To test this feature, visit your live site.

The three colours of friendship

Just saw this video and thought it might be insightful for my fellow FDSers. I've been struggling with friendships for a while now. Some people have left me, I have left others. I don't really mnd being alone most of the time, but there are occasions when I miss having someone to talk to besides my therapist once a week. I think this video showed me I used to have too many yellow and orange friends, very few green ones. Now I have only orange friends. Now the question is: how exactly do I make green friends? She says you should be yourself in an unapologetic way, but I'm not sure about that... What do you think?

6 answers0 replies

Comments (6)

Tris Canna

May 03

I don't agree with the video. There won't be anybody that could fit us 100%. Friends will disagree at some point and won't be able to cheer you on until death do you part because they disagree with your view, but they still makes good friends. The differences make socializing more interesting because you get new perspective by having your mindset challenged. Healthy people don't live in an echo chamber.

Heck, sometimes we don't like a part or two of ourselves, don't expect people to love everything about us.

A friend who'd care for you, admire you, witnessing your craziest most embarrassing sides and still unconditionally love you for who you are, and cheer you on as long as they live... the best chance to get one is by getting a dog. Serious.

Edited

Unknown member

May 04

Replying to

what you say makes sense... i think the creator is trying to simplify things for the audiance. we know things aren't so straight forward.

about 'green friends', i do miss having conversations with people who just agree with me or who will agree to disagree without trying to win a discussion (because i'm the type of person who prefers conversations instead of deabte). i know it sounds bad, like i can't live with people who think differently... i'm just tired of female friends who are pick mes and male friends who are scrotes. i feel very isolated.

Tris Canna

May 04

Replying to

I know things are nuanced, but I chose to respond to what she said. She decided which things to leave out and things to include when she made the video and she left out something important that R.i.ce.queen mentioned in her comment: "can maintain healthy boundaries and appreciate/support you even if your values differ (e.g. in religion or culture)"

Another great point is that unapologetically yourself means your very best high value self, which also wasn't mentioned by the creator.

I find compartmentalizing my friends is a healthy way to fulfilling friendships. Some of my friends are unapologetically religious (I'm agnostic) but they're awesome to travel with, we just agree to disagree about religion and don't talk about it. I talk about religion with someone else. I have friends for art/gaming/movie/sports and we stay friends because we agree on this one thing even if we disagree about everything else. There's limit to my tolerance, of course, like I won't be friends with people who staunchly support prostitution and porn.

Finding someone who agree with you on dating is definitely harder to find. The only woman who shares FDS values in my life is my mom lmao. Thankfully movements like Korean 4B is gaining traction, so women like us are out there.

And, we all know you're more likely to find a friend in some random bear than men.

Edited

R.ice.queen

May 03

•

I managed to curate green friendships after culling the yellow ones. You obtain green friends by being your authentic (high value) self. I agree with the other commenter that it’s never a good thing to live in an echo chamber, but green friends can maintain healthy boundaries and appreciate/support you even if your values differ (e.g. in religion or culture). These friends don’t project or shove their views onto another, rather they simply live their authentic selves which in turn might inspire new ideas and values to others.

However, orange friends are draining thus better as “colleagues” not friends per se. I think orange friends “clash” and frustrate you because they push their views onto you and often put you on the defensive, whereas green friends accept and respect. Orange people can be useful in times you need challenge and competition, such as in college, the workplace or competitive sport (this is the case for me). I appreciate their ability to challenge me and reaffirm my values but I wouldn’t go inviting them to my birthday party!

Edited

Unknown member

May 04

Replying to

i miss green friends hahah i currently have mostly orange friends who i don't talk to that much. and everytime i think i1ve found someone who might become a green friend, i end up finding out they are just being too kind, or are straight up phony.

i wonder of i'm the one who has become too stubborn to make real friends.

Unimpressed 🤷🏼‍♀

May 04

Replying to

The world we live in has become a breeding ground for inauthenticity. Social media promotes the means for people to pick and choose which parts of their lives others can see and portray them as. Filters and photoshop change the way we perceive others' physical bodies. Scrotes watch porn and are brainwashed into thinking that is what real sex is like. Don't get me started on the AI takeover...

Point is, it's not you, it's simply the state of the world. People have become so much more self-absorbed and have lost the ability to make authentic connections in real life.

The three colours of friendship

Subscribe for FDS exclusives!

Terms & Conditions

About