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Yeah there's a lot of posts with these lines going around right now. It's in the tone of "you're the issue, not the dating pool". It's in the tone of "you don't want to hear this but, you're scared of getting hurt and have baggage." It's also "you're single because you actively avoid relationships, but you're not ready to have this discussion yet" and "you keep blaming men as the problem but you need to look at your own flaws."
I think it's cope. It's more sneaky misogyny and some pickmes parroting it back, to protect scrotes from any self awareness or accountability.
I'm all for learning about yourself, working on your flaws, taking accountability when you are actually responsible, and leveling up.
But, as women, it's not always our fault. And the awful, msyogynisyic dating culture that prevails is definitely not our fault either.
I'm really tired of women being blamed yet again for another thing. Just because a woman is single, it's not a bad thing. "Single" is often thrown around like it's a sin and makes you undesirable, like you're the defective one. It doesn't acknowledge all the wonderful reasons you might be single. Maybe you left a bad relationship. Maybe you're just focusing more on yourself for once. Maybe you want to study or start a new job and not have to worry about tending to the needs of a scrote.
We can't even be single and unbothered and God forbid when we are single we have "baggage" and "trauma". They always have to make us the ones at fault. The truth is even a person that hasn't had trauma can still be viewed as having "baggage" by a scrote. Scrotes will find flaws no matter how perfect you are - because they want to neg you and make you insecure.
Everyone had something happen that upset them in life, even if it was just something minor. A scrote will still go and say that "you're traumatized" or "you have daddy issues". Scrotes will grasp at straws to say anything to hurt you, and will inflict even more trauma into your life with their manipulation. "Who hurt you?" Isn't cute, it's a neg.
People that have been a victim of trauma are victims. They aren't responsible for the pain and consequences of what happened to them. The way that the phrases I mentioned in the title are worded are done so in a way that instead makes the victim seem responsible for their own trauma. Notice it's not "your father was abusive" bit it's "you have daddy issues" and it's never "thank you for trusting me enough to open up to me. Let me know how i can be here for you" but it's "she's traumatized" and then looked at like a 75% off flesh light. It's "she's crazy" and never a sincere interest in being there for her instead it's a "she's easy, let me waste her time".
The "you're just single because you're running from relationships and scared of getting hurt. You have issues" line is also infuriating. As women we have gut feelings for a reason and we run when we see a red flag. Being "scared" is an exaggeration for feeling a little nervous or hesitant - it's completely normal to have some hesitation in a new relationship and to move cautiously. You should be cautious because you need to be vetting the man and not fall for scrote tactics. You shouldn't be opening up too fast. Of course I am actually scared to get hurt - because I know how fast I can get attached especially if I sleep with a man or open up to him or trauma bond. No one wants to get hurt or have their time wasted. "You're running from and scared of relationships" is just another neg for not falling for love bombing and other scrote tactics.
Friends don't be afraid to run from relationships, don't be ashamed of being worried you'll get your heart broken - it keeps you on your toes as you vet a man. And don't be embarrassed or spoken down to because you're single. Being single can be such a massive blessing and I've enjoyed it so much that I wouldn't easily trade it for anyone. These scrotes and their pickmes won't back down on their schemes of making us the bad guys when really it's them.
If someone said they were bitten by a dog as a kid, no one would hassle them for being scared and cautious of dogs forever. Yet when women are abused by the men who share their home, sudden she's dramatic. Another example of how much society hates women.
I'm single because I love myself. I have high standards and can see right through the bullshit 🥰
There are plenty of great options of women in the dating pool, on the other hand there are plenty of shitty options of men. The majority of men are below value scrotes..which brings me to the conclusion that when a woman is single, it's because there's no man worth dating, since most men are shitty, abusive, misogynistic, not to mention entitled and with the growing number of abusive red pill/pua/mgtard movements, it makes the quality of men even worse.
