So my mom unfollowed me on Instagram

I remember your previous posts about your mother. She definately sounds like a pick me who thinks that a woman is nothing if she doesn't have a husband. My mother is the same way. I've learned from experience that it's incredibly unlikely that she'll ever change her ways. Her ways are too ingrained at this point. What works for me is keeping my mother on an information diet. I try to keep our conversations to small talk and if she starts hassling me about dating or anything else, I just say something like "Gee, is that the time? I have to go" and then I just leave. She does seem to be getting the message because she's been pestering me a lot less lately. (Either that or she thinks that because I'm over 40, that I'm a lost cause).

In one sense it might be for the best that your mother unfollowed you. The less she knows about your life the better. Though I do appreciate that her texts are upsetting and you have every right to be upset. For example, it was unkind of her to accuse you of not dating when you went speed dating. (I remember you posting about it). I don't mean this in a nasty way, but I think you need to accept that your mother is never going to be the mother you want. I say this as someone who had to accept the exact same thing. Accepting that my mother was never going to love me unconditionally and that her love was 100% dependent on me living my life on her terms was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. However once I accepted this and reduced my expectations of her, I was a lot happier.

So... good riddance then?? Why do you want your mom to follow you on Instagram anyway? I think this is a blessing in disguise. I checked some of your comments and saw that you live with her, so it's extremely important that you have these little private places at least online where you can vent and post silly memes and whatnot, without your mom present. Privacy is crucial.

I also think it's extremely creepy and disturbing that she's THAT invested in your romantic life. Google grey rocking and start practicing beforehand some vague and short answers that will shut her up. You need to put her on info diet asap. It's also possible that even if you started seeing someone she'd still be unhappy and find something to complain about. "When are you getting engagd? Why aren't you married yet? When will I get grankids?" You know. Think about that. Your mom sounds exhausting. Wishing you strength, wisdom and all the best <3

I would distance myself from her. Pickme mothers are so damaging on so many levels.

I'm personally NC with mine as she is also a raging abusive narcissist

I would totally distance yourself from her, she claims to be the arbiter of heterosexual love yet she can't sympathize with her own daughter on shitty men.

I read your previous posts too, she has the exact personality of my grandmother, like every time I finally have something figured out she's like "NO, MEN GOOD" proceeds to be abused and ignored by men.

I would make it your ultimate goal to escape and your anger should be your ultimate motivation. I'm so politically savvy that I'd voluntarily start couch hopping just to avoid these types of women, because they take your money and time while praising distant males.

I know that housing is HARD right now....but it sounds like it would be very good for your mental health to start making slow but deliberate steps to getting out of that space. Even if you need a few female roommates. I see that you've been looking for a job, have you been getting interviews? What can be learned from how said interviews went? Are you only looking in one industry or can you diversify a bit? COULD you be paired with more pick-me's, possibly....but pick me peers are easier to roll your eyes at than pick me mothers.

My mom isn't this extreme but I have noticed she has started deleting my messages anytime I've texted her, and I text her harmless, funny things. Mind you I am 30 and also have strong opinions about how awful men are. She of course hears me.

Sadly our moms are lost in the pickme sauce. My mom thinks my scrote, broke brothers are god's gift to this earth.

My mom isn't that extreme… but I know that vibe very well. My parents both never really understood me and they probably never will. I know it's hard to escape their judgment, but keep on setting firm boundaries and not explaining yourself. Fights with my mom is the nr. 1 thing that still triggers me the most, I immediately choke up and get tears in my eyes. Knowing that I'll have this emotional reaction makes me avoid conflict and confrontation in the first place, it's better that way. Many parent-child relationships benefit from distance.

That's such a horrible thing to say to you. Hypothetical men mean more to her than your feelings? I never understand why parents care so much about their children's love lives anyway. What if you happened to be asexual, then what? It's sad that a lot of mothers are like this. I'm sorry op :(

That's why I limit my social media. Don't follow mom or dad, and the blood relations that do follow me on FB are thrown on the 'restricted' list I created years ago. I also don't post super political stuff, only lightly edgy and I've stopped that too lately.

I suggest keeping your main account light and fluffy, and use a burner account for shit posting. In reality people don't need to see what you had for breakfast NOR your politics.

I'll be the outlier here- social media like insta tied to your real life is not for venting about men. It's not HV behavior imo. And at 34 you could be less worried about your mom and sharing your opinions and more invested in your financial independence and personal goals. Are you in therapy?

Why is she so obsessed about you never dating?!

This is just craziness!

Not me thinking the ad was part of the covo

It’s almost as if women need stunt dates. “Dates” with men who look like a real date but they just fill the image piece needed to keep relatives off our back temporarily while we get ourselves together.

Random unrelated question but is that an ad at the bottom of your text threads?

Let it go..