Women Ask Me "How Can I Stop Getting Used By Men?" And I Answer: Stop Being Useful To Men

We've been swindled and conned hard for the past 60+ years.

We were told that, thanks to the evil feminists that swung against the patriarchal society and its values starting in the 1960s, that now women have to jump through many hoops in order to win the attention, affection, and protection from the men we want. Thanks to evil feminism, men are deathly afraid of monogamy; what's the point in commitment if women now have a free will to walk away anytime she wants? What's the point in putting a ring on it if she's nothing like her grandmother, who actually knew how to cook, clean, barely has a career, and presented herself as femininely as possible? On top of this, what's the point in sticking around if she's not putting out?

Men from both sides of the political spectrum now got us in a double bind: We have to be both good girls but also naughty at the same time. We have to appear very feminine, but have the machismo to do, not just all the household chores, but also have a full time job and pay for half of everything. We have to be chaste and virtuous, but also drop our panties the second our boyfriend asks us to. We have to be open to having a man claim us, but say absolutely nothing about desiring commitment, marriage, or having children.

We have to basically do nearly all of the heavy lifting in our relationships with men all thanks to ~evil feminism~/sarcasm. We have to prove ourselves much, much harder now thanks to the "80% of women ask for divorce" meme if we have the audacity for wanting monogamy, or that, because we now have more freedoms as women, we have to be the ones to make the first move and putting out all the stops so that the man can feel safe and secure enough to let him be called our boyfriends. We have to perform, perform, and perform some more, just for a crumb of decency from men nowadays.

And so, we step up to the challenge. We talk to the man first if we believe him to be too shy to approach us. We do most of the talking and communication with them. We organize the dates, or only accept low tier cheap/free dates so that we aren't deemed difficult. We give him ample amounts of space. We let them use us as emotional counselors when they have a particularly ruff day at work. We bust our asses in the kitchen to whip him up some of the most delicious meals so that hopefully that would give him the incentive to stop seeing other women. We wash and fix his clothing for him at no charge so that we can be seen as practical and wifey material. We anxiously try and prove ourselves to be USEFUL for him so that he can take us seriously.

But does it work?

Hardly.

Now you attract users and abusers. Now you attract brokies who lend their hand out for your money until they're satisfied and dip. Now you attract men who don't find you attractive, but will happily accept your services while he looks for his true love. Now you attract losers who want you to pay half of his rent or mortgage with no plans of staying with you in the future. Now you attract secretly closeted gay men who would be more than happy than to use you as their beard to stay undercover. You literally attract pretty much every single piece of shit men out there except for the man that could actually make you the happiest woman on Earth.

You see, men do not fall in love with services. They don't fall in love with you performing like a talented porn star in the bedroom or how well you're able to make him come. They don't fall in love with your homecooked meals. They don't fall in love with your money, though they may act like it when their rent is due. They don't fall in love with how much work you can take both at your company as well as in the home. They don't fall in love with how well you are able to impress the people in his life with your charm, wit, good looks, or your university degree. They don't fall in love with how hard you try in making sure he's happy in general. They don't even fall in love with how absolutely gorgeous you are. So what or how do they fall in love? Believe it or not, stress!

You have to make him sweat a little. You have to make him wonder and stress out as to whether or not you are into him. You have to not allow yourself to be his peace, and instead, have him look at you and your actions like puzzle pieces to understand and put it all together. Women fall in love once they experience the hit to their brain by the dopamine and oxytocin (released when she makes love to someone) chemicals. On the other hand, men fall in love once they experience dopamine and vasopressin. Yes. That's right. The stress hormone.

Stress + Pain = Vasopressin release.

All those tactics that everyone love to say are being employed by horrible, selfish, evil women? Like playing hard to get, ~friendzoning~ him, him realizing he is not the only man in your roster, not being too quick in sleeping with him, ignoring him here and there a little, not making the first moves, letting him do all the heavy lifting (especially during the first few months of courtship), making him pay 100% of the way? All of these causes stress and pain on some level in men, but hilariously enough, these are what makes a man fall crazy in love with his queen!

So, to leave you all with a quick advice in a neat little capsule: Stop being so 'useful' to men, and start becoming completely useless. Refuse to be his peace of mind and become his puzzle pieces that he works hard at figuring out what's your next move instead. It wasn't our grannies busting themselves hard in the kitchen that made our grandpappies fall in love with them, and it wasn't how well they matched their purses with their shoes and lipstick; it was the fact that our grandmothers knew, either by instinct or socialized that way, to activate the man's stress hormone and make him come after her with intense vigor instead of making everything too easy for him.

Thank you all for reading and happy holidays!