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I feel like I've lost all my social/small talk skills since the pandemic. Been working from home since 2020 and don't have much free time (getting divorced + full time custody of my young kids).
I want to make friends espcially with other moms but I don't know how to get started. I invited a woman I met at my kid's daycare out and she spent most of the time on her phone. I want to do small talk and be more friendly than just saying hi and smiling at other women at the playground or school, but I always freeze up and don't know what to say. I think other women are the same way, most people just stick to themselves and their kids. I know women are lonely and I think I make a great friend but I really struggle to strike up conversations with strangers.
What do you recommend? What do you ask/say/do that gives off the "let's be friends" vibe?
I’ve had good luck (since I moved recently) with women’s meetup groups and volunteer organizations.
I’m in a women’s hiking group and that’s been good because no one is hiking and on their phone. You kinda have to talk. And I think the fact that it’s an outdoorsy activity self selects a group of people who want to be more present in life than just phones and bars.
Also with volunteer orgs, there’s activities built in rather than just sitting around. And lots of volunteer orgs work together so you’ll end up with even more opportunities to meet people. Plus it’s a fulfilling activity.
I don’t have kids but at least where I live most of the other members are late 20s to 40s and have kids of all the ages.
I think the most effective way to make friends is to engage in an organised activity on a regular basis. Any intensive course I've ever done, I've always made friends because we're forced to get to know each other. Because you have kids you might not have time for anything intensive, but doing something where you meet the same women regularly (and where they're less likely to look at their phone!) is the go. If you're creative, a class in mosaic or woodwork; or if you're active, a regular gym class or cardio tennis (I started that this year and it's mostly women) where kids can tag along. In my experience, I've never made friends from one-off classes or events - it's the regular, organised activities where I make friends. Good luck!
Are your kids in sports? That's a great way to meet other women and my parenting hack to meeting my neighbors. Soccer is the best for this. Family friendly and women focused martial arts dojos are also a great community. Get you and the kids all doing BJJ. 💪 Also check out single mother groups for your neighborhood - they're usually on Facebook and have events to meet other women.