A woman being single would definitely has to do with the trashy quality of men out there and her standards of not settling...however we can't say the same about a man being single...since men have better options of women in the dating scene...there's plenty of high value women compared to the number of HV men..and most importantly we don't have a whole system set up to oppress men where male-hating movements would thrive creating abusive, man-hating women 🙄 So what excuse does a dude have to be single at this point? I would conclude that there's definitely something wrong with HIM.
wait until they find out where all the trauma comes from. i hate sex thanks to all the bad rapey experiences i've had. am i broken? probably. did i break myself? no way. the problem is external and no one is trying to help me fix it. everytime i gave a man a chance to prove himself a good lover, i got a brand new trauma to my collection. never again!
The strangest thing is also how they look down at traumatized women like we're so disgusting, low quality, and unattractive... but then expect us to keep our hearts and our legs wide open to any scrote walking by? 🤡 Like if we're truly that gross, wouldn't it make everyone feel better if we just take ourselves out of the dating pool altogether?
But that's not what they want. Everybody who is a raging misogynist, more than anything in the whole wide world, want the pleasure of being the ones to reject women and force her out of the dating pool with their own hands. She's not allowed to leave on her own accord, or keep herself as exclusive as possible who only opens up to the HVM who actually loves and cares for her; she's supposed to remain open to anyone and everyone. She's not allowed to reject anyone.
Why tf they so mad at single women for? You don't see women mad at single males.
Anytime someone else attempts to tell you about yourself and asks no questions, projection and presumption, big time. Men’s over-dramatization just slays me; they are such drama kings. I’ve had to shut men down when they wouldn’t take me at my word. But whyyyyyy don’t you want to marry a third time? Just don’t. Happy on my own. They hear the words but never the whole message because “woman content on her own” centers her as the main character, and sidelines them all the way off the script.
Declining birth rates speak to this. We can look to the countries of Japan and Italy to how ineffectual their patriarchal governments are at hemorrhaging their population losses.
There is so much unspoken emotional and physical labour that women do in relationships and I'm glad that women have been able to spread the word about it to other women.
This kind of pressure goes well with the "young men are not having sex" panic that seems to pop its head up every once in a while. Every time you see these kinds of guilt-baiting posts and feel in any way hurt by them, I recommend going to incel forums and you'll be healed of that in a second.
Quoting from a pinned post on Incel.is:
"a man doesn't even ‘become a man’ in a sense within society until he has sex, in essence a lot of men have not undergone their ‘right of passage’ to become part of the ‘tribe’ that is modern human civilization.
Society expects us not to burn the village down when it won't initiate us into the tribe, that's whats truly outrageous, not the violence of disenfranchised men, but the fact that society actually expects us to just remain docile and accept this reality that has been forced upon us.”
These fuckers don't really want sex, or girlfriends, they want not to feel as "beta males.." They don't want to just hate women from a distance, but have one they can hate from a close-up.
ive been single 99% of my life for as long as dating became acceptable. The one time I tried giving a scrote a chance I regretted everything and went back to my video games/gaming friends. With that being said, you are correct about everything they say about single people. I've heard my family make every single hurtful comment about women being single/pregnant/married/every stage of life they have some criticism about it. I've been threatened by my pick-me mom that if I ever ended up pregnant she'd hit me.
I've been told by my dad why don't I consider having a kid for tax purposes, been told by my abusive brother why I don't coMmUnicAte more with my 1 ex and reach out to him. He was trying to push me further into being pick-me because he'd wish more women did that for men.
So we're wrong to stay away from men when we've been traumatized by men?🤣 Then they tell you that you should "pick better." But picking better for me involved cutting off my abusive father, schizophrenic uncle, narc ex husband, and not dating at all. Only after I did all of that house cleaning of males in my life have I been happy, healthy, not crying, not insecure, etc. Men harm women and turn around blaming women for what men do. It's been this way since Adam and Eve. Women are just the scapegoats that men blame their bad behavior upon.
“People that have been a victim of trauma are victims. They aren't responsible for the pain and consequences of what happened to them. The way that the phrases I mentioned in the title are worded are done so in a way that instead makes the victim seem responsible for their own trauma.” This part really resonated with me today.
I could have wrote this. I agree wholeheartedly. This taboo needs to be as common a topic as alcohol!
What's the perMANent fix to this problem? Coz I snapped years ago and every time I stand up, I'm on my own. And I'm TIRED of being the only one on my own who want to see improvement before my life ends. What do we DO?