (baggy night dress) around the house rearing her grandchildren and my grandpa still found my grandma attractive.

This is so uncool. I’m going to slowly dip out of their life.