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Incoming rant
I made a post about this flaky friend a while back. In short, I was really hurt when she offered to train with me for a marathon, but then kept making up a string of excuses and ultimately completed the marathon herself and posted it on social media. She tried to remedy the situation by telling me that she went without me but there will be other opportunities, and offered a half assed tea party ( but she had to check her schedule) . Anyways, after a string of cancellations on her end, my mother pointed it out that she’s a “fake friend”, along with another. This resulted in me making a post to really consider my friendships in my 30’s.
I’ve asked my mother why she doesn’t make time for me anymore. My mothers tells me that she doesn’t view me as her first option when it comes to hanging out. She will make plans with, but when a better offer arises, she’ll cancel last minute. Another reason was that, my mother has seen her in person, my mother speculates that the girl doesn’t want to be around me because of how I carry myself. For example, whenever I go out, I always make an effort to dress up, and she’s said that often has to put in effort in her appearances to see me. I have often expressed that I’d like to get know better and meet her SO, while all her other friends have met him. My mother explained that someone are protective of their man, and it’s probably the reason why. To extent, idk if what my mother is true. I just wanted to be her friend and get to know her better, but I feel like she’s pulling away.
Last month, she sent pictures of her haul, which is something we do lol We understand eachother to not judge on our expenditures…especially when we’re both working full time. It was a cute moment.
Recently, I expressed interest in going to an observatory for stargazing. She also expressed her interest and i extended my invitation. She immediately said she was busy, and offered to go jogging with me this weekend, but she’d have to check her schedule 🥴. I am annoyed at this behaviour, so I just declined and said I was busy. I will be going stargazing by myself.
This friendship will be on an indefinite hold, due to her inconsistencies. Clearly she doesn’t value my friendship with her. She has canceled on me two times last minute. Enough is enough.
I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that you're doing something to "make" your friend treat you this way. Some people are just flaky and they're often like that with everyone. IMO most flaky people behave the way they do because they're inconsiderate and selfish. IMO flaking is extremely low value behaviour and I usually just cut out flaky people rather than wasting time wondering why they behave this way.
Why are you spending so much time thinking about someone who doesn’t bring you joy?
When I moved to where I live now, some of the initial friendships I made that I thought would grow solid fizzled out and even “broke up with me” in what k thought was a rude way. Now in hindsight compared to my actual friends in the area I find those women uninteresting and dull compared to my friends who adore me and keep wanting to spend time with me. When we are together we laugh a lot and have amazing experiences. I feel so loved, they even know my quirks and often share how much they enjoy my company, and tell me of things that reminded them of me often. That’s who I invest in and that’s who invests in me.
Darn if I could only follow this advice when it comes to dating 😂
Your mother is telling you the truth; she’s intimidated by and jealous of you. This is a classic case of a jealous “friend”. I’ve had my fair share of such “friends” who aren’t friends in any way.
Everyone is different. Some people that are intimidated by you will stick to you like glue, to know your every move. They will hate you for every bit of progress you make but be addicted to always knowing what you’re up to to see if they can copy you or one-up you, while other intimidated people will keep away from you entirely because every time they’re in your presence, they feel bad about themselves because you’re a constant reminder of what they’re not. This friend you speak of is in this camp. She’s not your friend so know that you haven’t a lost anyone important.