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Every day, I see the narrative being pushed that women aren't doing enough to break more dating gender norms.
The same topics come up over and over again:
- Women should ask men out.
- Women should pay for dates
- Women should propose.
- Women should buy men flowers.
And when women do these things, it gives commercialized feminism. It's fake equality between the sexes.
Does anyone question why this framework is so popular? Why is this idea being pushed, and by whom?
Men.
Men are out there applauding like hyenas yet I rarely see them breaking any gender norms in dating.
Where are the articles about men doing the female equivalent? What would that look like? Where is there "empowerment" movement?
*Crickets*
They'll never be out there doing anything remotely feminine in the dating world. That's why they hold disdain for women getting the princess treatment because they secretly want it to be them. Jealousy is a disease. They should live in their feminine truth so they can stop hurting us.
The older I get, the more I realize men don't actually want to break gender norms. They want to do the bare minimum while using feminism as an excuse for why women should do more.
oh but they ARE breaking gender norms. they do it all the time. except they follow their own idea of what masculine/feminine roles mean.
they think we are gold diggers, so they want us to be the providers while they dig our gold. they think SAHM/SAHW do nothing all day, so that's exactly what they end up doing while we have regular jobs and still need to take care of them, the house and the kids. they think we have too many options when it comes to dating, so they don't chase nor court anymore. they just exist as the lamest version of themselves and expect us to lower our standards while theirs remain high. they think women talk about our feelings all the time while men don't ever do that, so they trauma dump onto their female friends and partners and expect emotional labour from them. because that makes them 'sensitive' and omg he's not like other men! and don't even get me started with how they use their trauma to justify their shitty behaviours.
modern men are so utterly USELESS! they turn my vagina into the sahaara desert. they are the reason why so many women nowadays want traditional gender roles to come back. i personally don't like that idea because the only reason traditional gender roles "worked" was because women had close to no rights, so of course we needed men in our lives. but i understand the appeal. between a useless man who is "sensistive" and sits his fat ass in a couch all day playing video games, and a man who never talks about his emotions but changes a tire and fixes things around the house, women will probably take the latter.
men don't care about us. i've met men who are deeply socially aware of class struggles, who would not shut up about how poverty affects mental health, how the current economy makes people miserable, men who will defend the oppressed with the best arguments there are... and yet will say they prefer going 50/50 because "I don't want a woman to take advantage of me by taking my money while all she does all day is just stay at home."
when it comes to women, men just don't care. that's as simple as that. our labour is invisible and worthless to them. and yet when we refuse to do it, somehow we get punished.
Hah I think you’re partially right, but I would take it a step further and say they’re pushing for the roles to be reversed. If they were rigid in their roles they would have remained traditional providers, but it’s gotten to the point where they want to assume the feminine position. They want you to ask them out, pay for dinner, be the breadwinner- hell even propose to them.
They’re pushing for all this crap because it benefits them, and they’ve twisted the narrative so well to make it fall under the guise of equality and feminism. Don’t fall for it!
I find modern men very frustrating for this exact reason. They turn their noses up at traditional female jobs like housework and childcare but they also don't want to perform traditional male roles like providing and taking initiative. They expect women to take on both male and female duties while they do nothing. Dating or being married to a man like that is like having a millstone around your neck. I'd rather stay single than be with a man like that.
Yes to everyone commenting that men believe the "feminine" role is to do nothing of value.
And building on that...
The patriarchy - including individual men, pickmes, and dating culture profiteers - want women to do all the work while men do none of it.
Women already put a ton of effort into dating, and we don't want to do even more. That's where this propaganda comes in - to make us think things we wouldnt naturally think (e.g. "I should pay my boyfriend's bills")
Men are already underachieving in their role as the masculine provider, quite happily and naturally. Theres simply no need for propaganda telling men to do less.