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I have posted last year about one of my friends who met an older man a couple of years ago. He is married with a kid and my friend found out later on. He did a number on her mentally. I took screenshots and posted them below. My other friend and I have been trying to get her to hang out with us and making plans. She always says yes, but she then either tries to change the date, or she cancels. She always uses the excuse that her sister-in-law moved into her house with her brother and parents and she's showing her around. Now it's because they're renovating their house. My friend is completely fed up with her and the excuses. I had my gallbladder taken out 4 weeks ago, and she said she would cone see me, but would cancel each time.
I don't know what to do anymore. Should we keep trying to invite her out, or should we leave her be and get better? I'd like to keep inviting her and if she wants to come out great, if not then that's fine too. I don't want her to get the impression that we don't care about her, but we're starting to get fed up with her behavior. She's not helping herself going from work to home all the time.
I'm open to any suggestions.
The real question here is why you don’t want her to get the impression that you don’t care about her? Seems to me like she doesn’t really care about you with her flakiness and excuses.
I would just leave her be.
You can't get someone to do something they don't want to. It does look like he's trying to isolate her and this is not good. However, you can't force her to see it.
You can send her a message saying that you think that her partner is trying to isolate her, and that you'll be there for her when she's ready for it. She will probably not take it well, but the main obstacle someone who is fleeing from abuse faces is the lack of a support structure. You can make sure she knows she can count on you when she eventually opens her eyes.
This is a tough one. Her behavior is annoying and flaky, but at the same time, a lot of people tend to withdraw from people altogether after going through a traumatic event (like she did with the old scrote she was seeing). I can relate, because living through the pandemic made me feel anxious about simply going outside. So I can understand not wanting to cut her off. Maybe try to have a smaller type of outing, so she doesn’t feel so much pressure? Maybe just go over to her place to stop in and say hi? Those might be good steps to take.
I don't get these girls. When she has her sugar daddy drop her off a few blocks from home, does she think he respects the "sacrifice" she's making for "their love"? LOL he's thinking that if it's so easy for her to lie to her blood relatives about what she's doing, then she'll be easy to isolate and prey on. Furthermore, there's no way he's gonna actually respect or trust her either for a long-term relationship, for the same reason.
I would ask her, what she thinks he is thinking when he drops her off far away? Wouldn't a man who truly cares about her want a relationship in the open, and to meet her family?
When something has to be done in a furtive/ shady way, it's hardly ever good.