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Brava to one of my far flung besties who revealed to me she was in a secret situationship for 5 years (!!!) with a scrotie. 😭😭 She was reluctant to tell me about it bc she knew I would get terse and say Dump, Block, Delete & GHOST!! (She knows me too well. 😘)
How TF did she volunteer to get strung along for all these years, you ask? She thought they had a "great bond" and she reluctantly called it a "friendship." They had a big blowout 1.5 years ago when she called him out on his flakiness. In a time of her weakness they reconnected a few months ago after over a year of no contact. (Nooooo!! Never break NC!!! 🤬) He texted he "looked forward to seeing her and talking, but had a lot going on and would reach out in a few months, maybe end of fall." She sent a few messages in between, her 2nd to last was left on delivered. She mentioned meeting again and he waited weeks to respond pushing it to “maybe the end of the year.” 🤡🤡🤡
Then a few more text messages 🙄🙄🙄and then “maybe February?” and “Hope to see you soon!” She called out his pattern and that he was avoiding her again. (Should have just blocked & deleted way before all of this nonsense obv.) Then he moved it to January. 😵💫😵💫😵💫 Finally she had enough and told him she was done. Like DONE DONE. She wasn't ever going to go through this on/off textuationship BS again, and if he’d really loved her and/or cared he would be running to her to resolve things. He went silent. She sent a few more messages 🥴🥴🥴 and realized she was trying to convince him of her worth and… she just stopped. The heavens parted and her basic sense of self-respect happened!!! She blocked him for the first time since they met 5 years ago, and then called me to reveal this. Fucking HOORAY! I love when women figure this shit out and block!! 🥳✌️
When I pressed her as to what finally broke the intermittent reinforcement spell he pulled off here, it was her realization that it was his potential that she held on to, but that in half a decade that alleged “potential” never materialized. He had fake opened his soul to her, and it was all a game. Reminds me of the adage: “Women might fake an orgasm, but men will fake an entire relationship.” Raising my glass to her today. May this be a big year of leveling up!!
Very happy for your friend. Unfortunately nothing anyone says will ever change anyone else’s mind. We all have to go through this realization alone. Definitely take her out to dinner or get her a drink! Celebrate her. This internet sister certainly is :)
I met my first boyfriend at 16, it was a highly toxic, unhealthy, on again off again, constant fighting, constant negativity. Put up with that shit until I was 20 years old!!! Put up with being "friends" for another year until I finally finally came to the realization that he wasn't worth shit and I deserved so much more. I would literally cry to my friends about whatever fight we had, at least a few times a week. And they were saints and just sympathized with me and listened to me. For. 5. Years. Absolutely don't know how they did it.