I can't. I just can't. "You may miss out on the rich and rewarding experience of being with someone who is neurotic! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but men with low self-esteem are people too."ROFLI'm glad I'm missing out. Get some fucking therapy!
I can't. I just can't. "You may miss out on the rich and rewarding experience of being with someone who is neurotic! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but men with low self-esteem are people too."
my dear, are we (FDS women) the only ones who see through this huge, stinking piles of bullshit?
are we the weird ones?
the ones that do not want a "love-story" a la pop-culture?
when are the libfems going to grow up and stop associating real life (where you buy groceries and toilet paper, pay bills and work 40+hours/ week) with books like Pride & Prejudice and stupid rom-coms like When Harry met Sally?
life is not a rom-com or a stupid "love-story" like 50 shades.
life is a horror movie with horrible reality-TV show moments.
But I’m sorry—some of you have never dated an introvert before, and it shows! Some of you have never romanced a person with a beautiful heart and a debilitating anxiety disorder. If you live by this adage, you will never connect with anyone who is an overthinker, or a little bit socially awkward, or has a little bit too much humility. You may miss out on the rich and rewarding experience of being with someone who is neurotic! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but men with low self-esteem are people too.
this was written by Jenny Singer of Glamour, author of similarly infuriating and stupid articles like Can Strippers Really Forecast a Financial Crisis? or The Best Fetish Websites, Whether You’re Just Looking or In Deep.
Unknown member
Jul 11, 2022
Replying to
Omg yes! There are so many dating experts and magazine writers that are trying to get women to date bottom-of-the-barrel scrotes.
I'm just like why don't they do us a favor and date them? Common Glamour magazine takes these neckbeards off our hands!
Unknown member
Jul 11, 2022
Replying to
Lol the gaslighting.
you will never connect with anyone who is an overthinker, or a little bit socially awkward, or has a little bit too much humility.
Oh, how will I ever live? Miss me we that shit.
Unknown member
Jul 08, 2022
Yup, once again women are in the wrong. Can’t you see he’s a fixer-upper? Take the lead and give him a chance. Here you go, have some more emotional labor to burden yourself with. Drive yourself to distraction wondering what’s going on with him. Waste your time and trash your confidence. Not like you have anything better to do with your life. So what if he treats you like garbage? Trust me, you DO NOT want to regret missing out on this quality relationship! /s
Disgusting i couldn't read past "women waiting to be picked" they preach women making the first move. Men look down on you if you make the first move. They hate you if you emasculate them. Honestly I'm gonna have to say its flat out dangerous advice.
5 years ago I had a dude from tinder call me non stop screaming at me and threatening me. His reason? I kissed him first. That's his job. I said to him "but you like it?" He said "yeah" and then kept threatening me.
What set him off over the phone? I texted him something small talky like "I'm tired." He responds with "look im not looking for anything serious" (as if I said anything remotely deep or personal lmao)
So i responded with "I'm not either lmao"
And that's it. That's what set him off. I didn't want a relationship. He wanted me to want a relationship. He wanted to feel like he was getting one over on me. I was using him for sex just like he was using me. Men don't like being used for sex. They want to feel like they are coercing you. They want rape.
So yes ladies pursue men so that they can literally kill you because you hurt their fragile fee fees. 🙄
I will never date a mentally ill man. A man with no job, no home, no friends, no perspective. I will not date a man that is shorter than me and fat and I will not date a man that has a record or a history of DV.
I am not a bigot, a -phobe, or an evil witch woman. (well, I am an evil witch woman but that's not the problem here).
these are my boundaries and no amount of libfemming and woo-woo cries will change them.
I am dying on this hill and any man who does not meet all the criteria can just FO.
Of course this is mindless Drabble, they sourced reddit.
"The ostensible purpose here is to “help” women save time and energy in dating, which it does by way of making them feel both undesirable and stupid." and "What comes across is: That man doesn’t want you. Get it through your head. If you keep trying to make something happen with him and he keeps treating you badly, that’s on you. Now you’re not only undesirable, you’re also stupid."
Let's gaslight women with standards, why dont we?
WTF is this? If you try to make something happen over and over again, that is literally on you. Anybody with critical thinking skills can see through that.
"But I’m sorry—some of you have never dated an introvert before, and it shows! Some of you have never romanced a person with a beautiful heart and a debilitating anxiety disorder."
The fuck?
Even people with anxiety try, especially if you've already made your interest known.
"“If he wanted to, he would” paints women as generally desperate, which is interesting because if we’re dealing in generalizations, straight men are the most desperate people in society."
