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So there was a time in my life where I was going to a lot of group hangouts and parties but I still felt really lonely. I couldn't understand why, and then I realized it was probably because I prefer one-on-one hangouts. So when I would just get coffee or lunch with one other person or I would have a long phone call with a friend I would feel much better than I would if I went to a party. I also realized I prefer friends who can meet more regularly rather than those I have to wait for months to see again. I know some people would prefer less frequent hangouts of higher quality (like doing something really fun together when you do meet like going to a museum or aquarium or something) instead of more frequent hangouts that are more "low effort" (getting coffee, walking around in the park, etc.) but I really need to see people more frequently.
I am a really busy person and so are most of my friends, which sucks. I can barely see them cause either I have something to do or they do. It's honestly a struggle just to schedule a one-hour phone call at a time when we both are available. It really sucks and I can't just change my schedule for them, so I have to deal with being really lonely and socially isolated most of the time. My friends travel a lot too so sometimes they are in different countries when I am finally free to meet.
I also don't really like being around people who I can't trust to talk about stuff like mental health or deeper topics. I don't like small talk.
Do I just have to lower my standards to avoid being lonely and kind of just suck it up and go to parties and make small talk? Or do I need to work on being more independent and not relying on others?
I tend to do one on one kind of hangouts. That being said, I don’t mind group hangouts, but the only catch is that I get quieter. People think I’m angry but that is just how it is with me. I like to observe and listen during group settings there’s nothing wrong with me I’m happy as a clam.