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Hey y'all. Let me know if I was wrong. A person posted about a date that went wrong (pictures attached for you to read the post. I responded to the post saying the following "He was soooooooo wrong for being upset for being denied sex and for also lying to others about you . Also, it's so dangerous to let someone you barely know into your place, so good for you for not doing that.
I would have expected the date to have gone poorly based on the fact that you asked him on the date. When a man is interested in dating a woman, he tends to ask her on a date. Also, why did you insist on paying for coffee and dinner? Based on this and parts in the post, it comes off like you were just wanting to hang out with a friend, and I'm a little confused why you expected it to be a quality date. If it was suppose to be a date, ideally the man should pay for it. So I'm a little confused on both of y'all's intention for this date. Basically he was low effort and you were too nice.
So glad you dodged a guy who is a douche though."
She responded to my question on why she insisted on paying. She said "Oh yeah. Even if he was super chill, I still wouldn’t have gone to his place. It takes much more than that for me to feel comfortable with someone alone like that. And I did let him pay for the food. I paid for my coffee just out of habit. I just wanted him to know I didn’t expect him to pay for me because I thought it was stressing him out. I was trying to make him comfortable, but just pissed him off instead."
Yall, I got soooooooo many downvotes on my comment, which really surprised me.
I responded to her message saying " thank you for replying. I think maybe my response came off sounding harsh. I think he was awful and you did nothing wrong in regards to denying him sex. I would also like to add, that you are too nice. If you felt like he gave off the vibe of being annoyed to pay for things, that should have been a big sign to abort mission. Let a man pay for things and don't feel bad about it, because you don't owe him anything just because he pays for the date. However, all in all, you handled yourself so well in this situation. "
That got so many downvotes as well. I had to delete my comments because they were draining my karma. Lol
What was I said wrong?
I thought I was right in saying that basically, yes he is a piece of crap, but here are the issues that caused you to have to deal with this low effort man (her asking him out, her pushing to pay for her stuff.) I felt like everyone in the post were saying that he was using paying for dinner and stuff as a way to try to get sex from her, and it seemed like they were stressing that it was bad that he was trying to pay for her dinner and stuff so badly. I think they miss the mark. He is suppose to pay for the date. You should let him pay and not feel and about it because he is SUPPOSE to pay for the first date, and you should feel okay with him paying and not owing him anything. I also noticed that twoxchromosomes subreddit is where a lot of women come to just rant and whine, and it's unproductive and can be annoying because the solutions people make are not the most beneficial for the woman.
Was my response wrong? Is twoxchromosmes subreddit a pickme central or feminism that is counterproductive? Please let me know. How could I have responded better?
That subreddit is mostly pick mes, gender confused men, and men LARPing as woman.
I really believe FDS is one of the few female only spaces on the internet that talks about 'controversial' subjects (women's empowerment is still controversial in 2023). Other mostly female spaces on the internet are for hobbies.
I totally agree with you. Both their behavior was a little bizarre for sure. Tbh if you get downvoted on reddit its because you are saying the truth. See it as an indication that you are right because reddit is so filled with pick me mentalities that harm women, you upsetting them is a good sign. Dont let them make you insecure!
"He thought since I initiated he thought that meant I wanted to fuck him"
And there it is for all to see, he said the unspoken thing most men think about women who ask men out. LVM will use women for sex and have no regrets about it.
You got down voted by cool girls who want rings, but get passed up, and dickless men- don't be too upset. You should dm her fds so she can level up!
Her post is a reminder of how much liberal feminism has failed women. It seems like a lot of young women really don't understand that, for men, everything is about sex. They've been fed a lot of lies about men and women being equal and that it's totally okay to pursue men and make the first move. Her post just seems very naïve. She will have to learn a lot of difficult truths about men the hard way. They don't want a deep connection. They don't want to be your friend. I hope she finds FDS and wakes up or else she's in for a lot of heartbreak and disappointment.
Your comments were right on. Women should NEVER ask men out, because men take it that you want to fuck. They have no thought in their head that you're trying to see if you two might be compatible for a relationship because ALL they want is sex. And if a man asks you out, he definitely wants sex. Women tend to need and consistency to become safe enough to feel sexual, but society and porn has made it to where women are no longer allowed to have the time to develop safety, security, and love in a relationship. This guy was awful. I've asked men out before because I read this book a shrink wrote about how women are socially better at planning things than men, so I did an experiment to see if she was right. She was SO wrong! Men treated me simultaneously like a free prostitute who wanted to marry them.
A lot of women there are really smart (or they’re FDSers responding), but most are still in the Matrix so you can’t expect any elevated conversations.
It's mostly pick-mes. There are actual feminists in there, but:
It's also mostly men on Reddit in general and some do LARP as women (i.e. female avatars, saying stuff like "as a woman", etc.)