This whole article missed the entire point - the saying isn't about women, it's literally about men. Men will always make an effort for a woman they want unless they have serious issues to work through, and women should not be dating those men because then they'll end up a project.
My youngest son is a very shy ADHD introvert whose fairly anxious. And guess what? He deals with it because he was taught the importance of being a man when he needs to be a man. When he started dating, he knew he had to step up. I made it clear, “you have to have money to date, and you have to have a job to have money, so get to work, kiddo.” And by “get to work” I mean, do whatever you need to do to work through it, and I’m here if you need support. Most humans were dealt, at some point in their life, a shit hand - some worse than others, and some who are truly stuck. Most of us, tho, are fully capable of brushing off our knees and making the best of our shit hand. I expect this from my children because I respect their right to fail and learn from their mistakes. Learned helplessness has gotten out of control. Everyone is a victim today and they all believe they’re owed reparations for being a victim. No. If he wanted to he would. And if he’s scared, anxious, introverted, not the best looking, he will try to overcome his fear, like a man, and put his best foot forward. It’s not our jobs to coddle a man because he’s shy. Would that work if he decided he was too anxious to go to a job interview? No. The employers know as well, if he wanted to, he would. This article is pure garbage. Pick me is afraid she won’t get picked, so she’s gotta force herself on all the shy guys because she’s such a good person for understanding that he needs love too. Ugh. Just no.
But it is stupid to keep pursuing someone after they say no.
Unknown member
Jul 11, 2022
Replying to
Learned helplessness has gotten out of control.
Yes!
I'm all for safe spaces, breaks, and giving students extra time. However, it's gotten to the point where I feel like we might be doing a disservice to these communities.Especially when it comes to learned self helplessness! It's like pulling teeth!
Here's a snitbit of my life in a nutshell lol
Student 1: Can you go to the office and get me an ice backpack?
Me: Go ask. You know ____ in the office already. You've talked to her plenty of times.
S1: I know but...cant you come w/ me? I'm scared.
M: I'll come with you but I'll wait outside.
S1: What....😶
M: You need to try _____. You can do it on your own.
S1: But I can't!
M: ___ you need to try. We all get scared....even adults get scared. Believe it or not.
S2: "Can you tell me how to spell the word apple?"
M:Try sounding it out.
S2: Just tell me. Imma spell it wrong anyway.
M: I know that you have a hard time w/ spelling. But we are grading you on what you know...so don't focus too much on spelling. You can sound it out I know you can.
S2: If you just told me how to spell apple then I could get back to writing but nooooOooo🙄. Great now I forgot what I was going to write. Thanks a lot🙄.
S3: Can't you just give me the answer to the test?
M: I made individualized notes just for you. Look at the highlighted sections that'll help you.
S3: I don't get it.
M: See how I highlighted the vocabulary on your notes? All you have to do on the test is match the vocabulary with the right definition. Let me help you with 1-3. Now your turn.
S3: Uhhh fine but I'll get it wrong anyway.
I feel like we are all the blame like how did it get to this point.
Lilith, you do you sis. As someone who’s an introvert with social anxiety, I wouldn’t date someone who’s too neurotic to function. And I relate to Savannah, if I dated another introvert I would be cooped up all day with them. There’s a reason I like outgoing, passionate types, they compliment me.
I’ve spent my whole life working on myself, doing the work to function and thrive despite the challenges that come with anxiety, so why would I want to date someone who can’t get their act together? Do you know the meaning of a romantic relationship? It’s complete entitlement.
I have friends who have it worse mentally and emotionally than I do, and I’ve felt neglected by them, personally and in our friendship. With me pulling most of the weight. It’s exhausting and I’m finally realizing how to set boundaries with my therapist.
I can't stand when they try to correlate shyness, introversion and anxiety to low effort and dont give a shit attitude.
My grandfather was a shy, introverted man and yet he still put effort and approached first to my grandmother. As a shy man, it took him courage to approach her. Grandma noticed him before, he would look at her but was shy at first to approach and yet he did, because he really did like her.
Treated her lovingly until the very end, his introverted personality or shyness did not stop him from loving her.
So what the hell? How can these pickmes conclude that low effort is same as anxiety and shyness? They overdose themselves on copium and try to make other women into copium addicts too, it is so annoying.
My paternal grandfather was like that. Quiet, very hard working, and shy. He was a civil engineer and worked himself to death to provide for the family. He saw my grandma walking down the road in the small town he'd just moved to, and he asked her out. She went home and told her Mom that he'd asked her out, and her mother didn't want her to go. My grandmother told her, "I'm going out with him, and I'm gonna marry him if he asks me!" They got married 2 weeks after their first date and were happily married until he died 50 years later. He was the only good man in my entire family, and I still miss him. Just because a guy is quiet doesn't mean he can't pursue the woman he likes.
