Women who were financially dependent on a man, were you ever treated as a burden?

When you were financially dependent on a man, did he ever make you feel like a burden or hold money over your head during arguments?

Did you notice him ever getting an attitude towards you when you would buy things using 'his' money?

6 answers0 replies

Comments (6)

Unknown member

Jul 03

I’ve never been financially dependent on a man*, but I’ve seen my dad hold money over my mom’s head, because he has been the breadwinner for over 30 years. It doesn’t happen often, but he might bring it up when they fight.

My dad does not care about small, day-to-day amounts of money. He’s not a micromanager. But when they fight, and my mom threatens to leave him, he’ll tell her she won’t have any money without him.

My parents have a dysfunctional but stable relationship. To an outside observer, they look totally normal.

*besides my dad and my male bosses, technically speaking

Edited

Unimpressed 🤷🏼‍♀

Jul 03

Replying to

"he’ll tell her she won’t have any money without him."

This is the same fear tactic my father (and many other abusers) use to keep their wives trapped. I'm sure you know this, and your parents' situation very well may be different. My mother clearly has never been happy in her marriage. She's an alcoholic and I never felt like she was ever emotionally present. She just drinks to numb the fact that she hates her life, but doesn't have whatever it takes to leave my dad or change her situation--self esteem, money, motivation, etc.

I will never allow myself to be in that type of situation.

Unknown member

Jul 03

Replying to

My mom’s situation sounds somewhat like your mom’s situation minus the alcoholism. I’m sorry to hear about your mom.

The truth is my dad is a workhorse (and therefore makes most of the money), and my mom just doesn’t like to work outside the home or on someone else’s schedule. She can do it, but she chooses not to, so her “poverty”, in a way, is her choice. She has tons of energy to do things around the house on her own schedule, but she has never attempted to update her education or apply for a job in the past 30 years.

I blame her situation on both patriarchy and her own lack of initiative.

Edited

Glistening Nebula

Jul 03

I got treated like a burden when i said no to sex after a few paid dates, I gave him and his mother expensive gifts for Christmas but it doesn't matter, If being nice to you does not result to sex then you'll be a burden to them that they want to get rid of, they either ghost or mistreat you until you pull the plug.

Unknown member

Jul 04

I haven't ever been strictly financially dependent on a man, since I earn enough to take care of my basic necessities. But even then I have been treated like a burden when I made it known that he wasn't spending enough on me. Basic necessities aren't all that I want, and it is part of his role if he wants to get to date me to provide me with those other requirements. The minute a scrote starts showing signs of stinginess, it's bye-bye.

lauren

Jul 03

I my situation I lived with a man who would support me but I never wanted to be fully supported by him so he never had the upper hand. I always made sure I had some kind of income.

Women who were financially dependent on a man, were you ever treated as a burden?

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