Male moderators, male website from the get-go, and algorithms that favor patriarchal, racist shit, typically. Shouldn't be surprising. Read "The Chaos Machine" by Max Fisher and if your own experiences haven't gotten you to swear off social media, that book will. Holy shit.
Stop trying to make Reddit gossip happen. It's not going to happen
Oh God this reminds me of me before FDS. I have never asked a man out in my life, until a year ago, I was in a pretty lonely place. I didn't have any social life. I was 6 months out of long abusive relationship, and desperately wanted someone to do stuff with. I won these concert tickets. So I asked this older man from my job if he wanted to go with me. It wasn't a date for me. I just wanted someone to do stuff with, an activity partner. I was SO TIRED of doing everything alone. But yeah he immediately thought I was super into him, that I wanted to fuck him etc. He completely twisted around my very innocent platonic invite to an small concert, and turned it into this huge mega date at a very expensive fancy restaurant, and he even booked a freaking hotel room!! Like WTF?? I had to remind him that my invitation was 100% platonic. He just instantly thought I wanted to fuck him. I still can't believe he got a hotel room.
So someone rudely commented about "reddit gossip," and I noticed some upvotes on it, so let me clear something up. I think I may have chosen a poorly worded title for this post; however I was not trying to gossip. I joined that reddit group because I thought it was a female-friendly space. I have seen posts before that were funny memes, and also posts about female issues that were answered well. However after seeing how poorly my response was received on a post, I wanted to inquire about that subreddit and also to see if I was wrong with my wording. After this post, I was able to realize that it was not a reddit group that would be good to be a part of, and how I felt wasn't crazy nor dismissive of the woman's experience. I checked the handbook and also posts on here and noticed that the subreddit wasn't spoken about before, so I wanted to ask for some guidance. We are here to help each other, not be rude to each other. That was very non-FDS of that person who was trying to be impolite. On that note, thank you everyone who offered helpful info on this post. <3
Twoxchromosomes on reddit is such a weird place. It seems like some women are peaking in regards of men's shitty behavior. I see a lot of posts that criticize scrotes/LVM. I saw a post there recently about "Weaponized incompetence" and I thought... Well, FDS was trying to warn us for years about the low effort behavior of guys and now pick-mes / cool-girls suddenly think they are cracking the dating code. I would like to recommend FDS to them, but the sad truth is that the majority of pick-mes / cool-girls prefer to stay pick-mes / cool-girls. So I just don't see a point in helping them to realize that FDS is right about men and dating.
I got banned from TwoX for being a "SWERF" a couple months ago.
@asit123 and @havelt thank you ladies soooo much!!! I felt so bad and felt like I was crazy for saying what I said. Lol thank you for your responses. ❤️🥹❤️
@wynnemart, you did nothing wrong. Kudos to you for trying to help a clearly confused woman that is operating like a pickme.
She was clearly interested in the guy or at least, mustered up interest in him after hearing from friends that he was interested in her. Mistake #1 on her part - Never decide to be interested in a man because he's interested in you.
She proceeded to ask him out instead of it being the other way around - Mistake #2
She clearly has a romantic interest in the guy yet doesn't understand why he wants to pay or at least, she's confused by it. Mistake #3 - A man should pay on the first date and a woman shouldn't be confused or worried when he offers to do so.
Her behaviour put him off and she's confused that he seemed to no longer be interested in her. Mistake #4 - If you show interest in a man then start acting in a platonic way, he'll be confused by your sudden switch around and will likely and understandably be annoyed, due to feeling like he was led on.
He proceeds to ask if she wants to come back to his, insults her by saying it was a mistake to meet up with her then badmouths her to their friends. Red flags flying everywhere - this guy was within his rights to be put off by a woman who, to him, came across as hot and cold but where he went wrong was proceeding to insult her and subtly imply that they go back to his to get busy. This goes to show why women should never ask men out - the man always proceeds to disrespect the woman as he sees her as desperate for chasing him.
On the other hand, he may have felt comfortable doing all he did as he felt that she wasted his time, led him on and confused and to be fair, if a woman felt led on by a man who: asked her out, told her to pay for her own drink and overall, seemed hot and cold (seemed interested one minute, then acting like they were only friends the next), I wouldn't blame her for telling him off and telling their mutual friends about what a weirdo he is.
@wynnemart, you gave sound advice that the other commenters disagreed with because they don't like hearing the truth. The woman who wrote this post is very confused and needs to do a lot of work on herself. She's playing that pickme, lib-fem nonsense of asking a man out, wanting him to like her, wanting to act like she's exactly the same as him (i.e. "I can pay for my own drink") then wanting the guy to be chivalrous and gentlemanly. She needs to decide which side she falls on. She can't want to act like a man one minute then flip it on the man and want him to be the masculine one.