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Ladies, I don't know what is polite here.
My friend told me not to buy plates/dishes for my new place because she wanted to get me some as a housewarming gift, but she hadn't bought them yet.
I said, awesome, thank you. And I shared with her the link to the specific dish set that I wanted. She agreed it suited me well. I lived off paper plates for a couple of weeks because she really wanted to gift me a dish set and didn't get around to it quickly.
The she finally gifts me a dish set, and I don't like them at all. They're very basic and plain, not the ones I wanted. I'm annoyed, I was prepared to buy the ones I wanted myself, waited for her, and she gave me these. I don't want them.
If this were a gift from a man in the same scenario, I would resell them without hesitation. But she will come over and notice the plates are gone and have been replaced, and somehow that feels rude to do since she's a female friend.
Help.
You shouldn't worry about her feelings. I mean, when she gifted something different than you asked for, she didn't care about your feelings either. You don't have to keep her gift if you don't want to.
Use stuff that will make you happy. If she ask why you don't use her gift, just say "I prefer this set 😇" and mention nothing about hers.
This sounds fishy to me considering you sent her a link to ones you liked, she was adamant on buying you plates (instead of literally anything else), and then she still took her time before giving them to you. Are you sure she didn't just happen to have an extra dishware set she was trying to get rid of, then waited a bit to make it seem like she ordered them and had to wait or something? Definitely agree with the other commenter that you should buy the ones you like and just use both
How often does this friend come over? Why are you giving her license to police the dishware you use? Are you going to let her police your diet, words, and thoughts next?
Fuck that.
Use the dishware you like. Use hers as backup. Hers will come in handy if/when your dishes break.
I'd keep them jist because and extra set of dishes comes handy once in a while, especially for children or larger parties, but I'd buy the set you really want. It was rude of her to want to pay for your dishes and then not get the gift you actually wanted.
Easy, buy the plates you want, and use them alongside her plates. There’s nothing wrong with using two sets of plates all at once. If she sees two so be it. I doubt she’d get angry.