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Aka the religious version of “Why aren’t you smiling sweetheart?”
Has anyone else grappled with or watched someone close to them live this way? Women are told this in a million different ways by a million different men and even by other women. They should smile, they have to embrace joy, god has provided everything you need so don’t fret. I watched my grandmother live this way, and I watched it turn into a real enjoyment of life after losing her husband, and now I’m watching a woman I follow on instagram, essentially have a full psychological breakdown with captions calling it love and joy and god fighting on her behalf. It makes me feel like being a rude bitch is my feminist right of passage, which is a huge problem in my life because I struggle to make friends.
Has anyone else dealt with this or figured out a way to make friendships without feeling like we’re all just pretending to be nice to each other because the men might find out?
I’ve also noticed in groups of friends where theres men, they talk up a mean comment to make women think it has to be the end of a friendship if I don’t like someone’s new haircut or their new boyfriend, and even with some compliments, the guy will talk you into thinking it was backhanded.
I was raised in an Evangelical christian conservative religion (hint: acronym J.OY.) AND ...well, it's definitely best to leave these cult-indoctrinated pickmes be. If they are too far gone to bring themselves to question things, you cannot wake them up. Waking up is a process that only the person can do. As for the mean girl forced closeness, that is always a red flag, christian or not. It is a thing in a lot of circles of women who have not had close friendships without toxicity. It take a lot to heal, be alone and without feeling you have to rely on other women and pick your friend circle slowly when ready but the point is: sometimes the worst offenders can be those who are fake AF.
I find that the only way to deal with this, is to make your own friends with things you like to do, and slowly dissociate or distance yourself from those who's values don't align with you or their character or morals don't.
Women who live like this don't know what it is when they experience real happiness.
But yeah, almost all religions manage female emotions - because male supremacy will die if women feel their feelings.