“Be Joyful for gods sake”

Aka the religious version of “Why aren’t you smiling sweetheart?”

Has anyone else grappled with or watched someone close to them live this way? Women are told this in a million different ways by a million different men and even by other women. They should smile, they have to embrace joy, god has provided everything you need so don’t fret. I watched my grandmother live this way, and I watched it turn into a real enjoyment of life after losing her husband, and now I’m watching a woman I follow on instagram, essentially have a full psychological breakdown with captions calling it love and joy and god fighting on her behalf. It makes me feel like being a rude bitch is my feminist right of passage, which is a huge problem in my life because I struggle to make friends.

Has anyone else dealt with this or figured out a way to make friendships without feeling like we’re all just pretending to be nice to each other because the men might find out?

I’ve also noticed in groups of friends where theres men, they talk up a mean comment to make women think it has to be the end of a friendship if I don’t like someone’s new haircut or their new boyfriend, and even with some compliments, the guy will talk you into thinking it was backhanded.