.png)
The long story short of it is that me, my brother and my dad were spending the day in the city yesterday. At some point we go into a building with an artsy shop in the faciility and we go use the restrooms. I go into the ladies room. While I am still sitting on the toilet, i thought I hear two people come in---a woman and a man laughing and talking to each other. The voices sounded creepy as shit though and a men is inside? I got annoyed and try to hurry and finish. I keep hearing the man's voice though; i don't know what he was even saying. I just remember the voice sounded slimy and it was just sending shivers up my back.
Then suddenly it gets quiet and I hear the man start laughing to himself. I was too scared to leave the stall at first though. I wanted to call my dad or brother but i didn't want to hear whoever was in the stall next to me to hear me. I thought about texting them but my dad is notorious for not checking texts and my brother was facetiming his fiance and he NEVER replies to me while he is talking to her.
So fuck it. I need to get a grip and get out of here. I suck it up and open the stall to dash out. When I do, I see the stall door is open and there's this ugly looking man with a huge potbelly facing the toilet with his dong out. I could have sworn there was a woman in here also but there wasn't. I rush out of the bathroom and to my brother and tell him what happened. I was freaked out because the guy sounded absolutely mental and I was afraid of possibly getting attacked if he saw me. My brother then proceeded to make some stupid joke about how that guy probably identifies as female. I snap at him saying it wasn't funny. He rolls his eyes and tells his fiance that I was scared because of some guy in the bathroom.
I told my mom about it this morning and she was dismissive of it saying that gay people are harmless (uh, hello I never mentioned someones sexuality or being trans, this was a straight up dude) and when she mentioned it to my brother she just said that next time maybe just stand near the door to the restroom to make sure nothing happens to me since apparently a man, "and at this point we don't know if it was actually a man or not", she says, laughing, since apparently i am a bozo who can't tell between men and women, went into the bathroom with me.
I am so tired of not being believed about anything. You know, I have been living my whole life being honest because I don't like lying. I hate lying and I can't people who lie either. But I am ALWAYS met with so much skepticisim over everything I say. I could literally pull articles that prove my point correct but they still won't believe me.
And what would I even get out of "lying" or overexaggerating this situation? Attention and sympathy? Oh how horrible.
Wow. I did not want to wrtite so much but this is really bothering me. But you know what, I'm not perfect and maybe I should be set straight, so what do you all think?
You are not overreacting. My father would have definitely reached out to a security guard and my brother would've probably went into the bathroom and thrown that man out. I'm sorry your family members are not supportive.
You are not over reacting. You felt threatened and feared for your safety because you head a man in a woman’s washroom which is supposed to be a safe space for you. I do not blame you and it’s absolutely right to feel this way. I would feel uncomfortable if a man was in the washroom I’m using as well. Also with trans these days, you can’t even tell people apart sometimes. It’s so weird.
You’re not overreacting. I don’t give a shit how he identifies-men shouldn’t be in women’s restrooms. If something like this happens again, I’d get the building security (if there is any) or call the police. Men should be AFRAID to invade women’s spaces.
This is the result of liberal feminism enabling mentally ill degenerate men. Women's voices will go unheard, ignored, of dismissed in favor of men, no matter how they identify. I'm so so sorry this happened. You have EVERY right to feel angry and afraid. Shame on your family, I bet if it happened to them they wouldn't be singing the same tune
That is terrifying!! I’m glad you trusted your gut and got the hell out of there. That disgusting scrote was clearly up to no good. Your instinct was warning you for a reason. Your family's lack of support does not invalid your feelings. You are not being irrational.
You're not overreacting and I think it's disgraceful that your family care more about the feelings of some rando than they do about you and your safety OP.
You’re not overreacting, and the last few lines where you explain/justify and doubt yourself completely? Don’t do this to yourself! You're a woman, our bodies naturally tell us where we're safe or not.
Hold your own, trust your body/feelings/thoughts. You were a woman in a bathroom (vulnerable place), where a MALE violated the space. You were scared/freaked out/threatened. Your family were unsupportive.
Trust exactly what you've told us.
You don’t need your family to justify YOUR emotional truth.
The best thing I find with family like this (mine are similar) is that instead of telling them what happened, for any emotional validation or support, tell them exactly what you need (practically, so maybe with your brother something like we need to leave here ASAP. Or your Mum, I need a hug I don't want to talk about it, but I'm not feeling good after something happened) and then tell other people in your life (friends you know that are safe, FDS) for emotional validation. They will confirm/reaffirm you, safely, so you’re okay emotionally.
Family like this just invalidate further, and make it harder to trust your intuition.
And this is what happens when you give permission to males to enter female safe spaces.
Your family - and pretty much all abusive families of origin - sound like “Power Over” kinds of people, as explained in Patricia Evans’ book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship." Her book was a total eye-opener for me. Anyway, one of the tactics Evans’ book describes is “Countering.” No matter what you say or do, Power Over types will not affirm you. They will require proof of clearly obvious things you claim. If you like a thing, they devalue it basically, sometimes quite subtly (ignoring you). Just consistently countering whatever it is you like, need, want, value, just to exert Power Over you. I’m sorry they suck. These types don't change.
Trans"women"☕️
Who the fuck cares how a man identifies? I dont want a man in the ladies room if he identifies as trans or not. A man is a man. It makes no difference.
Whats important is that a man who pushes his way into the ladies room is a man who doesnt respect women and who is more likely than the average man to be a sexual deviant. We're safer around men who dont iDeNtiFy their way into women's vulnerable, intimate spaces.
Uh oh, did I just say, in a round about way, that tranz-identifying men are scarier and more dangerous perverts than other men? Oops! We're not supposed to tell the truth about that. Sorry sorry.
Your family are jackasses.