I don't really see the point in having friends

I think extremely introverted people may feel what you feel. As an introvert, I relate to your sentiment that most of the time, the energy and time required to maintain friendships is too much if you truly want to be alone your entire life. It's just not a good ROI.

As an introvert, I feel like I can accomplish more of my goals and live life in a way that's more satisfactory for me if I am alone and in a quiet place most of the time. Yes, I do enjoy in-person social stimuation once in a while, but I've noticed my desire is minimal compared to the desire of most people I've met.

Extroverts or those accustomed to having people around all the time may find it harder to relate to your post.

I always notice ppl that I allow to come close will cross my boundaries, they either talk crap and when we are face to face they are nice and when I know they talked crap they pretend to be puzzled when I become short with them.

When I keep people at arms length I never see a bad side of them and I like to keep it that way.

I myself am struggling with this too. Like decentering men, a part of me wants to let go of the heartbreak I experience when I try to center women and make meaningful friendships. The woman I once called my best friend has become distant to me and and shows me time and time again that she doesn't see me as a priority. Hell, she even canceled plans to see me for my birthday this weekend because something else came up. Meanwhile, I went all the way to Paris with her for her 40th this past June.

But we can't abandon society and become haggard mountain women (let the men do that).

We need community and socializing to survive. We just do. I'm going to experiment with putting myself in social situations, but not aiming to make friends out of it. Some examples are my twice weekly dance classes. Another is local concerts at my favorite venues. Another is just showing up at events that align with my interests.

Try doing that too. Go to social events for no one other than YOU. Chat with people and keep your expectations low. Keep people at a distance for now. But do not retreat from society, no matter how tempting.

It sounds like you may need to see if you potentially have depression or some unworked out traumas. I've been isolating myself for the same reasons. But, honestly when taking an honest look at myself, I have ZERO boundaries! And this trait attracts the worst people.

Id suggest journaling (specifically shadow work. That's jungisn pop psyche thing but it's very helpful) and learn about why you have trouble connecting with others. Then starting a plan to fix it. You got this ❤️

Give it a rest, Eeyore. How many "woe is me" posts are you going to paper this place with? On the VERY off chance you aren't actually a troll trying to suck people in in an attempt to make this place look ridiculous---all this maudlin navel-gazing is really something to share with a therapist.

I think that friends in theory are very important in life, but in practice they are harder to find. But there may be times where we need a friend, and then we realize we have no one to contact. I get tired of the friends to whom I may contact when I need moral support about something and the only thing they seem to say is "I'll pray." I just want to write them off. I don't mind if you pray, but I mind if that's the only thing you seem to say.

Sounds like you have been hurt too many times. I have gone the way you've planning to go and it's not good. It doesn't really make you feel better. We are a social species . You might need less interaction than most, but you cannot live with zero interaction. You also can't live running from hurt and disappointment either. Life is disappointment. It's better to live and be disappointed (but avoid deluding yourself in the first piace), rather than not live at all. Disappointment doesn't only come from men and friends. You need to find a way to live through it, in a fullfilling way. And I say this as someone who is cronically disapponted (by others, society, myself, my body). I'm not giving you any advice I wouldn't give myself. There is no such thing as a "self" that's insulated from our environment. You need to figure this out (possibly with some help) or you will get unhealthy. People who truly want to lead an insulated life just pack their stuff and seal themselves in a monastery. They don't ask on the internet on how to decenter friends. You're speking from a broken heart, not empowerment.

Since humans are inherently disappointing, please accept this floof parade gift.

As someone who never really had any friends, I can't honestly relate. I don't know about you, but in general humans are social creatures and being completely alone all the time most likely would weigh one down in the long run. I always wanted just one friend to hang out with but I never fully achieved that, Though I agree with the notion that socialization takes up a ton of time, when that time can be used to improve oneself. As a guitar player I actually kind of have a dream to join an all-female band, where I have friends that I can do my hobby with. Nowadays though that seems kind of impossible.

It's pretty difficult for ambiverts, when we don't always want to be around people but alone time can also seem bad.

Girl, give it a rest. You don't listen to anything anyone says.

You get advice constantly and everyone is so nice to you on here.

Maybe make posts that contribute to what fds is all about. We aren't your Therapists and we're not here to coddle you.

I'm starting to see why you have trouble making friends and keeping them around. It's not because yours ugly. (Like you've mentioned) That's for sure

Honestly my female friends are among the best women and support system I have! I’m so grateful and lucky for them. I think you need to evaluate your life and heal yourself. I refuse to think that there are not good people in this world. Whatever energy and thoughts you put out there will happen. It’s the energy you put out in the world

Do you have an emotional disorder you haven't shared with us?