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As my title stated, I'm what holds my small family together (mom, younger sister, and dog). I don’t even know where to start with unfurling myself from the mess that is my family. My mother has no money saved for retirement (spent it on a house that she can barely afford the mortgage). Debts up to 20K and still growing.She has healthy issues that she refuses to take care of herself (diabetes, heart, edema, untreated mentally trauma). She reallyshould be on disability but doesnt qualify due to my dad's military benefits.She has her scrote bf live with use and he does nothing but order her around like a slave.
My sister is in college (20) She has depression and refuses to take her medication for it or see her doctor. So it has gotten to the point bad she doesn't go to school, work for days. But she spent all day with her phone glued to her while she talks to her scrote boyfriend (long distance)who she claims lives her and sends her money( its the other way around) My sister is just so unhelpful with bills and when she gets money she spends it on herself.
Meanwhile I'm working two-three jobs and I can't scrape up a penny to get my dreams off the floor(fix up my grandma's house, opening my own tutoring business, and traveling).I was a teacher but had to leave due to salary. I'm exhausted and just frustrated at how they expected me to do everything.All the years I have wasted and it's like they gave up on life. I want to know something other than struggle. I'm this close to sell everything and just getting on a plane somewhere far away. And I hate myself for it.
That's awful...
My sister was kind of the same way with me and our mom. Everything was already over while she was trying to pump life into everything.
She now has a fantastic life where she prioritizes herself. I hate to say this, but apply scrote logic to your family. If they're treating you like it's your job to self-sacrifice, then that's how they view you.
Maybe slowly disengage and hopefully they pick up some slack.
As the saying goes, you can’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm. I would start looking for a way out. You’re keeping them a float and helping them while they continue making bad decisions and dragging you down. Who’s helping you? Nobody is coming to save you from a life you’re unhappy with. Only you can change it. I sympathize with your situation. I’m sorry that it’s your family and it’s painful to think about leaving them. However you need to put yourself first cause you’re the only one capable of doing it. Do you really want to still be in this mess years from now, thinking back on today when you could have left? In 2, 5, 10 years time, where do you want to be? What do you want your life to look like? You need to take action now and set up future you’s success.
Your family is most certainly going to lash out, call you names, tell you you’re abandoning them, what will we do for money etc etc. it will hurt you but you need to stand strong and do not yield. Tell them they are adults and they need to figure their lives out just as you are doing. Be prepared not to talk to them for a while. If they continue to be toxic, as hard as it is to cut them off, sometimes it’s for the best.
You have a teaching degree? You can work anywhere. You can tutor on the go. Depending on your birth country, you can get working visas to travel and work abroad. Look into TEFL, I believe it stands for Teaching English as Foreign Language (could be wrong) but there are dozens of countries you could live in for short or long periods of time.
You got this!