Holiday gatherings

How it doesn't come naturally to treat children the same regarding the division of chores is beyond me. So many people should not be allowed to have children.

The vast majority of holiday brunches/lunches/dinners I've attended in private residences have involved the women cooking and serving and the men sitting around.

This was bad enough. What made things 10 times worse, in some cases, was the fact that I was expected to help with cooking, serving, and/or cleaning because I was a woman.

This is actually one of the main reasons I avoid holiday gatherings in people's homes.

This is good advice. It's always really annoyed me how during occasions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's the women doing nearly all the work. The women do all the cooking, they buy and wrap the gifts, they host the parties/dinners, all while the men sit around doing nothing. In my family's case, I host Christmas dinner every year. The only reason I do this is because if I didn't, my mother would have to host it and she's in her 70s and frankly I think she deserves a break from hosting Christmas dinners after years of doing it. My father and brother never helped either me or my mother and not only that but I don't think it even occurs to them to help.

It's not women's fault that men grow up to be useless arseholes. I hate this mother-blaming crap. Grown men, regardless of how they've been raised can use their eyes to see what's going on during holiday time, and can then change their behaviour if found lacking. Most of them don't do this, because they're useless scrotes. This is not the fault of their mothers.

If you come to a holiday gathering as a boy or man someone takes your coat and you are handed a drink and a snack as soon as you come in. Then you sit down and enjoy the evening.

If you come to a holiday gathering as a girl or woman you are handed a baby to watch or another chore as soon as you come in. You can forget about sitting down for the rest of the evening.

That's how it has always been like in my extended family and pretty much all families I know. As soon as you were old enough (which was around 10 or so for us girls), you were expected to pitch in and contribute (watch the younger kids, help in the kitchen, bring the men drinks and snacks, clean up...) as soon as you came in while the men and boys went off to relax and play.

Oof, this discussion thread could not come at a better time. I am thinking of volunteering over the holidays instead of spending time at home. I have started skipping family gatherings because I was constantly expected to help my female family members prepare while my male siblings did nothing, nada, rien. I grew resentful and wanted to change. I still feel FOMO but I know what is coming so I am trying something different.

i have a better idea. all adults should prepare their own meal. no one would be overwhelmed or overworked. kids should have their meals prepared by both their parents (50/50 is ok here) and teenagers should help themselves too. those who don't cook, don't eat. simple.