As a woman that has had two serious and long-term relationships with a socially awkward intellect, and an aspergerish workaholic (both pursued btw), the saying still stands "if he wants to, he will."
Anything to be the 'cool girl' that shrinks herself for a scrote.
Fun story: that man who has "debilitating anxiety" and is "introverted" and all of those other excuses? Will get some pep in his fucking step when he finds the woman that he wants to be with.
If it's one thing that men aren't, it's subtle.
20
Guest
Jul 11, 2022
Replying to
He might for awhile, until he's got her.
And especially after they get married and she has a baby...will he revert back to who he was before?
One of the reasons to vet for effort is to make sure that he is willing to put forth the effort when things get hard (work, new baby, kids, elder care, etc).
The author comes across as so angry! And If a man wants you he will show you particularly in the early dating stages. If a man wants you long term he will continually show up for you lol. Yes there can be some roadblocks but generally speaking it is how it works!
16
Unknown member
Jul 11, 2022
I looked up who owns Glamour Magazine. And to no one's surprise, it's owned by white men. Guys this is exactly why Glamour magazine doesn't bother pushing the status quo. It's just the same rhetoric over and over again. No depth. No dimension. No different perspectives.
Uhh just Imagine all the great female writers out there in that couldn't get articles approved because it upset the owner. What a shame.
This is why I really miss Cosmo Girl they had so many great articles! It was such a good magazine 😭 (dam you recession). There were several articles on there that I still remember till this day. They talked about school shootings, date rape, hazing, consent etc. God, I miss them.
Ps. Teen Vogue from 2014-2016 was good too. I feel like now they care more about having the right opinion.
"If he wanted to, he would" is actually great advice. Most women are looking for a reason to stay with and continue pursuing a guy who's not actually interested. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the girl if the guy isn't interested, but if she persists with chasing an uninterested male, she definitely will have something wrong with her. This is how girls get hurt. They love a man who's not interested and break their own hearts by putting way too much love and care into a guy who doesn't return her love. Ask me how I know. It's a hard lesson to learn, but men make time and effort for the things and people they care about. And if he's not doing good things for you, he is simply not as interested or as invested as he claims to be. If he's too mentally ill to ask you out or to keep up his side of the relationship, he needs to be by himself until his health is better. No woman can love the mental illness, insecurities, lack of ambition, or lack of interest out of a man.
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I can't. I just can't. "You may miss out on the rich and rewarding experience of being with someone who is neurotic! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but men with low self-esteem are people too." ROFL I'm glad I'm missing out. Get some fucking therapy!
Yup, once again women are in the wrong. Can’t you see he’s a fixer-upper? Take the lead and give him a chance. Here you go, have some more emotional labor to burden yourself with. Drive yourself to distraction wondering what’s going on with him. Waste your time and trash your confidence. Not like you have anything better to do with your life. So what if he treats you like garbage? Trust me, you DO NOT want to regret missing out on this quality relationship! /s
This sounds like a pick-me article. Men with low self esteem should get some therapy.
I hope this article just turns more women on to FDS. All publicity is good.
Disgusting i couldn't read past "women waiting to be picked" they preach women making the first move. Men look down on you if you make the first move. They hate you if you emasculate them. Honestly I'm gonna have to say its flat out dangerous advice.
5 years ago I had a dude from tinder call me non stop screaming at me and threatening me. His reason? I kissed him first. That's his job. I said to him "but you like it?" He said "yeah" and then kept threatening me.
What set him off over the phone? I texted him something small talky like "I'm tired." He responds with "look im not looking for anything serious" (as if I said anything remotely deep or personal lmao)
So i responded with "I'm not either lmao"
And that's it. That's what set him off. I didn't want a relationship. He wanted me to want a relationship. He wanted to feel like he was getting one over on me. I was using him for sex just like he was using me. Men don't like being used for sex. They want to feel like they are coercing you. They want rape.
So yes ladies pursue men so that they can literally kill you because you hurt their fragile fee fees. 🙄
This reeks of libfem logic.
I will never date a mentally ill man. A man with no job, no home, no friends, no perspective. I will not date a man that is shorter than me and fat and I will not date a man that has a record or a history of DV.
I am not a bigot, a -phobe, or an evil witch woman. (well, I am an evil witch woman but that's not the problem here).
these are my boundaries and no amount of libfemming and woo-woo cries will change them.
