Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part 2)

"I want to show him that I am financially capable/ a strong independent woman/ not a gold digger"

✒️ First and foremost, THIS IS A LIE. Men do not go into it like we do when out on dates - he is not sizing you up and computing the pros and cons of you during the date. Men date with feelings, women date with logic - YOU are the ones thinking during the date, men just feels. Chances are, if he asked you out on a date he already has a good feeling about you and want to see how it goes after spending an evening together.

✒️ UNLESS he dates to see how much he can wring out of you (aka operating in his feminine manwh*re energy), then yeah he will size you up during the date. If at any point during the date, you feel like you need to "prove" yourself in anyway due to his words or actions - that's a red flag.

✒️ HVM don't do this - he already know what you are capable off, he saw you or at least have heard of good things about you. That's why he asked you out of a date - he wants to know more about you. He is ready to invest in the date because he already did the cost-benefit analysis way before and decide that you are absolutely worth the effort.

✒️ And yeah he knows you aren't a gold digger - he knows the difference. HVM is a fully mature, fully sensible, just fully adult man. He knows what he is doing -- he is not that stupid. He knows the difference -- hell if he wants a real gold-digger, he will personally go out and find that woman. He VETTED you already before asking you out -- HVM is not like your typical mentally stunted scrotes.

✒️ HVM don't keep tabs, HVM don't expect you to pay back, HVM don't expect you to do anything other than enjoying yourself and be impressed by his efforts. BECAUSE HE IS COURTING YOU.

✒️ So if you go on that date trying to "prove" that you can pay for yourself, that tells us a few things:

1) You are not confident with yourself. You are chronically self-conscious. You don't know who you are, and you don't understand why he asked you out -- why he chooses you. Doesn't matter if you have sophisticated career or model looks -- deep down you feel like unless you work hard at keeping his attention, he has no reason to stay interested in you.

2) You act like the nervous candidate on a talent show -- and he is the judge, for some reason. Despite all the amazing things you already are, you walk on eggshells trying to "win" his affection. Because the society tells you, you should be "thankful" a man is even looking at you. You should be "thankful" he is giving you a chance -- especially if you asked him out (please don't do this).

"You should be "thankful" the o' great man is gracing you with his o' great presence" -- says the patriarchy.

Doesn't matter if he is the one you "really likes" -- you put him high on the pedestal and allow him to look down on you.

3) You don't think the man (any man, even) would want to pay for you -- so you offer to pay to keep yourself from the hurt.

4) You are busy thinking about you and how you are lacking and how you can show him you are a "good enough candidate" -- you completely forgot to OBSERVE and VET him. You failed to notice that HVM's excitement slowly dampened as you keep rebuffing his effort to impress you. Or you failed to notice that glee in a scrotes' eyes because he found a new victim to bleed dry.

✒️ If you truly "don't care" who is paying -- because you "don't worry about money" -- then let him pay, since he asked you out. Why are we complicating things?

Stay tuned, and stay safe.