Should I just be really blunt with my friend?

RANT

I am at my breaking point with her. She’s been treating me like a nanny. I have had enough.

I think it started in May when she asked me to come earlier to help decorate her daughter’s birthday party and I declined and came on time. Eversince then, both are just really controlling whenever we hangout.

We agreed to join her husband’s and my birthday party along with Christmas together because we’re one day a part from eachother this Saturday.

They keep insisting on picking me up and shoving me in the back with their toddler kids and I honestly feel like a nanny. The last time they asked me to hangout, they tried to make me hangout with them at a toddlers jungle gym on a Friday night. A FRIDAY NIGHT of all things, especially after pay day. They tried guilting me for not partaking their Friday night activities.

Yeah, I’m not having it on my birthday. I get migraines from sitting in the backseat with their kids and I feel like I have no freedom to leave and do whatever I please.

I feel so annoyed rn. I’m have been dropping out ideas that would suit their kid’s dietary needs and activities everyone could do. Granted, I may not know the full situation, but they said they have things figured out. It’s Thursday night, and they text me asking me talk about Saturday’s plans since her husband was supposed to plan something, but now he doesn’t know what to do. I’m frustrated because he did say some of the things I thought of were good ideas. She asked if she could talk to me at 8 tonight and I’m like, I have yoga lessons and then I’m gonna go grocery shopping for tmr so I won’t get back until really late like 11pm. She agreed to it. I’m like texting them, and calling them. Bruh…

I began to reflect on why they want me in their car. Their argument was how it would benefit me by saving gas, and they could talk to me more. I told them I like being in my car, I like listening to my radio. I don’t mind wasting gas. I like being in control. I didn’t want to offend them and say that I feel like a nanny and being stuck in their car gives me a migraine, but I’m really considering telling them the truth and offending them. They haven’t been answering or replying to my messages. I told them that they need to let me know by Friday night and send me the address and time, and that it’s okay if they want to meet me at another time and exchange gifts once they figure it all out.

Update: I had a mild outburst over WhatsApp last night after staying up close to 1am to hear back from them. They got back to me in the morning just before work. They offered this arcade for their kids, followed by warehouse shopping (they’re in a different income bracket then me), and we have no idea about food. I’m not really looking forward to this, but it is a gesture/effort on their end I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️.

But like, from reading these comments, it seems not going is an option. Honestly, I kind of don’t want to spend my birthday like this. It seems as though these plans suit them more than me. I was thinking of going for a little bit and then leaving mid way, but now, I don’t want to go at all.

I talked to my parents and they’re like telling me that it’s okay and to just go with the flow, and that they’re trying their best.

I’m thinking of just telling them that I can’t make it even though I said yes a few hours earlier.

Update 2: I just sent them the text. I realized that activities they offered were more about them and what they wanted to do. I had no input in these ideas and it seemed like they already came up with these ideas weeks beforehand since they kept throwing these ideas at me before and I kept saying no.

I bought them their gifts. If anything, I could just return them, or keep them idk and idc.