I am dying on this hill and any man who does not meet all the criteria can just FO.
Of course this is mindless Drabble, they sourced reddit.
"The ostensible purpose here is to “help” women save time and energy in dating, which it does by way of making them feel both undesirable and stupid." and "What comes across is: That man doesn’t want you. Get it through your head. If you keep trying to make something happen with him and he keeps treating you badly, that’s on you. Now you’re not only undesirable, you’re also stupid."
Let's gaslight women with standards, why dont we?
WTF is this? If you try to make something happen over and over again, that is literally on you. Anybody with critical thinking skills can see through that.
"But I’m sorry—some of you have never dated an introvert before, and it shows! Some of you have never romanced a person with a beautiful heart and a debilitating anxiety disorder."
The fuck?
Even people with anxiety try, especially if you've already made your interest known.
"“If he wanted to, he would” paints women as generally desperate, which is interesting because if we’re dealing in generalizations, straight men are the most desperate people in society."
This whole article missed the entire point - the saying isn't about women, it's literally about men. Men will always make an effort for a woman they want unless they have serious issues to work through, and women should not be dating those men because then they'll end up a project.
What a load
Lilith, you do you sis. As someone who’s an introvert with social anxiety, I wouldn’t date someone who’s too neurotic to function. And I relate to Savannah, if I dated another introvert I would be cooped up all day with them. There’s a reason I like outgoing, passionate types, they compliment me.
I’ve spent my whole life working on myself, doing the work to function and thrive despite the challenges that come with anxiety, so why would I want to date someone who can’t get their act together? Do you know the meaning of a romantic relationship? It’s complete entitlement.
I have friends who have it worse mentally and emotionally than I do, and I’ve felt neglected by them, personally and in our friendship. With me pulling most of the weight. It’s exhausting and I’m finally realizing how to set boundaries with my therapist.
I can't stand when they try to correlate shyness, introversion and anxiety to low effort and dont give a shit attitude.
My grandfather was a shy, introverted man and yet he still put effort and approached first to my grandmother. As a shy man, it took him courage to approach her. Grandma noticed him before, he would look at her but was shy at first to approach and yet he did, because he really did like her.
Treated her lovingly until the very end, his introverted personality or shyness did not stop him from loving her.
So what the hell? How can these pickmes conclude that low effort is same as anxiety and shyness? They overdose themselves on copium and try to make other women into copium addicts too, it is so annoying.
As a woman that has had two serious and long-term relationships with a socially awkward intellect, and an aspergerish workaholic (both pursued btw), the saying still stands "if he wants to, he will."
Anything to be the 'cool girl' that shrinks herself for a scrote.
Fun story: that man who has "debilitating anxiety" and is "introverted" and all of those other excuses? Will get some pep in his fucking step when he finds the woman that he wants to be with.
If it's one thing that men aren't, it's subtle.
The only thing she got right was "straight men are the most desperate"
She’s on Twitter. May write to her 🤬
The author comes across as so angry! And If a man wants you he will show you particularly in the early dating stages. If a man wants you long term he will continually show up for you lol. Yes there can be some roadblocks but generally speaking it is how it works!
I looked up who owns Glamour Magazine. And to no one's surprise, it's owned by white men. Guys this is exactly why Glamour magazine doesn't bother pushing the status quo. It's just the same rhetoric over and over again. No depth. No dimension. No different perspectives.
Uhh just Imagine all the great female writers out there in that couldn't get articles approved because it upset the owner. What a shame.
This is why I really miss Cosmo Girl they had so many great articles! It was such a good magazine 😭 (dam you recession). There were several articles on there that I still remember till this day. They talked about school shootings, date rape, hazing, consent etc. God, I miss them.
Ps. Teen Vogue from 2014-2016 was good too. I feel like now they care more about having the right opinion.
"If he wanted to, he would" is actually great advice. Most women are looking for a reason to stay with and continue pursuing a guy who's not actually interested. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the girl if the guy isn't interested, but if she persists with chasing an uninterested male, she definitely will have something wrong with her. This is how girls get hurt. They love a man who's not interested and break their own hearts by putting way too much love and care into a guy who doesn't return her love. Ask me how I know. It's a hard lesson to learn, but men make time and effort for the things and people they care about. And if he's not doing good things for you, he is simply not as interested or as invested as he claims to be. If he's too mentally ill to ask you out or to keep up his side of the relationship, he needs to be by himself until his health is better. No woman can love the mental illness, insecurities, lack of ambition, or lack of interest out of a man.