You just need to be honest with Your[SELF].

At the core of it all, what do you really want?

To be taken care of and provided for -- so you don't have to live stressing out and quietly resentful all the bloody time.

To be kissed tenderly and treated kindly -- especially in the bedroom.

To be talked to and listened to and given attention to.

To be CONSISTENTLY treated with gentleness and care -- even when the situation is bad and stressful.

To see and feel how important you are to him -- by his continuous and consistent actions.

And so on and so forth -- you know what you want, I don't have to spell it all out to you.

But why are you so hellbent on pretending you don't want them?

Because being disappointed again and again and again is exhausting.

It hurts and shreds you inside when what you thought as "Finally!" is yet another lie dressed in the face of a charming man.

So rather than going through all of that exhausting torture yet again, better to just give up and repeating to yourself -- "I don't need fancy dinner and gifts, I am a big girl!"

That's why you keep repeating it -- again and again and again. Even when nobody's asking.

You are LYING. To yourself. Yet again.

But your ACTIONS say otherwise.

Why are you BEGGING him to treat you nicely by offering anything and everything you can offer?

Money, services, your body, your skills, your house, you.

Why?

If you don't need nice treatments from a man -- you don't need a man.

I know someone who really don't need anything from any man -- and when asked what she wants in a man, she can't answer.

Because she doesn't THINK about men and anything associated with them.

She gets annoyed even when you try to bring men topics into the conversation -- because she doesn't care. Even when it is about talking shit about shitty scrotes. She just doesn't. Care.

But you aren't acting like her.

LibFem calls it "Empowerment". I call it "Fawn response".

When you offer to go 50/50 on that date -- you are fawning to him.

When you "take charge" and go after that man -- you are fawning to him.

When you take over because you are so pissed at how he does things -- you are fawning to him.

When you go on that date, and he starts acting shitty, and you stayed there -- you are fawning to him.

Dress it in pretty words and intelligent, bombastic sentences all you want;

But all I can see is a fawn response.

Even when you are loudly negging at him to the point the whole neighborhood can hear you.

You are fawning to him.

Because you are BEGGING him to "be better" and (hopefully) treat you nicer by giving first and giving anything and everything you can think of.

Like that time in preschool when you go out of your way to give candies to everyone and doing things for them in hopes that they will be your friend.

Know what else is a fawn response? Being afraid to be labelled "difficult" and "high maintenance" because you are honest about wanting a man to protect and provide for you.

Or as the internet dubs it -- "I am not like the other girls!" response.

Not realizing that "other girls" is literally "I am not like the other girls!"-ing like you.

Women who are honest and ruthless about their wants are extremely RARE nowadays.

Because they need to be so sturdy and stubborn and thoroughly rooted in their belief -- that the continuous attacks in all forms 24/7 every single day doesn't phase them.

It is not easy to be honest and ruthless with our wants and needs -- especially for women -- but it is a struggle worth struggling for.

What we don't want to struggle with is to keep lying and gaslighting ourselves, pretending that we don't want to be treated like we are his precious.

"But what if I can never find that kind of man?"

Good, I will live happily by myself. Because I treat my[SELF] nicely. I like being with my[SELF].

Don't you like being with your[SELF]?

Why?

Why are you so terrified of being single?

Have you not taken the time to sit with your[SELF] and treat your wounds?

What are you doing?

Honestly, why are you so desperate for that man?

Why driving yourself to the brink of insanity thinking about "OMG all HVM is about to be taken!!"

No, I am not asking your essay in the comment section.

THINK -- ask yourself why.

Really, why?

Why are you so anxious, so jittery, like pins and needles prickling you all over worrying about that man?

Yeah, this is a dating sub. FEMALE dating STRATEGY -- maximizing female benefits in the dating world and in life as a whole.

If the most benefits you will get is to stay single and heal yourself -- that is what we will advice you to do.

Because, frankly, why do you even need to be desperate for a man in today's world?

Unless he can be a continuously consistent great partner to you -- why bother?

Why keep allowing shitty man to treat you shittily -- giving him anything and everything you can think of -- begging him to change -- hoping for unicorn fart and magic rainbow?

Why do you participate in the abuse of your[SELF]?

"I didn't know before!"

Now you do. So walk away.

"Pfft, protect and provide? Stop being silly, men like that don't exist!"

Then you can stop talking about them entirely.

Be like my friend, no men topics allowed when talking to her.

Because she doesn't care.

Even when it about complaining about shitty men being shitty.

She doesn't want to hear it -- why? Because that's how you genuinely don't care.

Not going out of your way to lose your marbles when people talk about wanting a man to protect and provide for them.

If you still talk about them in any way that conveys any sort of emotion, you still care.

So why not just being honest with your[SELF]?

You don't BEG a man to be a certain way and treat you a certain way.

You CHOOSE a man that is a certain way and treat you a certain way.

That's why you VET.

That's why you need to be HONEST with yourself about your wants and needs.

If none of the current suitors pass the vibe check, you CHOOSE to stay single.

That's dating the FDS way.

Stop begging, stop treating your[SELF] so shittily.

Stay safe, Stay Woman.