WTF has happened to men/OLD?

I think the prevalence and availability of porn in the last 20 years did the most damage, as it is deeply harmful to men's perception of us as human beings of equal worth. It's not "just fantasy," exploits real people, and uses strong brain chemicals to hook users. From what I read, it encourages sadism/violence, double standards, objectification of women, warped beauty standards, chasing the next high, lack of effort toward properly "wooing" a woman, and decreased empathy toward women. It is essentially propaganda that hurts men and women in the end. This IMO results in low effort dating, plus social messages to women telling us to lower our standards while simultaneously telling us how we are more inherently more "spoiled and privileged" than men.

How is this surprising to you? It’s hardly new information that most males are bottom barrel scrotes. Add to that, OLD is like panning for gold in a sewer.

When you’re raised on a diet of porn and videogames, served with a side of pervasive online and irl misogyny where you’re socialised to view women as docile objects of servitude, you’re hardly going to turn out to be a well-adjusted and respectable human.

Porn can be blamed, but honestly it's the internet in its entirety. And APPs in particular. It's the accessibility and access to women that men never had before. Before internet, men HAD to ask you out to your face. And they HAD to take you out. Now apps have turned dating into a pizza (pussy) delivery service. Men now ask themselves WHY put in the effort when I can order some hoe to come to my house? Their words, not mine. And 2nd it's harder because SO many pickmes will go to these guys houses!! On the first attempt, they get some girl to come over. So the rest of us with standards get left out in the cold.

It’s not us. Statistically women are succeeding more than ever. It’s them. Men are failing more than ever. The only things they are succeeding at right now are misogyny and femicide. Google “tinder murder” and “online dating murder” and “online dating kidnap“. There are waaaaaaaaay too many examples and they are worldwide.

I‘m going to keep sharing this TED talk until it reaches all women:

This! All of this! I am wondering too! I got off chat last night with a guy who did this… thing which I don’t get. It’s part and parcel of dating as well. I first noticed it as a teacher: some people don’t ask questions about my (former) job; they make statements. It’s the weirdest thing. I get that it’s projection and sometimes trauma but men do that and more. I’m wondering what the more is. For example, all statements made about teachers, kids, parents, education are always negative 100% of the time. It never fails. It’s why I’d never discuss teaching with anyone but another teacher.

And yet when I push back and correct the wrong over-generalized blanket statements (no kids don't drive me nuts, I'm always in control of my classroom; I'm a master teacher with 26 years experience) men just seem to wilt and go silent. Here I am speaking from a quarter century of lived experience in my career, and over half a century living… and they think they can tell me about me? Not happening! I’m gathering since it’s not logical, it has to be about power and control somehow. Just ugh. Why not actually, you know, ask questions? Show interest? Have decent conversation? The flatness, lack of curiosity, passivity, and all-around doofusness ain't cutting it.

As someone who has primarily dated online for the last 10 years, OLD has really shifted since Covid. You used to be able to find more quality people looking for true relationships. Now it’s like so many men that never used to use OLD found it and started using it to fuel their deprived tendencies.

WTF has happened? The lowest common denominator, that's what. A "free market relationship economy" always tracks to the bottom line. In a patriarchy, relationships are transactional and designed to primarily benefit men. Men will do the least amount of effort / spend the least amount of resources wherever possible to get their needs met. This is a structural issue of both capitalism and patriarchy (which are tied together). Want to help end it? Stop participating in your own commodification and get off OLD.

I can attest it's getting worse.. I tried OLD again last month and although I've got a lot of matches, only a few (around 6 out of 50) messaged me first. Out of those 6, only one obviously read my profile (I had a prompt there to tell me which book they've read the last). But, he was a scrote - he literally just wrote the name of the book in the message, no hello, or anything. I gave him one chance and asked about the book and he complained about a word I used when I asked about it. 😒

Some research I found:

"Online dating is associated with sex addiction and social anxiety"

"As a consequence of computer-to-smartphone shift, the authors noted that men had increased impulsivity (i.e. they became even less deliberate in terms of quantity of messages sent and their targets). Regarding disinhibition, both men and women lowered their partners’ preference standards." (link)

OLD is simply these corporations pimping out women to the men, snd they pay no money to the women they pimp. Women are the product, and men are the consumers. There are so many men online because in their minds, who wouldn't take free p*ssy? They have no problems with the way things are, except the ugly ones are mad that they can't go to the online brothel and be serviced for free as easily as their handsome brethren are. It ends when women stop playing their rigged game. But unfortunately, there's a new girl turning 18 everyday with no experience with men, and so it goes on.

No idea. A lot of men match and don't message. Even before FDS, I would NEVER initiate with any man. That's just not me. I only go on OLD for a couple days and then delete the APP for weeks at a time. The OLD experience has never led to anything happy or fulfilling for me. Now I'm just focusing on leveling up, fixing my health, and enjoying life without men.

Your perception and assumptions of the dating scene seems to be right. I have the same feelings. Going on OLD is a humiliation for women because women there are dehumanized. I went back to Facebook dating after getting 0 dates in real life since 2020. I was a complete disaster: I tried to filter as much as I could but their masks would fall in the first date or even before. They are ALL cheap and entitled. The only one who asked me for dinner the following day immediately started to make sexual jokes and thought he had to put no effort from that first date on. I understand your situation of not being able to meet men in real life. I work in a big city, go to the gym, go to work, joined a group of people for a specific hobby that I have and still zero dates. Most good men are usually taken by their 30s or the ones who are available, most of them are low value. Or they are physically problematic or their are intellectually poor. I meet a very interesting guy in real life. He checked many boxes and then ended up asking me for “drinks”. I knew he was on Tinder, so I figured he was Tinder fuckboi. OLD made them lazy and entitled. Why put effort even in women they meet in real life if they can go to OLD and window shopping spending 10 dollars? (Or even less). And the situation didn’t start because of the pandemic. I remember 2018 when I first downloaded OLD and it was the same. Men don’t bother asking you out in person anymore. They are cowards, fearful immature porn sick scrotes who can barely do what other men have been doing for centuries: ask a woman out properly. Thins are terrible for women nowadays.

I feel it is due to easy access and too much choice. We now have the opposite sex at our finger tips. It’s too easy and people don’t appreciate others. There’s always someone better! Even married men go on there is an example. They can get their sexual needs met and also be married or in a relationship without their SO knowing! It’s horrific! I feel your pain! I live rurally too. Ive tried the majority of them. Paid for, free ones, unpopular ones etc. But I came off in September all together after a summer of being on them. It caused me too much insecurity and heartbreak. I can count on one hand the times I’d really connected with someone and then for them to ghost me, fade out or not initiate another date. It makes you feel there’s something wrong with you and then your self esteem and confidence slides so quickly! I was so confident and felt so good about myself when I first started OLD, determined I wouldn’t let any guy destroy my confidence. It doesn’t work like that unfortunately, no matter how strong in character you are. I am now building myself up again as it impacted my MH a lot. I can’t fathom going on OLD again. But I want to meet someone and actually be out there. But I refuse to have OLD destroy me again! I am focusing on me now and having the mindset to meet others IRL. I’ve signed up for volunteering and I’m a regular at the gym etc. Nothing productive as of yet but I’m also not feeling my self esteem being shattered and starting to feel like my old confident self again. It isn’t worth it. Don’t forget the amazing woman you are x

Went through Facebook dating in my city Went through all of them. Matched with one man 😅 You only need to find one needle but there is a shit ton of hay lol.