Has your mom ever said something like this to you?

Your mom is a pickme. What a nasty thing for anyone to say to you, especially your own mom.

I don't have much in the line of advice but my mother is exactly the same. There was one time when I told my mother my then boyfriend had broken up with me. Her immediate response was to grill me about what I'd done wrong (her words, not mine). She asked me who paid for the dates and I responded honestly that he had paid. My mother then went off on a massive rant about how "men and women are equal now" and "women need to pay for dates". It was bizarre. Since then I refuse to talk to my mother about my dating life. It's sad when your own mother is a pick me who sides with a man she barely knows over her own daughter, but that's how it is.

My mom is the exact opposite. She approves when my bf pays for stuff most of the time and brings me little gifts etc. She says a lot that he needs to constantly make up for the fact that I risk more in the relationship because of me being a woman. She does hold some old-fashioned views however, such as that the sole reason I needed to do chores around the house was that "someday I need to be able to take care of my future man". Used to say that often when I was younger. My mom was what you call a "single married mom", and my dad used to avoid us by working 24/7 when I was little and didn't participate much in our upbringing the same way mom was. Maybe that caused her to be a bit more feminist than the average mom

I think the only advice I can give you is just not talk to your mom about your dates etc, if her response ruins your mood.

My mom is a recovering pickme in this regard haha

She used to get worried when boyfriends would buy me stuff/pay for stuff or treat me well, because she was always worried about what those things would really be costing me? Something like that.

But now that she actually likes my current partner she's getting better. When I was home for thanksgiving I said something about how I'd come home to a bunch of house projects being done (because that's what bf does when he misses me lol) and she was like "what?! Really?!...huh. That's really nice!" and I could tell she was pondering for a while after about how my dad is all talk, zero follow through with all their house projects.

That's one example of many, but she's slowly coming around to the idea that it should be normal for men to do things for you.

My mom has never said anything like this to me. She's mostly like "oh! That's nice!" Or "I'm glad he's treating you well"

Ive been with a bf for close to a year now, we're gonna be celebrating our anniversary in a few weeks!

But I was telling a group of friends about him and all the nice , sweet and thoughtful things he's done and one did ask

"What do you do for him?!" And one said she can pay for her own meals/dates. I felt like they were putting me down.

It's a pick me response though, they don't have boyfriends/husbands that do this for them currently or haven't had this in the past. So to them it seems like it's unbelievable and they may even wonder how they find someone like that!

I don't know what I can tell you about family like this, I don't really speak to these friends anymore because they met him and they were throwing themselves at him and being a pick me.

For family, I'd say just don't bring stuff like that up. Or don't talk as much. It's harder when it's family.

My mom would have told me break up with him if he expected something in exchange for the gift.

I would ask her if she’s jealous then change the subject before she can answer. Lol.

My mom is like this. Biggest pick me ever.

Don't tell her anything about your dating life or anything else you don't want infected by negativity and jealousy.

When I started dating my high school boyfriend, my own dad made it very clear how important it was that I "go dutch" and split 50/50. This was pre FDS obviously, but I was so desperate to prove I wasn't a gold digger, that I would always insist on paying for my boyfriend's food as well. In hindsight, I'm so embarrassed at how much of a Pickmeisha I was

Some moms are like this.

I don't know what to say other than these moms are dangerous and have a nearly 100% chance of raising pickmes.

My mom is a mega pick me (don't worry, she's also a raging bitch with bpd and my dad enables her craziness, they're a match made in hell) and she often tries to say that I should accept coffee dates and other LV shit. When I mentioned an ex taking me on a all expenses paid week long vacay for my birthday she told me I have to blow him and when I scoffed and said I didn't blow him she had a full blown tantrum melt down. When he and I broke up later for unrelated reasons she insisted that it's cuz I didn't blow him. She also calls me a gold digger bc I expect men to give me a card in their name to pay for my make up, skincare, groceries, and whatever else I want while we date. She is always throwing the fact I'm not married but my sister is in my face like my sister isn't a stay at home wife to a man who makes six figures? She literally does the same shit as me and she and her husband MAYBE have sex once or twice a year cuz their medications destroy their libidos. But somehow me having D1 athletes take me to steakhouses and pay my bills is a problem for her.

At this point I just chalk it up to jealousy and her wishing she'd have had higher standards when she was my age. Most of the older women I know are jealous of the life I live. I'd say never take advice from someone who's life you're not interested in living.

My mom tried to one-up me a lot when I was younger. I brought a guy over to our apartment ONCE during highschool and she wore nothing but booty shorts and an apron with no bra.

Immediate attack launched.

She was a pickme in the way that she thought it would help her get things from men, and it usually did, until she got too sick to compete. She tried once to get between my and my first real boyfriend, by apologizing for me for something I really didn't do wrong.

I couldn't help but go cold on her. I think she thought I was too stupid to notice small details. My stepdad at the time was WAAAAAY worse though, often telling my husband I was a bitch, etc, because we were more successful than him.