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Hi ladies,
I am dealing with a really difficult situation at the moment with my living situation. I live on my own, but the men that I deal with who manage/own the property have been, well, horrible scrotes. It went from average, to bad, to hell.
I am in the process of looking for a new place to live, unfortunately the situation has become untenable.
The rental market where I am (like many places at the moment) is quite insane at the moment,
I found a place I like, and so far the leasing agent (female) I have been dealing with has been great (although they often are to get you to sign that dotted line ;) ). But honestly I can already feel the vibe and standard is soooo much better already. Much more professional, straight off the bat.
If I sign into this property, it sounds like most, if not all, the property management team members I will deal with will also likely be female ( at least that's how it is at this point in time). This is important for me. There are 4 other units in the block/building I am looking at.
And There are some shared/common areas.
I found out that all other tenants currently are male.
This may be changing in the coming months as some leases are coming to their ends, but there is no guarantee of which gender/s will be moving into the other spaces.
I was feeling mostly good about this place. It would only be a temporary arrangement for me anyway because I am getting my business off the ground and intending to leave the country after this lease is up anyway (if not earlier), and my finances are more solid.
However... when I found out it is ALL males.... I felt my spidey sense spike up...
Granted, I am on my period at the moment, so extra sensitive... plus also dealing with the trauma of the current situation....
I really do need to find somewhere (to move to) asap and there is not a lot to choose from at the moment...
This place ticks almost all of my boxes...
What would you do?
Would you take it, make yourself as inaccessible as possible, and hope for the best?
Or just not put yourself in that situation?
i just worry if I don't go for this property that I might be in a bad position..
We would have a shared mailbox so they would all be able to see my full name if i was to receive mail at the address (something I usually withhold from people/males until proven trustworthy) (I suppose I could try to find a way to redirect it somehow but it would mean I would receive delays with receiving my mail).
It would only be for about/up to 6 months.
(for me, nationality would make a difference too, as in my experience, men of certain nationality types have been better/worse with their entitlement levels than others, but I don't feel I can ask the agent that!)
I will also add there there are strict rules for the property regarding tenant behaviour and conduct and safety... though we can't know /control how seriously people take those rules... as we all know how men can be...
Mh... difficult. What kind of areas would be common/shared? Sharing hallways and a mailbox would be different than sharing areas you actually need to spend time in to me. I had a bad experience with sharing a laundry room once (disgusting perverts stealing my laundry) and am wary about that since then.
Generally I would say listen to your gut. If you already feel bad about that living situation it will probably not get better after you move in.
Ask the agent if you can come view the property at like 6pm-7pm to get a feel for how the neighbors act. Leasing agents can NEVER tell you how the neighbors actually behave bc after hours is when you care about their behavior and they aren't there during those times (It also helps to check for road noise etc if you go during rush hour) I don't like that it's all men tbh, but I can see how it could happen, especially at a small complex. BUT it makes me suspicious of the apartment. Men typically have lower standards of living compared to women- men can afford to live in cheaper/less safe areas. My follow up question to you would be how are the crime statistics in your area and around this new place? Get reports from the leasing office on vandalism in the neighborhood and incidents at the complex. Women don't move out for no good reason. Also asking the agent what neighborhood they live in can give you a good indication of this complex. Some of the leasing agents live at my complex and some of them live at other locations but under the same company as my complex
Can you surreptitiously make a note of the names on the mailboxes? Then go home and google the shit out of those names -- social media, linkedin, everything. Then, based on those results, go with your gut.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a35207/study-one-in-three-men-would-rape-if-they-could/ considering this, no. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever dated a man that wasn’t a coercive or actual rapist. They all are. Can’t find the 2/3 who aren’t.
Um, well.... If this is really your only option, I'd probably move out (until something better comes along) because your current landlords could possibly kick your ass to the curb in the middle of winter randomly to squeeze their nephew/scrote friend in. If you really get a bad feeling from this place is there any family nearby you could stay with? Not going to lie op your situation is quite tricky.
From personal experience, do not live with men. They do not clean after themselves for starters. Some have anger issues from having to pay child support, no girlfriend, etc. Clean after yourself in the common areas. Photograph messes that aren't yours. Promptly let the landlord/management know of anything that needs to be fixed. If you have a lock and key to your room have it at all times. I recommend that you get a mailbox from UPS where you will get a street address rather than a P.O. Box. Some men for whatever reason are territorial about the mailbox key? Weird. Have an active life outside the house too.
Nope. If I could be sure I'd never have to talk with them, maybe.
It’s only 6 months, just get out of the current scrote situation, and then keep to yourself as much as possible. Can you get a P.O. Box?
Are you able to find an Airbnb property and make a deal with the owner since you only want a short term lease??
I would not risk it sis, your Spidey senses are there for a reason!
I live with 2 men and I prefer it - I don't feel unsafe at all. One is gay, living situation is good, sometimes they get a little messy but we have a cleaner that comes in to clean the shared area and at most I'll sometimes have to throw an extra few cups in the dish washer. I lived with 2 women before, one was constantly emotionally dumping, fucking her boyfriend on the couch, refuses to follow boundaries like letting him park in my roommate or I's spot, and would leave messes everywhere, the other girl was completely normal and fine to live with. We had lots of men in and out of the house after they broke up.
Quick edit: The 2 men are usually clean and they do their own dishes + take out the trash, just stating their only downside.
If this is an apartment situation and you are all on separate leases, I'd say go for it. Usually it's more personality based than anything else. I'd rather deal with a few extra dishes in the sink than constantly being emotionally bombarded. However if you're talking about safety, I haven't had an issue with the men in my co-living unit although one of them is gay. Both usually go to the person they're f*cking's house if they're seeing someone. With my female roommates we had a lot of guys coming to the house to fuck.
IDK. I'd say it comes down to the personalities of the people you live with. If those 4 people have lived together for a long time then I'd say they understand the roommate boundary well. If you're moving in with someone unstable who doesn't understand the roommate boundary well then you're not gonna have a fun time. It's kinda a gamble anytime you move in with ppl you don't know.
I once rented a room and shared all the other spaces with two men. But the land lady introduced me to the one who already lived there and one more moved in later. I think it also depends on the country. It was in the Netherlands in a majour city and a good area. The Netherlands seem rather feminist. The price was also not cheep. The two men were always polite and there was no unwanted attention. But I still closed my door with a key at night and was not as relaxed as I would be with women.
It depends. You can ask if any women live in the building, like you don’t already know. Their answer should shed clarity on why or how they intend to attract more women. If it’s a building where residents are screened, then it should be fine. You can keep to yourself, and if the opportunity presents itself, make them (the males) protective of you.